Relapse (OPEN)

Iva leaned over the sink, running her hands under the scalding water. Her skin had began to break from the constant rubbing, causing her already panicked breath to become shallow and quick.

God, what happened? SHe had been fine the day before, now she was huddled over the sink like a weirdo. Maybe it was stress. Maybe it was Damian and that stupid kiss. Maybe it was just a relapse.

Iva pulled her bloodying hands out of the water, feeling sick. Her rubbed burning soap to her cracked skin, savoring the clean feeling before she put her hands under the water again.

She was sick. So sick. And she hated herself for it.

Aria had been walking along a second floor corridor when she heard water running in the bathroom. Assuming that Myrtle was flooding the place again, she sighed and went to investigate.

"Iva?" she asked in surprise. Moving over to the younger girl, Aria drew in a sharp breath. Quickly, but thoroughly, scrubbing her own hands, she then pulled Iva's from the sink and held them firmly by the wrists.

"Iva," Aria spoke firmly, waiting for her friend to look at her. "Iva, you're hurting yourself."

Iva flinched when Aria entered, but otherwise didn't react. She let her own hands dangle within hers, looking down at her feet to hide her tear filled eyes.

"I-I-" Iva choked out, "I was better! It did not bother me and I was okay!"

Panic filled her voice, as she started to lightly struggle in Aria's grip. "I have to do it, Aria! Or, or-"

Iva didn't know what would happen, but she certainly didn't want to find out.

Aria tightened her grip. "Iva. Iva! Look at me," she instructed. "Why? Tell me why you have to. Hmm? I'm your friend, right? Talk to me. Let me help you."

Iva sniffed, still avoiding eye contact. Her bangs dangled in front of her face, hiding her shame.

"Or, Or," she took a deep breath, tears in her eyes, "Or I will die!" She peered through her bangs, trying to pull away again. "Something bad will happen! It- It- I just have to!"

Iva watched herself in the mirror out of the corner of her eye, disgusted.

"Iva..."

Aria lifted the younger girl's hands up so they were indisputably in her line of vision. "Your hands are already clean," she pointed out persuasively. "If you wash them any more, you won't have any hands, at all.

"Is this..." The blonde bit her lip, deliberating if she really ought to continue. "Is this about Damian? Have you spoke to him since the party?"

"I-I know," Iva closed her eyes, trying to breath slowly to calm herself, "I know, I know, I know." Looking up at Aria, she watched for any anger or disgust in the girl's eyes. "I cannot help it!"

She stomped a foot, trying to show her anger, but failing.

When Aria mentioned Damian, Iva struggled even harder. "It is not about Damian!" she spat, remembering that it was Aria that Damian had kissed. She didn't blame Aria, of course, it was a game, but she image brought a slow sort of pain in her chest.

"I never even liked him! I do not need him! He is not even that handsome!"

Those were probably lies, Iva thought. Maybe Damian caused this. Maybe it was stress for school. Maybe it was her dad's angry letter. Maybe she was just a freak that didn't deserve to be happy.

"Let go," She whispered, "Let. Go,"

"I know you can't," Aria said quietly, understandingly.

She allowed Iva to rant, holding firmly as she struggled. It wasn't until Iva had gone quiet that Aria spoke again.

"He didn't kiss me."

Iva looked up at Aria, more confused than anything else. She had saw them- They had- She didn't even know.

"That makes me a horrible person, yes?" she murmured, "Hurting him like that. I am a horrible, freak, are I not?"

"No," Aria stated simply. She slowly released Iva's wrists, ready to intervene if she started scrubbing at them again. "He wanted you to think he had kissed me. He intended to kiss me - I am sure of it. But he couldn't.

"From what I have seen, alcohol makes people behave in ways they normally wouldn't. It was a game, but... it got out of hand, I think. Kissing, and stuff like that - it doesn't mean anything to me. I've never had anyone I cared for in such a way."

The blonde bit her lip, trying to come up with the proper words. "I don't know Damian, of course," Aria said, "and I can't read minds, but I think that what hurt Damian more wasn't that you kissed Jet, but that he let himself hurt you because of it." She shrugged helplessly.

"I don't know. But I don't like seeing you like this. It hurts, because you're my friend."

Iva rubbed her wrists, not because they hurt, but because she needed to occupy her hands with something to stop herself from washing them.

She listened helplessly to Aria, nodding as if it all didn't care. Damian... she was starting to think she liked him a lot more than she wanted to. She wanted to find him and apologize... after a long bath.

"You are my friend," she said softly, "Thank you,"

Aria gave Iva a small smile. "Is there anything I could do for you, Iva?" she asked. "Anything to help make things better?"

Iva shook her head sadly, unsure what to say. This was her problem and hers alone. She doubted anyone would understand completely.

"Thank you," she whispered, "For trying. I will.. talk to Damian soon too,"

She probably wouldn't, but it was what Aria probably wanted to hear.

Aria's smile turned sad. Liar. She didn't say so aloud. It was not her place to make Iva do anything.

"Well, if there ever is anything I can do, you can tell me. Any time. It's what friends do, right? They help each other."

Iva nodded, looking away to the wall. It was an awkward moment, one where she didn't know what to do.

"I owe you," she said, "If you need help, get me, okay?"

"Deal," Aria agreed. Deliberating for a second, she leaned forward and wrapped the younger girl in a hug. Her hold was loose enough that Iva could have easily pulled away, yet firm enough to lend comfort and support.

Iva, totally shocked by the hug, found herself wrapping her arms around the girl, blinking away tears.

"I.. I.. You are my friend," she said softly, "мой друг, yes?"

Aria rubbed the younger girl's back soothingly, giving her a gentle squeeze.

"всегда," she responded simply.

Iva sighed and pulled away softly, anxious to leave this place.

"I have to... write my father," she whispered, "I will see you later, I promise."

"Later, Iva," Aria said softly. She leaned against the sink, watching the girl go. "Be well..."