Insecure (Kas/Lex)

Lex had admittedly been babbling on the way to her flat.

It's what she did when she was nervous. Somehow, the woman had blabbed about her paintings.

Which left them both here now, in front of her cottage, so she could present her work to him. Lex's fingers played with the edge of her dark blue silk dress. This wasn't such a great idea, she reconsidered.

"Yes. Right. My cottage...thing." she stopped dead in front of the pebbled path and waved her hand at the place shyly.

"I know it's not huge, but I like it." a sort of pride and protectiveness swelling in her voice. The small white cottage glowed softly in the moonlight and a cool breeze caressed Lex's shoulders, forming goosebumps. She shivered slightly-

"Want to go in, now?" she asked nervously, looking up at Kas and smiling softly.

(OOC- Closest thing I could fiind- http://asset2.homesandproperty.co.uk/handp/media/great-barford-300x200_13972.jpg )

Kasper loved to hear her talk. He didn't know if she would believe him if he said so or not, but he did. The way her voice sound it was just...

When they stopped in front of her house, Kas gave it a quick glance.

"It's perfect," he smiled, and it was, just because it was hers. "You're perfect."

He leaned in to kiss her, pulling her in close to him.

"Yes," he whispered softly, "I would like to go in."

"Thank you." she beamed at him, after he had complimented her home, and as she was about to launch into how she had transformed the cabin into an elegant cottage over a period of 3 months, he spoke again.

"I'm wha-?" she murmured, blinking, and then found herself being kissed and pulled in close. Her head exploded into a huge haze.

"O-okay." Lex breathed heavily against him, not moving for a few moments.

Realising that she had not moved in longer than deemed necessary, a deep blush circled underneath her cheeks and the girl stepped back quickly and stumbled, still dazed, towards the door and opened it silently. They were greeted with the warm, almost foggy, lavender scented smell of her home, that usually clung lightly to her clothes when Lex was out.

Her small cold hand reached out and held Kas' hand, tugging him upstairs. She squished through the narrow corridor and through into her bedroom- a small space with a double bed, simple and modest.

"Erm." Lex murmured, embarrassed. "I haven't got round to decorating it yet."

She pointed to the next room. "In here." Lex mumbled, hoping he would forget the blandness of her room. The studio was quite the opposite.

"Here it is!" the woman grinned at the bizarre paintings and sculptures that were scattered across the room.

(Studio- http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3517/3247554476_69112d0b86.jpg

Bedroom- http://www.hallflatfarm.co.uk/images/Clancy%20Cottage%20bedroom.jpg

Kas smiled as she blushed and stumbled towards her home. She was so adorable when she was flustered.

He squeezed her small cold hand when she grabbed his. They flew through the house, and into her bed room.

"I like it," he smiled, "Its simple and nice. Has everything it needs."

He was then pulled into the studio. It took his eyes a long moment to get acustiom to the bright colours and chaos.

"Wow, Lex..." he siad looking around at all of them. "They're all just... wow..."

Lex tapped her finger on her chin thoughtfully, eyes watching the room carefully.

"It needs more...colour. " she nodded. "I think I'll put one of my paintings in here, as soon as one turns out right, that is." she laughed at the colourful chaos that was scattered across the room.

The woman blushed again.

"Thanks, Kas." she said shyly, looking down at her feet and giving him a moment to look at her work.

"Comes out right?" he asked with a raised eyebrow and a little grin, "I think someone has a cause of being to hard on herself. These are all..."

He spun around and then picked up a painting that was laying infront of him, "Alright, Miss Lex, what pray tell is wrong with this one?"

Lex's blue eyes widened considerably and a poorly hidden, hot blush crept onto her cheeks. The picture was an array of warm blues and greens blended in closely together, and intricate, swirling patterns were etched into it, revealing the white of the canvas underneath.

She had been thinking of him when she had painted it. It was meant to capture his essence- but there was something missing, so she had thrown it aside angrily.

"Th-that one, is...erm. It doesn't...erm..." Lex stuttered a response.

Use your mouth properly, Lex! she shouted at herself mentally, but found her tongue thick in her mouth, almost dying of embarrassment.

"It's not right." she finished, hoping to dear Merlin he wouldn't question what she had said.

Kas raised an eyebrow, "Just not right huh? Well I think thats the lamest excuse I've ever heard... however since I am not an artist I shall let it go... this time."

He put the paining down, and glanced back at her with a smile.

"You're cute when you're flustered you know that?"

He walked around so he was behind her, and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"So tell me Lex," he all but whispered, "What is your favourite thing in this room?"

Lex exhaled in relief, then bit her lip at the this time. So there was going to be a next time. A bundle of nerves loosened in the pit of her stomach- she was afraid she had messed this date up.

Merlin, she loved his smile. Distracted by the thought, the woman suddenly found herself wrapped in his arms.

She sighed softly, content and relaxed her body against him and hummed thoughtfully, looking around the room and at each of her works.

"I think it would be the newest addition to this room, actually." she murmured, eyes shining.

"And it's not one of my works." she added on, listening to his breathing intently.

He picked up her humming, and added a little tune to it, swaying them slightly to the beat.

"Oh really," he breathed, a smile growing on his face again, "So then would this thing perhaps, by anychance be," he paused a moment, lightly kissing the spot where her neck and shoulder meet, "Me?"

Lex's eyes fluttered closed, just reveling in being so close to Kas. She swallowed thickly as tingles flowered underneath the bare skin which he had kissed.

"Possibly." she murmured, not quite managing to laugh softly because of the haze she knew would soon descend and completely engulf her senses (including common sense) if he carried on touching her.

Kas smiled, his lips still against her skin.

"Only possibly?" he asked as he kissed her again, lingereing slightly and then burrowing his face playfully in her hair. "I think its I deserve a bit more than possibly."

Lex smiled softly and was silent for a moment, enjoying the feel of his lips on her. She giggled a bit and breathed him in deeply.

"You'll have to convince me of that." she murmured, lacing her fingers in his.

"Prove it." the girl dared, eyes shining with both excitement combined with mischief, and nerves.

Kas began to play with her fingers.

"I have to prove it huh?" there was a teasing laugh in his voice that was only just covering up the flirtatous undertones that had been in his voice along.

"How to prove to Lexy that I should be her favourite thing." he thought allowed as he continued to play with her fingers, running his own long them and up her arm. "I know just the thing."

He released her only for a second, spinning her around so that they were facing each other.

"How about this?" he breathed as he closed the gap, and kissed her.

"It would seem so." she tried to say with a straight face, but a quiet bubble of giddy laughter escaped her lips.

"Well maybe you cou-" her mouth was silenced by his abruptly. Lex pulled back for a split second, only to smile cheekily and meet his lips once again. She found herself burying her hand in his hair, somewhat possessively, and one arm snaked around his neck. She loved being close to him.

But she was never close enough to him. A bit frenzied by the thought, Lex pushed herself a little closer to him. After a while, she pulled back again, breathless, and smiled softly to herself, blue eyes glowing with fondness. She kissed the corner of his mouth lightly and trailed them down his neck. The more Lex kissed him, the more she didn't want to stop.

Kas responded to the woman by pulling her closer. He could get enough of this, of her.

He returned her smile as she pulled away, and was about to voice his cheeky complaint of why she stopped when she proceeded to kiss dow his neck.

The man let out a shakey laugh, and unconsiously pulled her closer to him again, "You are very good at that you know."

He never wanted her to stop, never wanted to be far away from her again. She was- was-

On impulse he suddenly scooped her up pulling her off her feet and into his arms.

"But you know," he added in a whisper, a fliratious, smile on his face and a possesive sort of passion flickering in his eyes, "I'm quite good at things too."

"Thank you." she murmured politely into his neck, fingers tracing circles over his chest.

Lex's breath hitched tightly in her throat as soon as she was scooped into his arms and caught sight of something different in his eyes- something strange. It made her want to squirm with both anxiety and a frenzied excitement.

"Kas.." the woman swallowed thickly, unsure of what exactly she needed to say. How she should say it.

Oh Merlin, was she about to mess this all up?

Kas raised an eyebrow at the woman, a small smile pulling at his lips.

"Lex...?" he shifted from foot to foot as he waited.

Oh God, she really was about to do this, wasn't she?

Lex shifted a little in his arms.

"Kas...I need you to put me down." she managed to croak through her scratchy throat.

This was going to be hard to explain.

Kas's grin dimmed only slightly, but it was taken over by a note of concern.

He set the woman down carefully.

"What up, Lex?"

Lex sat on her hands and looked down for a long while in an uncomfortable silence. She sighed and crossed her arms across body, hugging her torso.

"Kas, you know that I can't..." she trailed off and cleared her throat uneasily. "I can't really go..any, erm, further than..."

Was it possible to drown in embarrassment?

Because the woman was finding it harder and harder to breathe.

This isn't rejection. This isn't. This is setting boundaries. Lex reassured herself mentally.

Kasper tried his best to remain still as she sat silent - figuring that she was probably trying to work through something in her head, and his fidgeting wasn't going to help - but he'd never been that good at such things, so in the end it was a lost cause.

"You can't..." he prompted slowly as she hedged about, but then it clicks. "Oh... Oh."

He sat beside her. There was a long silence, as he thought that through.

Eventually he cleared his throat, "That's- that's okay Lex. I can't... could never ask you - We'll go at a pace that's good for you. What's good for you will be good for me."

Lex chewed her bottom lip persistently and wrung her hands a few times. A heavy sigh escaped her lips. She had ruined the evening. And Merlin only knew why, but here she was, about to screw it up some more.

"It's just that...I'm not sure I ever could. I just can't imagine being that..."

What was the word? Exposed? Unsafe? Insecure.

"....vulnerable." she finished.

Again Kas was silent as he digested that news. It was... was...

Well, now it was a mere matter of what he wanted more, wasn't it?

"That's... I understand Lex," he said softly. "I'll manage some how."

Leaning over he kissed her cheek, "I think I'll go now. I shall see you again soon?"

Lex's eyes fluttered close for a split second as he kissed her cheek, and she smiled weakly at him.

"See you soon." she nodded, and showed him to the door silently.

The woman dragged herself up the stairs again and collapsed face down onto the bed. After a few moments of no noise, she groaned loudly into the quilt. and buried her face into a cushion.

What did I do?

Tears began to stain the satin of the pillow.