Make Me Wanna Die (Anna redo, 'cause I fail!) [open]

Take me, I'm alive, never was a girl with a wicked mind, but everything looks better, when the sun goes down.

Make Me Wanna Die by The Pretty Reckless

Taryn was screaming at no one. Again. This was everything she was; a broken girl with a temper. She screamed again, at the nightmares. At Avon. At her "mother". They made her wanna die.

She sighed loudly, and thought of Avon for a minute, her thoughts inevitably lingering on the dead little girl. Taryn closed her eyes, her head leaning back up against the alley wall behind her, and she sang out the notes to the song, the song that was her song. "I had everything, opportunities for eternity, and I could belong to the night..." It was her. "Make me wanna die, I'll never be good enough. You make me wanna die, and everyone you love will burn up in the light." It wasn't just her song. It was a song. She hadn't wrote it, never. But it was for Avon, for "mom", for all of them.

Taryn looked out at her once black and white world. It was still so colorless, but now it held so many shades of gray. Suddenly, Taryn heard a movement, and her whole body tensed, very glad she wasn't stupid enough to leave her pocket knife at home, for anything could be here in the streets of Azorat.

Pacing herself, Anna walked back from the city of Azorat, trying not to walk too fast. She had spent another night lurking around the shops instead of getting drunk with firewhiskey and the occassional shot of vodka, so she was a little more restless than usual. Adding to her restlessness was the fact that this was the third night in a row she had gone without alcohol, and Anna had never went two days without a shot of liquor in her system. At least, she didn't back then.

Thenkfully, to bring a stop to her withdrawal symptoms, Anna had carried around a small bottle of firewhiskey this time. She quietly opened the bottle as she walked, bringing the bottle to her lips and swallowing a little bit of that substance, rejoicing as a burn lingered in her throat. She felt almost like herself again. Almost. Her thirst quenched, she screwed the cap back on the bottle and placed it carefully in her shallow pocket again.

There was someone in the shadows, and Anna could feel it. Her instincts, albeit dampened by the alcohol in her system, heightened, and her mind was on as full of an alert as it could possibly get. She continued to walk to see how they would react, but her steps were quieter, slower.

Taryn yanked herself up off the ground and whipped out her knife, doing nothing just yet. If it wasn't a threat out there, Taryn wasn't getting herself sent to Azkaban or prison because she was paranoid. The figure outside was quiet. "Hello?" Taryn called, her eyes burning with the fire for her enemies. "Who's there?" Taryn stepped out of the shadows.

Standing out there was an unfamiliar girl-definately not from Durmstrang. While Taryn didn't care for them, she remembered faces. The girl was blonde, average height, and she could see a bottle slightly sticking our of her pocket. She looked to be too young to drink, but so was Taryn, and that didn't really stop her. Taryn's voice was ice cold, not filled with hatred just yet-allies were always very helpful-but suspicion. "Who are you?" In an attempt for the girl to trust her enough to say something, Taryn carefully put the knife away, although her eyes never left the strange girl.

Taryn took a few steps towards her. The night was dark, and it was raining. Her steps were still nearly silent, but they echoed oddly throughout the silent streets. Her eyes were narrowed in suspicion as Taryn repeated her question. "Who are you? What are you doing here?"

If Anna had been a different kind of girl, she would have gotten her shit together and introduced herself. However, she was not that type of girl who shrieked when she saw even a glint of a dagger. She herself had one - though it was not within her reach at that very moment - so why would she have a need to be scared?

Through the flecks of dark Anna did manage to see the girl, or what she could make out of her, at least. Brunette, can't really tell how tall she was, had a dagger with her... Merlin, Anna wanted a dagger oh-so-freakin' badly right now. The tingle in her spine as the shine of the metal blade hit her eyes... the icy cold sparks that ignited in her fingers the moment she tapped one with a single nerve... she had lusted for that touch for years. Seeing someone with a knife... oh, how her jealousy roared to high levels.

"You can call me Tshering," were the only words that seemed to be heard in the silence, but those were not the only words Anna had muttered out of her mouth. That was because all the other words had been said in silence, but that was the way she had wanted them to be. Those other words were too meaningless, too little.

Taryn kept the handle of the knife firmly clenched in her hand, her eyes still remaining on the girl. Her copper colored hair fell around her face, and she continued to stalk forward. Her hazel eyes were glaring at the girl now, standing nonchalantly-she could admire, respect that about her. She managed to catch a few glimpses of the girl, her eyes long since adjusted to the dark. Messy blonde hair, unsmiling face, cold eyes. Just as Taryn was, aside from the blonde.

Taryn smirked, yanking the knife out of her pocket. "So we're on even ground, Tshering," she said, with sarcasm tinging her still smirking face as the knife clattered to the ground. "So long as we're on last name terms, I'm Lennee." Taryn said casually. "Got a first name?"

The knife glittered on the ground, stained with red. Taryn glanced at it, then her hand. She must've been holding the blade instead. She gazed at her hand unconcerned. She had suffered much worse. "Tshering, huh? Doesn't tell me much about who the hell are you. But, that aside," Taryn's hazel eyes locked on the girl's. "What are you doing out here? Sure as Hell don't know you from school. I always remember a face," it wasn't said boastfully, but factually, neutral.

Anna watched as the dagger fell onto the ground, almost screaming when the metal collided with the ground, igniting a tinkling sound to be released into the air. How could anyone let such a possession fall onto the ground like that? That... that was almost borderline immoral. You took care of your dagger, and that meant making sure it never fell onto the ground, or got dented, or a single scratch, or to not put the wrong chemical on the blade after a good kill. "Poor dagger," she muttered.

"I suppose I must say that it is nice to meet you, Lennee," Anna began coldly, her eyes not showing none of her anger towards the falling dagger. If the dagger ended up being dented, if was Lennee's loss; for during a fight that would definitely hurt her chances of winning, because dented daggers did not always have the sharpest blade. And sometimes, dull blades were almost as dangerous as sharp ones. "Of course I have a first name," Anna added after a long pause. "But it is on a need-to-know basis, and you don't need to know."

The whiff of blood filled the air, but it didn't concern Anna all that much. She only got angrier at Lennee's next question. She wasn't her mother, or her sister, or even her cousin. Therefore, there was no reason that she should be prying into her personal affairs "Depends," spat the angry Ravenclaw, crossing her arms on her chest. "What school do you go to?"

Taryn grinned ruefully at the girl's wincing reaction to her falling dagger. "Don't worry about it. The dagger won't dent. I...I've made sure of that," she grimanced as she thought of how many things, how many precious minutes wasted, had been spent on making it invincible. "And, besides, if you wanted to kill me, it's not like I'd try to stop you," Besides the fact that I'd win, she finished mentally. "It is a beautiful dagger, no? Der Tod des Star-," she spoke it's Russian name.

"You don't need to, because you and I both know it's not nice to meet me," Taryn grinned. "It's not nice to meet me in the light of day, let alone screaming at imaginary people in a dark alley with a knife," she shrugged, wiping the blood off on her pants. And then she did the unimaginable. She chuckled-darkly, of course, but still. "Alright then, Tshering. Suppose I don't need to know, but I'll find out anyways," Taryn's face fell dead serious.

Taryn met the girl's eyes. "Hogwarts, then," she decided. "I don't think you look like one to attend Beuaxbatons. And pardon me for prying," she said sarcastically. "I just wanted to make sure you aren't some evil mass murdered." she thought for a minute, then finished off with a cold, "Durmstrang."















Der Tod des Star-

"Well done. You seem to be rightfully prepared for anything," Anna nodded, mostly in sarcasm. So what if Lennee had an 'invincible' dagger? In Anna's private store she had a dagger that was made out of pure diamond, and anyone knows that the only thing that can cut a diamond is another diamond. Well, anyone sane. "I don't kill for pleasure, unlike some people. I have a purpose when I do," she explained. Truth was, she didn't want to tell anyone she hasn't had her first kill yet. Der Tod des Star... sounded German, if Anna had to guess, but she knew nothing about languages.

Anna gasped in mock despair, and even though it was pitch black one can tell her bright blue eyes still remained without a single speck of emotion in them. "I'm not imaginary, and you're not screaming," she remarked, even though she knew Lennee probably knew that. She could only snort at her next words. "You're not going to extort that out of me, I warn you," Anna warned darkly, her eyes narrowing into nothing more than slits.

"Well done," the blonde's sarcastic voice spoke, and she began clapping her hands without much enthusiasm. "Well, I suppose I shall accept your pardon, and no, I am not a mass murderer." Hugging her arms tighter, she then said without missing a beat, "I can't say the same about you, though."

Taryn grinned a sarcastic grin. "Ya know, Tshering, you could be a good ally," Taryn nodded thoughtfully, her hazel eyes trained upon the girl. "I don't kill for pleasure...I'll fight you, sure, give you a hell of a beating, occasionally, but I wouldn't kill you," because my nightmares would eat me in Azkaban, she finished mentally. "I've never had a purpose," Taryn shrugged, bored, leaning casually up against the wall now sure the girl wasn't going to rip her throat out. "Don't want one, either."

Taryn looked Tshering in the eye. "I have figured you aren't imaginary. That's exactly what I was doing before you arrived here. Ich habe mich längst an die Alpträume von meiner kleinen Schwester gegeben, und ich kann nicht gegen sie kämpfen, schreien, nur für sie zu gehen. Ihr Tod hat mich nichts anderes als ein Zombie-Toten," Taryn spoke the words in German, assuming the girl would not understand them. "Mein Dolch, denke ich, ist nichts weiter als ein Reiz-einem schlechten, daran. Um darzustellen, dass ich kämpfe," the words came out much easier in German. Then Taryn grinned-sadistacilly, of course. "I don't mean to extort it out of you, Tshering. I have...means of finding these things out. Tshering, ich bin durchaus in der Lage zu finden, diese Dinge aus, auch aus Russland," she was intermixing her German with English-to throw Tshering off, slightly, but also to say what needed to be said in a way that kept it secret.

Taryn grinned at the girl's sarcasm. "You can stop with the sarcasm. Go ahead and insult me. I'm long past caring. Ehrlich gesagt, würde ich mich umbringen, weil ich nicht viel hinterlassen haben, wofür ich leben," Taryn shrugged casually, as if her suicidal thoughts were not her biggest secret-aside from Avon, of course. "Thank you, master," Taryn's face betrayed no emotion, no sarcastic smile this time. "Well, I can assure you, I'm no murderer-yet," the Uchitel grinned. "Und wenn ich wäre, würde ich wahrscheinlich nicht, Ihnen zu sagen, jetzt sollte ich?" she muttered under her breath.

"Pft," Anna scoffed, rolling her eyes. She crossed her arms on her chest and leaned on the wall on the other side of Lennee "How can you beat someone who doesn't feel anything?" she asked calmly, as if it was the most normal thing in the world to say something like that, which was not. If there was one good thing Bertram Tshering had done to his only daughter that did not involve music was the fact that he made sure that she could not show her feelings so well. Or least, be blocked from them for a long period of time.

"Can you stop mixing up shit in German with English, because it's pissing me off," snapepd the young girl after Lennee finally chose to shut the fuck up for one second. "If you aim to piss me off, fine. I'm going to walk out of here. But don't expect me to be an ally of yours anytime soon." She put her right leg in front of her left leg and opened the lid of her firewhiskey, drinking a small sip before putting it back into her pocket. "I don't like having allies that piss me off. I like it better if they shut up and not say anything." She then spoke a few words in her native tongue that didn't make sense in either that or English, but it was a lot about how people couldn't trust other people. Except for Anna, there was an exception, but she did not feel like thinking about that right now.

Anna raised an eyebrow at Lennee's next words in German. She cursed very silently to herself in Dzongkha, a safe language because practically no one out of Bhutan - even the ones that have actually been there - could speak it properly. "Don't blame me for speaking Dzongkha," she replied, rubbing her eyebrow, "I was trying to make sense of what you're saying." She laughed at Lennee's words, flicking a stray hair out of her vision. "You planning your first kill already?" she asked, thinking to herself about the exact same question.

Taryn rolled her eyes. "Trust me, being one of those very people, I've found ways to get in their heads," Taryn gave an evil smirk. "Manipulating people is very simple-even simpler than people make it out to be. You just have to be driven and know what gets to them." Multiple times, in fact, Taryn had used that exact strategy on her "mother", only it often ended in no food and a drunken slap.

Taryn smirked. "But I like mixing shit up with German," she sarcastically whined. "And besides, if it's pissing you off, there's no way I'm gonna stop," Taryn said it almost...friendly. Not enough to be noticable or anything, but the way you'd treat a sibling-no respect, suspicion. "But you still could be a helpful ally. I don't think there's a damn way in Hell I could consider you as a friend, but an ally? Maybe," the red head shrugged. Taryn gazed at the girl's firewhiskey for a spilt second, before reaching into her own pocket and popping in a piece of strong, minty gum, shuddering as she swallowed and continued to chew. She craved alcohol...but she had so many reasons to not drink it, more than she had to drink it. "Allies that piss you off are better; then again, I won't have any allies if I'm looking for someone I enjoy, because people in general just piss me off," Taryn shrugged, like this was the most natural thing in the world. "I'm a fighter, I'll tell you that. There's no fucking way that you can keep me from annoying the hell out of you-but, sometimes all the shit that comes out of my mouth is good," Taryn realized how much she was cussing, but really, it stopped mattering. She found her words seemed to lack that anger, the power, the lack of education, kind of. Tshering muttered something under her breath, and Taryn didn't bother to ask what. If she could say bitter shit in German, best left alone. "Call me Taryn. It's too fucking weird for someone to call me by a last name-any last name, really. Hell, I'm a nobody."

Taryn gave a lazy kind of half smirk. "Hello, I'm saying all sorts of shit in German. Speak your secrets in whatever fucking language. I don't give," Taryn shrugged, shaking her red hair so it caught some light. "I don't make much sense in any language, really," Taryn actually smiled-sure, it was small, but that was all you could really get out of her. "Definately," she gave a short, rough laugh. "Got a fucking hit list, Tshering."

Taryn pondered this for a split second, then said, without missing a beat," There's always something that gets to a person. Sometimes, not even they know it, but there always is. Or they're dead," Taryn shrugged. "I've thought of it, Tshering. And there are no exceptions to that-if you look, there is something that gets to them, be it emotional or physical." The only reason she knew this was because she was a strong person, a fighter. She couldn't remember one time she'd cried-except for when Avon died. Crazy, sweet, good, innocent Avon. That was what got to her. And Tshering had something, too-and Taryn was gonna find it.

"I will, thanks for your blessing," Taryn grimanced. She could almost see Tshering wanting to come slit her throat. It was amusing. Taryn decided now would be a good time, and she went and grabbed her knife. Just in case. "Good to know you understand," said Taryn, gazing absently out into space, at the rain clouds, searching for a nonexsistant star. The name, "Tshering"...conversations...a name used loosely, thrown around Azorat...it was so familiar, like she should know it. "If you can make sense of it," Taryn stated mysteriously," The best ideas are fucking made from random shit," Taryn was unpreturbed by the way Tshering laughed-it was fucking annoying, but she dealed. I mean, come on, she had...never mind. "I know, Taryn's a dumb shit name. I don't know what the hell was going through my biological mum's head when she named me. Oh, wait, yes I do! 'I'm going to bear another child, abuse my children 'til the young 'un's insane, then die on them and leave them to a druggie! And then-get this?-as if I haven't put my oldest through Hell, I'm going to take the one thing she cares about away and leave her as a fucking. Bitch. All fucking alone and shit.'" Taryn muttered bitterly, subconsiously. It was shit that she would've said in German, but she just spewed the words out in English, for her bitter self and no one else. She didn't give a shit if Tshering heard her. Tshering...it was still so familiar. "It's gum, dumbass," Taryn hesitated. "Wanna piece?" she held out the pack, tenitively, not friendly, but enough for her to trust her. "I swear I didn't do anything to it."

"I know," Taryn gave an rueful grin. "There's a reason I speak German-it annoys the fuck out of people that don't speak it." Taryn kept subconsciously thinking about where the hell she heard the name "Tshering" before. It was too damn familiar... "Oh, I wouldn't kill them at once. I know how to hide my tracks. It'd be...slow. I have a lot of people that need to be killed. Fucking. Killed." Taryn's last words were a hiss, dark as the night. "I could live with Muggle jail, but Azkaban? No..." Taryn snapped her mouth shut, positive that whatever came out next she didn't want to say. "I'd kill myself first, Tshering." The name, saying it, brought up a memory...a conversation, overheard between some people. Taryn loved to eavesdrop..."Anna," she said, in a voice dripping with malace and victory. "That's your name. Anna."

"Aw, Tshering, you know it's true," Taryn teased her, probably only succeeding in pissing her off-which, in its own right, was fucking awesome. But Taryn, who could list the people that she knew and tolerated on one hand, knew it was true as well. She knew what got to her 'mum' (alcohol). She knew what had gotten to Avon (her sister and 'mum' fighting). She knew what got to her (Avon). And, hell, she'd find out what got to Tshering too. In fact, because Taryn lived with her eyes wide open, she could trace just a smidgen of fear, surprise, that she knew only too well; Anna had something to hide, something that Taryn could-no, that she was likely to find out. It was an excellent feeling, knowing that she did have something, however so miniscule, over Anna. And now that she assumed that it was there, because Taryn felt as though there was a small chance that it wasn't, she would find what got to her. Perhaps it was only the assumption that Taryn was a lurker, a little monster in the crevices, and very capable of finding if she did have something to hide. So Taryn took this idea and shoved it to the back of her mind, lost, but not forgotten. Something to ponder later.

"So?" Taryn shrugged. "In case you haven't noticed, dumbass, we're in the middle of a dark alley. I don't know if you live here, but I do, and these people will fuck your shit up." Taryn twirled the onyx knife expertly between her fingers, letting it slice her skin, the blade glimmering. She stopped only when the blood started to drip off of her fingers. It hurt like Hell, it truly did, but Taryn wasn't one to start crying like a little bitch. Taryn didn't notice Anna pulling out her knife, however, as she closed her eyes and leaned against the wall, breathing in the scent of the streets. She could tell Anna was pondering her rant, and she suddenly mentally smacked herself for being such a fucking retard and not saying it in German. My God, she felt fucked. But Taryn wasn't intimidated-she hadn't given her exactly what happened. It was a story, made up, because she couldn't remember shit about her childhood. "I've noticed," Taryn said coldly. "I don't have to admit it, though-oh, the advantages of hating fucking everyone," while this could be, should be, taken as a sarcastic statement, sarcasm didn't drip from her voice at all, a still, chilling air to the words. Taryn shrugged and stuffed the gum into her pocket, breathing in the scent of cigarettes and mint. It was a pleasant smell. Taryn's eyes watered ever so slightly when Anna blew the smoke into her face, but Taryn didn't flinch at all. Her only words were, "Aren't you young to be smoking?"

"Good for you," Taryn snapped, but absently, because her attention was now otherwise occupied. "It's a decent language to learn," that wasn't a lie. German was an excellent language to learn, but the words were absent, empty, as Taryn gazed at empty shadows. She saw something...she knew she saw something. "Yes, it would," Taryn answered, still very distracted, her hazel eyes flashing, never once looking back at Anna as she stalked forward, her hand brushing against the wall, dagger in the other, poised to throw. "But if you can hide your tracks well enough, they won't find you." Taryn had watched enough "C.S.I" with her drunken 'mum' to know that there were things you had to hide, and then you could get away with bloody fucking murder. "I'm a ginger. My hair could probably be died-just not blonde. Brown or black, maybe," Taryn's voice was a meer mumble, her eyes gleaming, focused somewhere out on the streets, flicking back and forth. "Because if I kill someone and get arrested," this sentence was louder, much louder. "I'd die first, before I let them get rid of it themselves." In truth, Taryn never really planned on killing anyone-except for the people that killed Avon, and really, wouldn't that be justified. Then, something moved. "Deal," Taryn hurridly replied, dagger clutched in hand as her pupils dilated in fear. Because she knew what was there, or moreso, who. Someone that could hurt only her.

Her 'mother' staggered drunkenly out of the bushes, smiling wistfully at Taryn and Anna, or no one at all. "Why 'eller, 'air, bebeh girll," she drunkenly slurred. "Looksh like you'z made a new friand, Tarrry," she used the annoying nickname-a nickname she only permitted Avon to use. Taryn, forgetting Anna, forgetting the world, screamed, "Shut it, you bitch!". Because if there was anyone in the world that she blamed for Avon's death other than herself, it was this woman in front of her.

---

((OOC: Yeah. I don't know what the hell just happened either, so...looks like we're on the same page, love.))

"True," Anna scoffed, "I'm just going with whatever you say here, honey." It was obvious that in her sarcastic tone she was just plainly saying she did not want to hear any of Taryn's chatter any longer. She did not want to let it slip she was beaten and hurt and her heart was broken and she could see Thestrals - but everyone seemed to see them nowadays. That was funny; Anna thought that the Second Wizarding War had been to stop all of the terror roaming the magical world. Well, it did not. If anything, it might have done the opposite, contrary to what everyone believed. Almost everyone Anna knew had some sort of sob story - realistic or not - and Taryn was no different. It was obvious there was some sort of drastic event that happened in her life; what sort of normal person would go from nice to nasty over a period of time if it wasn't for losing their sanity? She wasn't going to ask Taryn about her roots, though; Anna had always preferred to be that sort of person who watched people from afar and listened to information about their lives, mentally gathering it in her head as she eavesdropped into conversations, which were often boring without any of her own doing. That was practically a survival mechanism for her, because without that trick of hers, she would practically die in Hogwarts or be considered outdated for not knowing one piece of gossip that seemed to fly past her nowadays.

"Yes, it's a dark alley," Anna replied calmly, not letting a glint of emotion pass through her lips, "but when you think about it, it is only as dark as you make it out to be. Yes, they may fuck all of the shit you have, but only if you let them do that. There are a lot of variables in life that you can determine. So to me, it is a dark alley, but it also contains a lot of light." She mentally noted that that was one of the best rants she had given to anyone in a very long time, as tedious at that sounded. If Taryn did not enjoy it, it was her loss, since that contained a little bit of wisdom that Anna had managed to think of on her own for once. She only blinked out of human reflex when blood fell onto the ground with a plop. The smell of it in the air sort of relaxed her, but the thought of it alone made Anna think of vampires. She had nothing against them, but they still managed to scare her with only a single mention. "You can't hate everyone, Lennee," Anna mused, blowing another smoke ring into the air. It was one of the biggest ones she had blown in her entire life, so she was actually pretty proud of it, as terrible as that might sound. "It's mentally impossible. I know; I've tried." She ended up falling in love instead, actually. She took another deep breath of her cigarette before shaking her head. "Nope," she replied, laughing emptily. Her laugh was hollowed, as if it had been forced. Hell, it was. "You're never too young to do anything of your choosing. It depends on whether you let the law stop you from doing it or not.

The only German word Anna knew what it actually meant without a second thought minus good morning was scheisse, which meant shit. she had heard it when Bertram was swearing on the phone with some associate - obviously for his harmful trade - from Germany who did not speak good English. "Nice to know you recommend it as well," Anna replied, nodding. She decided that the cigarette's lifetime has now ended, so she dropped it onto the ground and neatly stomped it out with her foot. That did not stop her from lighting another equally lung-damaging one, though. "You do know that the more you kill, the more likely you are going to make a mistake, right?" Anna asked, raising an eyebrow. She knew these things because she had read about them, and she had almost watched it with her very own eyes. She then burst out laughing at Taryn's next statement on dyeing her hair. "Those things don't work; even if your hair falls at the crime scene your DNA is still going to be the same, and they are still going to find you. Your fingerprints are the same, your blood type is the same." Anna's midnight blue eyes glanced over to where Taryn's blood had dropped onto the cold ground a few minutes earlier, partly to prove her point and partly because she still felt like it. She did not get the context of Taryn's words, so she could only shrug her shoulders and replied, "Sure. Whatever you say."

Unlike Taryn, Anna's eyes did not go mad when she saw that woman staggering with every step. Her eyes did not show a flinch of emotion. In fact, her mind felt a little pity for that poor woman. It was obvious by the term of endearment she had mentioned that that was Taryn's mother. Had raising someone as troubled as Taryn drove her to insanity? Anna would, if she was her. And the disrespect Taryn gave her... it was sickening. Sure, her mother was drunk and unstable and she definitely did not look respectable, but at least she had a mother who was alive and cared for her, somewhat. She mentally chuckled when that woman called Taryn 'Tarry' because that was such a stupid nickname. She didn't flinch or gasp when Taryn yelled at her, but she only said, "Don't you have any respect for your mother, even if she looks like shit?"

Suddenly, whatever angle Taryn had been going for evaporated. Who the fuck was she trying to be, anyways? Suddenly, she went back to being Taryn. Taryn Lennee, the fucked up masochist with a dead sister that didn't put up with anyone's shit. She whipped around and stood two feet in front of Anna, her hazel eyes glowing with anger, a strength that she had lost. "You obviously know it's true, just as well as I do," Taryn snarled. "You know even better, I assume. And you," Taryn whipped around again and walked back, pacing now. "You assume I'm lying. Lying about everything. Well, I'll tell you one thing, bitch," Taryn stopped, about a foot from Anna now. They were around the same height, making it easy to look her in the eye. "You may think that you can read people, hunt them down, try to find them, but I assure you," Taryn took one step closer to Anna. "I'm. Better." Taryn hissed the words, a low, demented sound that was sad, lonely, demonic. She didn't know why now was the time she chose to show Anna that she wasn't really the somewhat soft, sob-story girl in the alley, but she knew this-now was the time to show Anna that she was evil, demented, ruthless. Empty.

"Oh, good for you," Taryn let loose a demonic laugh. She was pretty convinced that she was going crazy anyways. "A dark alley, very good!" her eyes glimmered with hatred. Taryn was silent for a moment, then said," That sounds like a load of motivational shit. Like, glass-half empty, and other fucked-up stuff. Well, I'll tell you this," Taryn looked at Anna, her eyes empty, cold, if not slightly crazy. "It doesn't matter how you look at the world. It's pain-when it hits you depends on the person, but that's all it is. We're all here to die," Taryn leaned against the wall. "So what's the point?" Taryn recognized a good speech when she saw one, so she had to give Anna that-but she had tried her damndest to match, if not surpass. And if she didn't, so. What. "Can't hate everyone, can I, Tshering?" Taryn laughed, a hollow, empty sound. "That's funny, 'cause I've been doing it for years. And you," Taryn didn't step forward for emphasis this time-the foot or so between them was just enough for her,"You look like someone who would give it a shot. Like someone that it would take a lot to keep from hating everyone. So what happened, Tshering. Fall in love?" Taryn laughed, because this seemed so physically impossible, because she doubted that it was true. "Well, I'll tell you one thing; I can't be loved," Taryn shrugged. "Taryn Lennee, the girl who can't be loved," she muttered, leaning up against the wall. She grinned, her teeth gleaming in the dim streetlights. "How the hell do you even get cigarettes? Didn't think they'd sell 'em to kids," Taryn cocked her head, her eyes empty and dark.

"Yes, like it matters my opinion," Taryn scoffed. "I'll tell you a crap language to learn, though," Taryn said after a moment's hesitation. "Polish. I'm not kidding when I say virtually no one speaks it. Even the Polish kids don't speak it." As if adding emphasis, Taryn spoke in the native Polish tongue that she didn't want to know, as if it connected her to Avon, to her family. "Ale poza tym, to wciąż moje tajemnice bezpieczne. I za to jestem zawsze wdzięczny," she smiled a little, because it was true. She had no reason to hate Polish language, because it did one thing for her-it protected her secrets. "Ah, so you believe in that shit," Taryn nodded, a grave tone to her voice. "Well, I'll tell you this; it's not true. The more you kill, the less likely you are to make a mistake, because you'll be more experianced, wiser in what gets them off you trail-and onto someone else's. That's the thing, though," Taryn spoke in a monotone. "If it's your first kill, and you leave a hair, or a fingerprint, and you aren't a convict, then your DNA isn't in the system," or so, her 'mom' had told her. "And you're safe-because sometimes, these things go forever without anyone being found out." Let's face it; the only reason Taryn knew this was because she liked cop shows. "Don't get it, do you?" Taryn's eyes seemed to darken a shade. "Well, suppose I wouldn't expect you to."

Taryn heard Anna defend her mother, and suddenly, every bit of anger, every bit of resentment, of bottled-up emotions and secrets were screamed, shouted into the dark streets of Azorat. "Ha! Oh, of course you're defending her. It isn't the fact she looks like shit. It's the fact she is shit! Why," Taryn's voice was a low growl, a terrifying, sickening sound. "Should I respect you!" she spat in her mother's face. She whirled around to face Anna. "Whay should I? I had a sister, Anna-know that? Her name was Avon. Avon, well, she went crazy. Why? Because of her!" she jerked her thumb over her shoulder. "Because she beat my sister. I have screamed at this woman to let her go, but she DIDN'T! Avon was the only family I had left!" Taryn's strong voice was mixed with tears, with sobs, her voice broken. "And do you know what that bitch did? She locked me, locked me away hidden somewhere. She called up her bitchy little drunk friends and made me watch my sister die! They made me watch them murder her!" tears streaked down Taryn's face now, and she didn't even attempt to stop them. "You wanna know what my sister's last words to me were? She tried to hold my hand, and I was trying to keep her from bleeding, but I couldn't. I was covered in my own sister, my salvation's blood. And she whispered to me, she said these words, words that I swore never to repeat. And here I am! Avon said to me, 'Taryn. That's your name. Don't let them take that away, Taryn. I'm sorry. Sorry that they broke you,' And then she died. My little sister," Taryn couldn't talk, scream through the tears now. So the next words came out as a whisper. "Gone. Gone forever. And here I am," she looked at her mother, hanging onto her every word without pity, sympathy, sorrow. "All that's left of yesterday." Taryn's mother smiled. "Well, Tarry, I suppose it's my fault. My little china doll of shattered glass," her mother drunkenly bubbled. "And you don't think I'm sorry-'cause I'm not. 'Pick up the pieces, broken girl, before they turn to dust'," she said, sarcastically, quoting Taryn's journal. And Taryn picked up the onyx blade, unable to keep her anger from spilling over...
The blade drove into Taryn's arm, her hand gripped tight around it, and she screamed in agony, in freedom as the blood gushed down her arm.

"Oh, honey, I never made any straight statements on my thoughts; you, weirdly enough, seem to have made them for me. For that, I am bloody grateful for," the Ravenclaw had replied in a mock motherly voice. She had had enough of Taryn's shit that she was yelling at her; half the time, they didn't make sense, and she wanted Taryn to know that she felt that way. Not like it would make much of a difference. She didn't flinch or blink - or do anything at all, really - when Taryn whipped around to face her. In fact, her eyebrows only arched so high they could reach the top of her forehead, her arms crossed as a gesture of her anger. "Yes. You're better than me, or so you seem to say. Well done," she deadpanned, her tone overly joyous, so joyous it sounded too joyful to be real happiness. She smirked, putting her hands together as quietly as she could as a sign she received her message. Let this girl go crazy with her mad thoughts, she thought to herself. Soon enough, she'd lose all her rotten juice and she'll slump to the ground like a dead fly when all her energy has been used up to yell at her. That was just Anna's rather subtle way of showing she too could be ruthless. She watched Taryn pace around the alley like a madman, a single flicker of emotion nonexistent in her midnight blue eyes. Had she been a different person or this a different circumstance, Anna would have watched this scene and laughed bitterly at this sudden turn of events.

Anna laughed bitterly, trying not to howl again in the darkness. But she did anyway, letting the ringing of her laughter dissipate into the darkness. The echo it provided was rather terrifying. "Ha, motivational," she snorted, "motivational shit. Out of my mouth, out of all others. Makes a lot of sense, don't you think?" She kicked her legs one by one because she felt the need to move them, and they had begun to feel stiff with her standing like that. "Do you know what they say about death and tragedy, Lennee?" she began, her voice embodying a curious tone, ignoring all of Taryn's previous comments. "Tragedy is when someone ends up dead. Everything else is just a bump on the road. Frankly, I think that statement is quite true. I doubt you do, though, but just a little bit of wisdom handed down the Tshering family for generations to keep you occupied." Anna laughed bitterly again, but in a more controlled way so to not let her laugh turn into howls of laughter again. "Oh. Do I look like the sort of person who will ever be loved, eh?" she asked sarcastically, knowing full well the answer to that was a big, fat, firm yes. The fact that she had said yes made her feel as if she was betraying someone. A very specific someone. Yet she had no reason to; after their first meeting, they owed each other nothing. She had no obligation to him. Still, there were these intense emotions in her mind that told her to admit the fact that yes, she loved him, to someone that she trusted and cared and would keep her secrets safe with her. And Taryn was definitely not on that list. And even if she told her, Taryn had too much hate in her to understand what it truly felt like to be loved and to love. She then rolled her eyes in utter credulousness at Taryn's next words. "Oh... so you think I bought them myself, eh?" she asked, her voice showing all the sarcasm she could muster. "You're pretty damn bright, you know that?" She drew another deep breath and let the tar soak into her lungs before slowly spewing the smoke from her mouth.

"Polish reminds me of the words shoe polish," she muttered, running her fingers through her hair. She then listened intently to Taryn's sentences in Polish. She didn't really understand the language and none of the words Taryn had spoken seem to have had any English or Latin or even just plain Germanic roots, so she had no clue of decoding what she had said. "Actually," she remarked, "it sounds like shoe polish too, come to think of it. No offense to the Polish, of course." She crossed her arms again at Taryn's next words, tilting her head to one side. "Uhuh. Yes. The only serial killer I can think of that did not get caught in one way or another was Jack the Ripper, but the forensics back then were about as good as bird shit," she mused, wetting her dry lips with her own saliva. Thank goodness she chose not to wear too much make up -particularly her lipstick - today. "Well, they will track down the potential suspects. If you kill your mother, then your enemies, they're going to get that one thing in common: you," she added, her tone beginning to sound more optimistic by the syllable, "then, they'll figure out the puzzle pieces. Then, they'll find you and catch you. It won't be that simple in an actual investigation, but I only meant to state the main points." She rolled her eyes at Taryn's next words; no one - not even the keenest linguist - would bother to decipher the complicated language Anna had dubbed Tarynese.

Listening to Taryn's words at the same time, Anna had stared at the other girl's mother. She found nothing to hate about her, even with the fact that she had made her watch Taryn's little sister - her name was Avon, so it seemed - die, and she was a terrible alcoholic. It may be because of Anna's own wholehearted respect to her own mother, and that respect somehow, one way or another, expanded to mean all mums, even if they beat their kids half to death or neglected them in the middle of nowhere. At least they hadn't thought - or at least dismiss - to kill them when they were still unborn. Her eyes flickered, looking up at Taryn when her voice was hoarse and she started yelling aimlessly about her sister. Again, had this been a different situation and Anna had been living a different kind of life, she would have spat in Taryn's face and laugh at all her screaming, telling her she didn't care one bit. Even if she was still Anna Tshering, third year Ravenclaw, friendless, smoker, drinker, she would have laughed if Taryn didn't look so eager to kill her if she put one toe out of line. What a sad story indeed, but did she honestly care? Not one bit. She waited for Taryn to stop talking, and walked up towards her, careful not to get in her mother's way.

"You know what, Lennee?" she snapped, finally letting all of her boredom and angst that she had felt throughout the entire conversation go. It was pretty relieving to let it all go and yell at someone. Too bad she couldn't do it too often or she would end up being the most hated person in the world. Or Hogwarts, at least. "I don't give a fuck about Avon! Yes, too bad she died from your mother's sins! Yes, she was all you had and the only thing you seem to treasure! Yes, Avon gave you a name! Yes, your mother happens to be a piece of shit that gets drunk about every single night!" She then looked at Taryn's mother, who seemed to be saying something, but she ignored her, even if the words were important. "Move on, Lennee! Get over her death! You can't get her back, and it's time you stop dwelling on your past grievances and try to make a name for yourself without getting yourself in Azkaban! Have you ever thought of that? At all? Or are you too wrapped up in your fucking hit list to care about anything else? Get a life, you useless bitch!" She took a few deep breaths as she finished her speech, and it all felt like, like... a huge weight was lifted off her shoulders, which it was. So why was staying cold and distant such a pleasure to her if she loved venting and ranting so much?

Her eyes showed not one speck of emotion when a blade passed through Taryn's arm at the hands of her own mother. About time, thought the Ravenclaw. Sooner or later, she would have done it herself with her expensive, brand new diamond dagger. A smirk tugged on her lips, and even after a little time of resisting it she stopped avoiding it and let her smirk took over. She didn't wince when the blood gushed out of the ground and fell into a huge puddle around her. Now, Anna's own dagger felt like piercing her arm too, but by the rate the blood was pouring out of Taryn's arm, it was enough punishment for now. "You deserved that, you know," she muttered, mostly to herself, though she couldn't help but look up at Taryn's face, scrunched up in agony. The other girl had started screaming out of all the pain, and Anna began to laugh cruelly, woefully. "You need a doctor, baby," she began, a smirk still firm on her face as she watched the blood pour on the ground and around her shoes like a waterfall, standing still. Her voice was quiet enough to be ghostly and her tone was of mock kindness, and the mockery was hot enough to sting, "you scared?"

Taryn simply looked at Anna, as if observing her like an interesting, repulsing insect. Her eyes were cold, and she answered none of Anna's statements; because they were all true. And Taryn knew that. Taryn knew that, for as long as she could remember. She stared at Anna a moment longer, than shook out her long, red hair. The tears that stained her face shook off easily, with her hair-almost too easily, but Taryn was content. She looked up and her eyes fixed on a star, somewhere far away-Avon had taught her something about stars, long ago. She had pointed to the very star Taryn saw and said, "Tary, if I ever die, that's my star," Avon pointed. "And if you, that's yours," she pointed to the star directly next to it. "So we'll never be seperated." Taryn had a feeling that maybe something similar had happened to Anna-because no one was born like this. Or maybe she was-but in that case, Taryn felt no pity. Hell, she didn't either way. But somewhere, maybe, inside of them both were two people that wanted so to be free of their demonic shells.

"Perhaps it does make sense," Taryn replied, shrugging. "I believe that, in a world as dark and damned as this one, people try to tell us it'll be okay. It was never okay. You know that, Tshering, don't you?" the words were emotionless, monotonous. Taryn wasn't even looking at the other girl. She listened to the jabber about tragedy and death, and she whispered, to herself or to Anna no one would ever know, "Do I know about tragedy? Ha! Death isn't tragedy; life is." And only Taryn would ever know how true these words were, how death was almost a reward for surviving this hellbound Earth. Taryn took a deep breath. "I believe that you are. I believe that you're hiding something. I also believe that I don't give a shit," Taryn shrugged. "I'm unlovable. Maybe you aren't. And, being someone who cannot be loved, I hope you aren't. I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy, because it sucks." Taryn laughed, hollow, empty, ringing. Her eyes were still fixated on the star, like it was a lifeline, the only thing holding her to this world. In a way, she supposed it was. "No," Taryn blinked, her voice blank. "But I figured if you had somehow gotten them yourself, there'd be more reason they could arrest you. I bet more children get arrested for underage drinking and smoking than murderers," Taryn thought aloud, even though it might not be true. It probably was, in Taryn's mind, because you could tell when someone was drunk, or high, but you couldn't always tell when they carried murder. She ignored Anna's next sarcastic comment, mentally thinking that she wasn't much better.

"Of course," Taryn snarked. "Although, come to think of it, it does," she bobbed her head thoughtfully. "Well, then," Taryn grinned ruefully. "I suppose I'll be the next Jack the Ripper." Taryn popped in another piece of the minty gum, savoring the smell. "But that's the thing, Tshering," Taryn replied. "I don't have enemies. Living ones, anyways. There are people dedicated to killing them." Taryn decided not to mention how much she longed to be one of those people, killing the sinners that took away all she had. She closed her eyes, licking her lips, tasting that strange, familiar taste of cherry chapstick and blood from the scars of the skin she had peeled off.

Taryn listened simply, emotionlessly to Anna's rant. But it did sting, because it was all true. It was only so long until she hurt her...so long until she just broke her nose, punched her arm. And when Anna was finished, her voice was quiet. "You don't understand, do you? First of all, that," Taryn gestured to the drunk old woman. "Is not my mother. She adopted me, she thought she could treat me and my sister like shit. Murder us. You don't know what it's like to lose fucking everything. That little girl you don't give a fuck about, Anna? Her name was Avon. Avon Lilith Lennee. Nothing else. She was a little blonde girl, with big, almost transparent blue-grey eyes. She understood people like me-purposeless bitches," she quoted Anna. "And she was everything I've ever had. My parents both died, before I could even know them. Avon was sick. She was mental, schitzophrenic. But she was mine. She protected me from everything, even though that was my job, because I was the older sister. Anna, have you ever lost everything?" Taryn asked. "Have you ever just not been able to move on? I have tried every last thing. But that's exactly it; when you only have one thing left in all your world, you will never move on. You will suffer, and so will everyone you know. It's life, Anna, and that's me. And, you know what?" Taryn's voice crescendoed. "I don't want a name. Because all I'll ever be is a girl with a dead sister. A girl with no purpose; that's all everyone has ever seen me as. And I don't give a SHIT. I want my sister back, I want her more than anything, but you know what? I'll move on, for her, someday. I have thought of everything," Taryn's words were powerful, ringing. "Everything to move on, to live a life. But it doesn't work. You see that star?" she pointed right at it. "That's Avon's star. When we were little-the year before she was murdered-she pointed to it and said, was she to ever die, it was her's. That's where she'd always be. The one directly next to it? On the left? That's my star-in my mind and in Avon's. So we'll never be seperated. And I was stupid, fucking stupid enough to believe it. But it's not true!" she screamed up at the sky, a horrible, rough sound. "Because you're gone, Avon, aren't you?" and she dropped to the ground, her mind catching up.

Taryn looked at her mother, holding the clean blade in her arms, confused. "You had to know, Rae, that that was coming," Taryn hissed through clenched teeth, the knife of onyx fluttering to the ground. She heard Anna's statement, and didn't turn to look at her. "Deserved it? I wanted it. I'm a masochist, I suppose," Taryn looked at the gushing blood, flooding down her arm, staining the ground red. Rae looked at Taryn. "Tary? You stab yourself?" she asked shakily. Taryn nodded, her eyes fierce, feral. "Tary, that's no good. Avon-" she began, but Taryn cut her off. "We don't know what the fuck Avon wants for me, because she's fucking dead, thanks, Rae!" Taryn exclaimed. "Don't need a doctor," she mumbled, because the loss of blood was starting to go to her head. "'m not scared. I'll be fi..." Taryn's eyes rolled up in her head and she fell to the ground, but something flashed in her field of vision as she went down.
Little Avon, twelve as she should be, with blonde hair split in two braids down her back and a little black and white plaid dress. She smiled-straight teeth-at Taryn. And Taryn, for the first time in forever, smiled, a real, true, happy smile as she lost consciousness and fell.