Pushed to the Edge (Closed)

J. J. looked around her room with a blank stare. It all seemed so different since she was last there.

But the room hadn't changed - in fact not at all. That was the problem. She had been the one who had changed... and she wasn't sure she wanted to deal with it. Not really.

Slowly she walked over to her bed, picking up the raggy old stuffed animal that sat on top of it. Her childhood - that's what she had in her hands right there.

And it made her sad. It made her sad because she didn't think she was ever getting that back. She bit her lip, as something bubbled in her stomach.

It wasn't sadness not really - it was stronger than sadness... more bitter - it had a sharp sting to it.

Regret, that's what it was. Hard and bitter regret. With a growl from the back of her throat she flung the stuffed animal to the side and felt like doing more - knocking down some picture frames, shredding the drawings - childish scrawls she wasn't sure why she had kept - into hundreds of pieces.

It wasn't fair. It just wasn't. What had she ever done to deserve this? What? She had been good hadn't she? She'd been more than good. She did everything for other people - she gave up what she wanted to make other people happy, and what had that gotten her? What?

Nothing, that's what it had gotten to her. A big fat nothing - literally. She couldn't speak, not really. She couldn't do anything. She was useless, broken, pathetic and it just wasn't fair.

With another little growl she did just what she had wanted to do, picked up one of her framed family photos and chucked it against the wall. It made a satisfying thunk and then shatter as the object hit the floor and the glass broke. With that it seemed as if she had shattered some sort of gate within her as well, for she continued on a rampage about her room, chucking, ripping and all about destroying anything that got in her path.

She hardly noticed when the door opened with a bang. She couldn't tell the difference between that noise and the one she was making.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

J. J. hesitated, a pillow held lamely in her hand as she whirled around and blinked at her sister.

"For God's sake Juliet," her sister sneered looking around the wreckage and purposely using the name that the girl hated. "Is this what they teach you at that freakish little school of yours. How to behave like a caveman?"

Despite wincing at the at the dread name J. J. continued to blink at the girl. She could feel something bubbling in her, but she made an effort to bite it back.

"Ma thinks you're up here killing something." Abigail looked at the mess scathingly, and J. J. refrained from speaking the thought that she was - she was killing her childhood. "What the bloody hell is your problem?"

J. J. blinked once. What was her problem? And then twice. Abby really wanted to know what her problem was?

That thing she had felt bubbling up in her stomach blossomed and grew, and before she could stop it, or even really knew about it, it was bursting forth.

"What's my problem?! WHAT'S MY PROBLEM?!" her voice broke and her throat strained at the decibel the words - her very own words, not some magical equivalent - burst from her mouth. "I'll tell you want my problem is?! You Abby, right now its you! And this room, and just EVERYTHING!"

The young girl flung the pillow on the floor and let out a call frustration.

"I couldn't talk Abby!! I couldn't. fucking. talk! Do you understand that! They tortured me and I could not talk and you want me to tell you what my god damn problem is. You're so-so-so!! God Abby I spent years, years in your blood shadow, every freakin' step I took in the god forsaken place it was always - there goes Abby's sister -She's not a outgoing as Abby is she? I'm sure she'll be as pretty as Abby ... one day - every damn place I went that was all I ever heard, but did I ever say something to you about it once. Not freakin once! I just smiled and took it. I took it as a complement for my sister instead of the freakin' insult to me that it was! And then I get one thing ONE THING! That you did - and you have to treat me like I'm a freakin leper because of it. You don't give a damn about magic one way or another - the only thing you every freakin' cared about was that it wasn't you who got it, it was me!!"

She stood there for a long moment, taking deep ragged breaths attempting to catch it once more, adrenaline still pumping through her veins.

Abby started at her for a long moment face slacked, "J. J. I-"

"Know what Abby, save it," J. J. shook her head, her voice barely above a whisper, but emotionless, and cold. "I'm done. I don't want to hear it."

Shaking her head she shoved past the girl, and started taking the stairs two at a time. She couldn't stay there. She had to get out of that house, out of, just out.

She had the door open and was half out when Abby caught up grabbed her arm.

"Please Jul-"

She ripped her arm out of the girls hand.

"You're too late Abby."

"J. J. just-"

"ABBY! I'M FINISHED! I'M DONE! I'M- I'M - JUST GO TO HELL!"

With a head shake of disgust she slammed the door in her sisters stunned face, and took of down the walk at a run. She had no idea where she was going, but at the moment, anywhere was better than there.