Don't Cry Out Loud

Faye listened to her footsteps echo around her as she walked among the catacombs, stopping every few moments to look at the name, or casket that she pasted.

There was a time when the catacombs were just her place to hide away from a world she did not understand, the fact that it was a final resting place for so many people never even regestered in her mind. But now...

She could not seem to get the fact out of her head.

Stopping in front of one with no name - just a box... just what once use to be a human. She felt a sadness that this person's name had long since been forgotten - that all they had left in the world was a box to leave people wondering.

She felt an odd clench in her stomach as she remember her fathers words - just a fire.

She wouldn't even have leave a mark on the world.

If she were to... to...

die she thought the word carefully.

If she were to die....

Would anyone even remember she was here at all?

Faye didn't hear the footsteps of the aproach, she was too caught up in her own thoughts to pay attentiont to anything around her.

She jumped rather violently at the voice, giving the girl who had spoken an wide-eyed startled look that turned into one of slight confusion as she was sure she had seen her somewhere before.

But, that did not make sense now did it? Where would she have....

She shook her head and paid attention to the words the girl spoke.

"Oh no- I don't... I didn't know them at all- I think they've been dead for a long time," she spoke softly focusing back at it. "It just made me... reminded me off..."

How exactly do you tell a complete stranger you were contemplating your own death?

Faye smiled slightly, "Sounds a little crazy when you say it outloud doesn't it."

She shook her head and sat silently as the girl sat down; she bit her lip as she thought about it.

"I guess I've just had a bit of a preoccupation with ... dying... illness.... recently."

She pulled her knees into her chest and listened to the girl speak. She had the russian down that was true, but her accent was distinctly english....

And she still couldn't get over the fact that she had seen the girl somewhere. But Faye had never met anyone from England ... Unless...

"Faye," she said with a tiny smile, " Just Faye to most... "Oh you" to my parents, probably "that girl with Cancer" once the word get around school. "

"I'll try not to get in you're path then."

Faye gave a sad little smile, "It is a part of life isn't it... funny how when you're young you don't bother awknowledging that. Its not supposed to part of you're life... it will be some time, you suppose, but that would be so far in the future, it shouldn't matter, thats not really you're life - its another one of you're life. You'll be completely different then..."

"You think so too?" Faye bit her lip as she thought about it. "Were you... I mean the only place I could think of having met.... the crow?"

She hadn't really thought about the kidnapping in a while now. But now that it was in her mind, along with her present mindset she wonderd ... could she perhaps blame her illness on that? She had felt fine before then, and then she came back and...

She smiled a bit and nodded, "Thats what I've been trying to do - I think."

Faye smiled a bit and nodded her head, "That would be me; the little blonde russian girl, who did more huddling than helping."

"Are you?" she repeated, "Then I shall look forward to seeing you around the school. Its a good enough place; I do not know how it would compare to hogwarts... I never been to that other school myself."

The younger girl gave an outright laugh.

"Well in the past nothing, but... I met this one person - he's completely crazy but... he's got me doing all kinds of wacky things, I never thought I'd do," she gave a little smile and shook her head fondly as she thought about Tre and his absurd list.

Faye laughed slightly as her head was patted, "Well I'm glad that I was tollerable... I was just trying to stay quiet... and pretend it wasn't happening."

Much like she was doing now.

"I hate the boat," the girl shivered elaboratly as she thought about it. "I don't like water... large bodies of water..." Hell, even the bath sort of scared the girl, but she was never going to admit that one out loud.

"Good - I'd like to know."

"Well, some of them are just..." she shook her head and smiled some more. Mostly, they were all just 'Tre'. It took her a moment to catch the tone Charlotte was using. "Oh know, Tre's not... he's not like that... he's just... a friend - well more than a friend but... not that."

Faye smiled and nodded her head at the girl. "Yes - no more kidnappings please."

Upon the next question, she culred her knees into her chest and just shook her head.

"I-I... " she rested her chin on her knees, "I had a bad-bad... experieince with water when I was... little. I don't ... when I get close to it - I..."

She shivered and shook her head. There was just no way she could do anything with water - ever.

"THat would be neat," she said after a moment, "To see another place. When I was little all - all I wanted to do was travel... see places."

She bit her lip. Now there was possibly so many places she'd never get to see.

She laughed, "I guess that was confusing but really - I'm not Lying... Tre is a romantic sap but... he's more like ... my brother, than my boyfriend.. he's not like... Roman's my..." She gave a little grin, as her cheeks began to flush and she played with the hem of her robes.

Faye have a greatful smile and nodded her head slightly. Taking a deep breath she attempted to push her nerves aside and think of something else.

Faye listened to her with faint jealousy. Sure, her famiy had gone places like that, but who would ever talk Faye? She'd be a disgrace now wouldn't she?

"I think I'd like that very much," she smiled slightly, "But you wouldn't have to do that... miss things... and spend money on me... I don't- you don't..."


Blushing she duck her head, and giggled slightly, "I don't know if I'd but..."

Faye blinked as she thought about all the possiblities there could be.

"Well... I-I... I don't know where I'd want to go," she bit her lip. "There are so many options, isn't there... I always thought Paris would be Romantic... or-or-or..."

She kept running through the options unable to come up with a definite one.

Faye just nodded her head as if she knew this talk of family members to be true. She thought that if she had some that would tolerate her she'd never want to leave them but... perhaps she had a different view on such things than everyone else.

Again she just shook her head. "Me? I'm not all that adorable... I'm just.. a girl."

Faye nodded her head, "It is the same here. I always assumed it was probably the same for all schools but, what do I really know?"

She bit her lip as she smiled. Even with the option of going to more than one place she couldn't think of where she'd want to go. She had spent too much of her life longing to travel to come up with a choice of just one place now.

"I don't think that everyone calls me adorable," she said softly.

Faye raised her eyebrows, blushed and laughed. Where would she want to get married - or go on a honey moon.

"I always thought... well- I want to get married somewhere... far away; not here. Anywhere would be good as long as it wasn't here," she bit her lip as she continued to think. "And... I've kind of thought I'd want to go Greece.... or maybe Rome... all that history..."

She shrugged, and gave a little bashful grin, self conscious once more.

"Oh - I can think of a few who haven't."

Faye smiled and nodded her head enthusastically, "Yes - I think I do." There was so much history in those places. She coulnd't wait; she'd have to look up on her Mythology and-and-and...

She grinned.

"Oh no one," she shook her head, and laughed. "You don't need to hex my family for not calling me cute."

Faye smiled, "I won't." But the girl doubted she'd change her mind. She was just excited to do anything, see an where that wasn't Russia - cold bleak Russia.

"I don't know," she laughed slightly, "I don't think they will take it all that well."