Betrayal

Lex's wide blue eyes watched her surroundings carefully from where she was perched in the tree, awaiting Kasper's arrival. Her fingers absently played with her bottom lip. He said to meet him here and Merlin, it had been too long since Lex had seen him. So, naturally, she had put in a bit of an effort. New white dress and she had weaved a few daisies into her hair.

It was a bit different from her look on their first date- then she had been groomed and scrubbed raw by an amateur highstreet stylist- this just looked more Lex.

But the last time she had seen him...she rejected him.

The woman visibly flinched. Would he...was he about to leave-

Shaking the thoughts from her head, Lex leaned against a branch of the tree and continued to wait.

Kas felt a knot grow in his stomach. He coulnd't believe that he had - that he had...

He shouldn't tell her. He should just- just-

Oh lord, she was never going to look at him agian. She was going to - to -to-

He stopped and looked up, smiling slightly as he found her in the a tree - again.

"Are you going to come down beautiful?" he asked with a teasing grin, "Or am I going to have to come up?"

Lex returned his teasing grin and shook her head. "Find your way up, handsome." she challenged, swinging her legs on her branch.

He didn't look like he was about to do something...something unexpected, but the woman already knew how good he could be at completely masking his emotions and-

Lex took a deep breath, trying to calm her irrational paranoia. It was just a regular, casual date.

Everything was fine.

Kasper laughed and shook his head. She really was something.

God he loved her.

Yes that was it - he loved her.

Too bad he was realizing that when he was about to screw everything up.

Maybe he should just climb up to the higher branch and just let himself fall off. That would be less painful than he what he was going to do.

Still, he climbed his way up to her branch, plopping down besides her.

Smiling slightly he leaned over and gave her a quick kiss.

"Let's stay on the branch this time, yes?" he gave a little laugh. "You look beautiful by the way - like always."

Lex blushed when he kissed her.

Again.

Merlin, how many times- and I still blush?! she groaned mentally. Though admittedly this time, it was less obvious and more of just a pink tinge on her cheeks.

Flashing a sheepish smile at him, Lex nodded. "On the branch- got it." Sighing, sherested her head on his shoulder, just in the crook of his neck and listened to his breathing.

"I've missed you." she murmured simply, silently marveling at the truth of it. Every time he wasn't there, she felt as if...as if, somehow, a piece of her wasn't there too.

Kas smiled a bit, noticing her blush - still. God he loved that blush. Smirking slightly he playfully tapped her nose with his finger, "Good; I don't know if I can break the fall for you twice. And we wouldn't want you hurting yourself, now would we."

Kasper's heart clenched a little more. He couldn't do this. He couldn't tell her. It would -would...

But he couldn't lie to her either.

"I missed you too," he said softly, playing with her hair. "You didn't get to congratulate me on my promotion; I'm a real adult now - with a real job."

Lex wrinkled her nose slightly when he tapped it and grimaced slightly. "Sorry about that." she winced. "Again." she added sheepishly.

Smiling softly to herself, she snuggled closer to Kas, trying to savour his scent. "Really? An adult?" Lex giggled slightly. "Are you sure?" she murmured, tracing circular patterns over his chest lightly with her fingertips.

"Where do you work now, then?"

"You're forgiven," he gave a little laugh, "Again."

Kas smiled as she snuggled closer, and took advantage of the time he had left. He knew she wouldn't be so willing to do something like that in the near future. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, "Well now ... I don't know if I'd say I'm too much of an adult."

"You are looking at Durmstrangs latest Potions master."

Lex was tempted to pepper kisses along his neck, but the last time she had done that... It would recall a painful memory. For the both of them. That chapter was closed now, dealt with. And he was still here, wasn't he? Still next to her, where she wanted him to be. Always.

Kas had accepted her weakness- her insecurity. But she had never felt more secure in his arms in her life. Smiling softly, the young woman sort of lost track of the conversation and blinked a few times, trying to make her recover subtle.

"Potions Master?" she asked after a few moments of silence. "You're in charge of kids in a room with things that can blow up?" Grinning, Lex shook her head at him.

Kas grinned impishly, "Well now, you don't sound like you have much faith in me. I'll have you know that I probably found every way to blow up a potion in my day - I know the warning signs better than anything."

He let out a laugh.

"Whether I will go to stop said explosion or not however," he gave a crooked grin, "As long as I get the kid out of the way..."

Lex laughed, hand finally lightly resting over his heart and her muscles eased. "I don't doubt it, Kas." she murmured, still laughing quietly.

"Merlin help those kids- though if you were my Professor, I'd think it would be my favourite class." she grinned up at him, then a flicker of confusion crossed her features.

"There aren't any students crushing on my Kas, are there?" she pouted. The thought hadn't occurred to her before.

Kas gave a lopsided grin, "your Kas? Hmm? Is that jealousy I detect?"

He laughed a little before he remember what he had come to say, and how close it was to this. That thought sobered him completely.

He didn't want to say this - not at all; he'd rather fall out of the three. But there was nothing to help it.

He had been an idiot and he'd have to face the consequences.

"Hey, Lex, I got to tell you something, okay?"

Lex smiled and kissed the corner of his jaw affectionately. "Mine." she confirmed, eyes shining with adoration of the man, though she did sort of try to conceal it. It wasn't working very well- but who cared?

She frowned, instantly concerned about the sudden shift of mood. She sat up properly, not leaning on him anymore, and her hand rested on his arm, gaze searching his.

What had gone wrong in that split second?

"O..okay?" she said softly, uncertain of what was going on.

Kas ran a hand through his hair nervously. He glanced at her, and then away agian. He couldn't say this to her face. He had to, he had to...

"The other month, after well everything - I went out for a drink... to celebrate or, who knows maybe I just wanted to get drunk," he shook his head. "Anyways, I did what I wanted. I got very, very, very drunk. I can't even say I remember it all, but there was this woman there - and well... she- I- I didn't want to... or well not really but, I was just so drunk, and she was soo.... there..."

He hung his head, a lump in his throat that he had to swallow past, to conintue to speak.

"I'm sorry - so, so, sorry."

Lex froze, brain unable to process this much information, these many emotions at one time.

But if it was one thing she felt the most, the one that shook her to her very core- it was shame.

She was just so ashamed. Ashamed that she had actually, properly trusted someone so totally, and been so blind while he- and she was touching him, actually touching him where she had- and Merlin, Lex could just picture him with, with this blonde, tall, sexy woman and-

The woman emitted a soft, whimper as her hand flew to her lips. Kas had kissed her. And his mouth, it had been on her.
All over her.
Lex scrunched her eyes close, trying to banish the image of him with someone else. Someone who was willing to-

"Did you..." she choked out before breaking off, suddenly realising that a few tears had escaped. Wiping them away angrily, she cleared her throat and climbed down from the tree silently- she realised now the same tree where they had met, and hated herself for doing so- without a second glance towards Kas.

A small part of her automatically yearned his touch at her own sadness, knowing that it would be a soothing balm to her wound. That he had inflicted upon her. No. No- she wouldn't allow herself to think like that. Lex would not pathetically fall to his feet, right after he had- he had betrayed her.

"Did you sleep with her?" she asked quietly, though there was a mingle of controlled sadness and rage in her tone. Her heart felt like a wounded animal, curled up in a corner, limp and broken.

Kas winced. He could see her face. He wanted to reach out, comfort her but she didn't think she'd want him to touch her.

She was dsigusted with him.

He was disgusted with him.

How could he have been? Why did he?

He couldn't say the word to her question outloud so he just nodded his head.

Lex tilted her head back slightly over her shoulder slightly after his short silence to face him. But she hadn't anticipated how much it would hurt just to look at him.

Because every time she saw him, Lex saw someone else- someone so much more than her- standing next to him in her mind's eye. Touching him, right in front of her.

Lex dropped her gaze immediately, scared he had seen her wince- but not before she saw him nod. So he'd slept with someone else. So what? They had known each other for that long. She wasn't in love with him. She wouldn't be.

She had to stop being in love with him, right now.

Stop.

Right. Now.

"Okay." she managed to say. Lex frowned down at her feet as they suddenly started to walk away. The woman swallowed thickly and wrung her hands, still walking.

Refusing to look back.

What else was she meant to do?

He didn't chace after her. He knew it would be pointless right now. The hurt was too new, to raw. Kas felt that hurt as if it was his own. He had done that to her.

He had done it.

"I'm sorry," he called after her, just having to say it. "She was, nothing.... nothing compared to you... I'm sorry."

His voice echoed around him uselessly. She was already gone.

Kas was already alone.