Teardrops on my Gutiar

Tessa was standing on the edge. She was tired of everything that was going on. Tessa was still upset over Phillie's death. And really wasn't getting over it. And she hated how it was affecting Afonka. She could tell that it had hit him hard. And it was like he wasn't the same person anymore. Tessa left Ariel up in the common room. She had spent a year getting around without a dog. But she wrote a note telling why she was doing it and wrote down some things that she wanted Lena and Afonka to have. Tessa knew that this was selfish, but she didn't see any other way out.

She then walked closer to the edge. Tears where streaming down her face. This would solve all of her problems. But she would no longer around the people who loved her. Afonka would never forgive her if he found out what she was planning to do. That was why she was hoping that nobody would find the note till after it was over.

Afonka had just been walking around the lake, feeling better than he had in a while. Sure, there was still Feliks around, but he was less scared of everything. And that was progress. Grinning, he hummed an upbeat tune, practically skipping around.

Noticing Tessa, he tilted his head slightly. But she couldn't - why was she near the water? A sudden bout of fear chilling him, he ran towards her, calling out her name as he did. He didn't want to scare her and have her accidentally fall into the water.

"Tessa," he said, pulling up beside her. Getting a good luck at her, he froze, pulling her into a hug, "Hey, why are you crying? It - it'll be alright."

Tessa was standing on the edge. She was ready to jump, but she knew that she couldn't do it. She would be leaving Afonka and Lena behind. And she couldn't do that to them, but she wanted the pain to stop. And when she jumped she would never have to deal with it again.

She was chilled being so near the water. Tessa then heard Afonka calling her name. She stood extremely still because she was scared that she might fall in.

He missed her into a hug. She was still crying. “ How do you know that Afonka.”

Pulling her away from the edge softly, Afonka looked at Tessa curiously before glancing towards the water, his mouth suddenly dry. She - she wouldn't have tried to jump, would she? Because that wouldn't make any sense. She was Tessa, she wouldn't want to die. Shaking his head to clear that ridiculous and impossible thought, he held her close to him.

"I don't, not really. But Tessa, things, well, bad things happen. I - I know that by now." Shaking his head again, and laughing a little nervously, he kissed her forehead. "But they always get better. You just have to wait a little and they do. I feel better," he said, hoping that would cheer her up. "I sound more like myself and - and I'm not scared of every little sound anymore. That - that's good, right?"

Tessa then was pulled away from the edge. She knew that she would have jumped sometime. Everything was just keep getting worse. But she knew that she didn't want to see Afonka. Because she knew that he would be upset if Tessa's would kill herself.


“ I'm sorry Afonka.” She knew that he knew what she was planning to do. But he said that things would get better. Hoping that this would make her a little bit better. “ That is good that you are feeling better.” She smiled as Afonka kissed her forhead.

"You don't need to apologize," he murmured, running his fingers through her brown hair. "I just - we - were you -" shaking his head, he swallowed the lump in his throat, tears beginning to well up in his eyes as he choked out, "planning on jumping? Because Tess -" he held her tighter, shaking at the idea of losing her. He didn't - he didn't know what he'd without her. "I - I love you." Blushing, Afonka spoke softly, tears rolling down his cheeks, "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Nodding and swaying softly, he said, "It is good, isnt it? But now we have to focus on you feeling better." Biting his lip, he paused for a moment, watching her before nodding again. "You'll be alright."

Tessa then started to cry as she ran his fingers through her hair. She didn't to have to say out loud what she was planning to do. He knew what she was planning to do. She just didn't want to have to say it. Because then it would make things worse than they already was. Tessa then heard him say that he loved her and he didn't know what he would do without her. “ I love you too Afonka.”

“ It is really good that you are back to your normal self.” He then told her that he was going to focus on her right now. “ I don't think it is that easy.”

"Don't cry," Afonka mumbled, "please, you - your making me cry." Pulling away to brush away Tessa's tears, he smiled sadly at her. Watching her cry, he felt like his heart was breaking. Watching her in this much pain - he just couldn't stand it. Unable to hide the grin on his face as she told him he loved her, he cupped her face in his hands, kissing her lips softly.

"Even if it's not easy, I'll be here for as long as it takes. I'm not going anywhere, Tess."

Tessa then looked at Afonka. “ Why didn't you just let me jump? Do you know how much pain I am in. Watching you still affected by Phillie's death. How you weren't yourself because of Feliks. I just can't take it anymore.” Tears where streaming down her face as he kissed her.

“ I just want to end it and everything be over.”

Swallowing hard, his voice caught in his throat, Afonka shook his head, "I - can't let you jump. Never. I love you way too much to ever want you to die, Tess." Pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, he let out a little sob, shaking his head as he continued to rub her tears away. "It'll get better. I swear on my life it will."

Spluttering, Afonka shook his head, "Wha - B - but what about everyone? What about Lena, and - and me, and - and your family - and Ariel? We - I need you. You - you can't die on me."

Tessa just stood there as he was telling her how much he love her. “ Afonka I just want the pain to stop for good. I had to watch you in pain when Phillie died. And how you are scared of Feliks.” Tears where still in her eyes as he pushed back some hair behind her ears. “ How do you know that it will not getting any better?”

She just listened to all the people that would miss her. “ I just am not strong anymore Afonka.”

"But - but I'm better now," he protested softly. "Well, OK, Feliks is never going to change, I know that, but - but I have people in my life who balance that out. No, you do more than balance it out. You make everything better. Every day is brighter because I have you, Tessa. Every day." Nodding, he frowned slightly, "Everything gets better. It always does."

Pulling her closer, he sighed softly, "You're one of the strongest people I know, Tess. You're blind, and that doesn't stop you from doing anything you want to do. If you're not strong, than no one is."

Tessa looked Afonka. “ I don't think I can do it anymore. I don't think I am that strong anymore.” She was about ready to cry again. But Afonka was telling her how she balanced out his life and made everything better. “ Not everything gets better, it always die.”

She then watched as he was holding her close to him. “ I am not that strong Afonka. I just want to give up.”

"You - you can." Afonka stammered out, his voice cracking as he struggled not to cry his out. "I know you can, Tess. You - we'll get through this together. I - I know we can. I'll be here. I won't go anywhere. I'll do whatever it takes." Licking his dry lips, he shook his head slightly, "You'll get better. I - I'll help. I'll do anything."

Swallowing hard, he shook his head, "You - you are though."

Tessa was crying. “ I just don't want to do it alone. I can't do it by myself.” She then listen to him saying that they would get through this together. And that he wasn't going anywhere and would do anything to make sure that she would get better.

“ I am not that strong Afonka.”

"You won't do it alone though," Afonka muttered into her ear, pulling him closer to him. "I'll be here. And - and so will Lena and Ariel and - and everyone. We'll all be here for you."

Swallowing hard to keep himself from breaking down, he stared at Tessa, "I know you are."

Tessa was being told that she wasn't going to be doing this alone. He then pulled her closer and told her that he would be there for her. And Lena would be coming back to school soon. And she always had Ariel.

" But what if I am not strong. What is that is just to help others."

"Listen to me." Afonka pleaded, desperation beginning to creep into his voice. "Just please, listen to me."

Swallowing hard, he shook his head slightly, "You'll get better. And you're the strongest person I know. They're facts. Not just my thoughts. It'll happen. Just - just trust me on this."

Tessa was listening to everything that Afonka was telling here. She was just doing it because she loved him so much.

He was telling her that she was going to get better. And that she was the strongest person that he knew. And this was a fact, not just his opinion. " Ok I do trust you."

"Thank you," Afonka sighed, relief creeping into his voice. She finally - oh sure, he knew it didn't take a few compliments to get back to normal, but it was a start. But she'd agreed with him. And that was promising.

"Just," shaking his head, he held her closer to him, "please don't ever try this again."

Tessa sighed a little bit. She could tell that Afonka was relieved. But she was glad that he was holding her. Telling her that they would get through this together. She knew that she could get through this with Afonka help.

" I won't ever try this again." She knew that she had scared him.

Letting out another relieved sigh, he hugged her again, smiling softly. That was good. A promise that she wouldn't try this again. It was - it was very good.

"Good," he breathed softly, kissing her forehead before pulling away and grinning at her, "very, very good."

Tessa could tell that Afonka was relieved. She then hugged him back and was smiling a little bit. Tessa has just promised him that she wouldn't try to jump again.

He then gave her a kiss on the forehead. Afonka is her world.

He really loved her. He really, really did. He could just spend the rest of his life, standing here with her in his arms. Everything just made sense to Afonka when Tessa was with him. She was perfect. And he - Merlin, just the fact that they were dating made everyday brighter and better for him.

"Do you want to go back inside?" he murmured softly, smiling at her.

Tessa really loved Afonka and she was feeling bad at what she almost did. When she was with him, everything made sense. Everything was brighter cause Afonka was feeling better. And Lena would be coming back.

“ I guess we could go back inside.”