Potential Break Up Song | Fifth

Why did she even bother coming back here?

She slipped into a seat in the middle of the classroom, sighing softly and lying her head on the desk. She was a mental case for being back here again, but...

Well, might as well see what those nightmares meant...

With a halfhearted shrug, Karma rested her chin on her arms and waited for Professor Chaos to come in.

The manner in which Magus was huddled on Sophia's shoulder as she entered the Divination classroom screamed of the woman's anxiety. As did her manner of entering the room. She sucked in a deep, slightly shaky breath before peeking around the door of her office, promptly ducking back again. One student. This was what - her fifth year class? That oughtn't be too bad, then...

Right?

Another calming breath and Sophia had finally made her way into the room, putting on kind - albeit, slightly nerve-strained - smile.

"Good mornin'," she greeted. "I'm Professor Wys - or, uh, I suppose it's... Jist professor is fine, really. An' you would already know that... I'm rambling. Sorry. First time teachin'. I mean, not really, I've been told, but... Oh, Merlin..."

Magus preened her hair, attempting to soothe his mistress, which worked, in part. Everything was so confusing! What had ever possessed her to become a teacher in the first place? She wasn't used to being the center of attention, even if she wasn't exactly shy. If only she could remember...

"Let's jist get right intae th' lesson, shall we?" Sophia suggested. "The lesson plan says Dreams in modern times, so, um..."

What had she even had in mind when she wrote that, apart from the obvious? Her older self was so unprepared! Or at least, could remember what she wanted to bloody teach!

"Well, what questions d'ye have about Dreams, first off? We'll work from there." Sophia smiled again.

She was going to die.

Karma perked up slightly, watching her professor with calculating eyes. "Oh." She said. "You've lost your memory haven't you?" She sighed and plopped her head into her folded arms, groaning. "Can't anyone around here keep anything in their heads?" she groaned. Aria, Evie, Professor Chaos, hell, even herself at times. What the hell was going on around here?

"Sorry, Professor." She muttered. "Suppose you don't remember what I asked you last lesson then?" She pouted. "Whatever."

She sat back upward and ran her hand through her short and admittedly unruly hair, making it stick up in all directions. "I dunno. I mean, is the fortune telling thing for nightmares and dreams different?"

"Well, I didnae fall down a bloody staircase on purpose, now, did I?" Sophia snapped irritably, then blinked.

"Sorry, lass," she sighed. "I reckon th' rumor mill must be runnin' a bit slow, then."

She rested back against the front of her desk, wrapping her arm about herself in a self-hug. "That would be a no, Miss..." Sophia frowned, then shook her head. "I donnae remember yer question.

"Dreams arenae fortune-tellin'. I mean, I suppose, in a very basic sense, in that they can tell the future, it could be called fortune-tellin'. Dreams, however, tell jist as much about th' person havin' then than anethin' else.

"What's this nightmare of yers, then?"

Karma sighed, running her hand through her hair again and keeping her focus on her fingers. "Well, it starts off very simple." She said, the familiar nightmare beginning in her minds eye. "Everything is slightly bigger. I think I'm young. Maybe five, maybe younger. I'm sitting in Grimmauld..." Her voice vanished for a second, but then she was talking again. "G-Grimmauld Place. In the living room. Playing with blocks. Spelling out words. Then, the fireplace flares, and there's a little boy there." She smiled. "He's slightly taller than me, dark hair, blue eyes, and he's just standing in the fireplace, grinning at me, ignoring the fire. He presses his fingers to his lips and runs off to hide behind the couch. Then my... My mom comes in."

She wrapped her arms around herself, looking down at the desk and keeping her eyes on the wood. "She's laughing at something my brother's told her." A small Jet, just like the one from her memory, peeked around their mother's skirts at her with a grin, and she felt tears start to pool in her eyes. Karma pushed them back, acting as if nothing was happening. "And my sisters there with them." A little Aria, blond, blue and brown eyes gleaming, peeked around the other side of her mother's skirts, and grinned.

Then things got darker.

"Suddenly, the couch is on fire." The flames seemed to engulf the the entire room, her mother taking her brother and sister in her arms and backing away. "I ran behind it, I worried about the boy, you see, but he was fine." Blue eyes sparkled and flashed red for the briefest second before his sheepish smile took the small her's attention, and she was smiling back without knowing what she was doing.

"Karma!"

"My mom starts screaming for me. I haven't noticed, but the fire has spread throughout the room, closing around her and my siblings." Jet's wide blue eyes flashed in her minds eye, and she recoiled. "I'm running, trying to get to them, but the boy pulls me back, I'm only safe when touching him. He promises to keep me safe, promises that the fire won't hurt me, but it isn't me I'm worried about."

"Karma!"
"Sis!"
"Babygirl!"

Their voices swirled around her, and she was lost to the fact that she was still in a class room, still at Hogwarts. For the moment, Karma Black was only a frightened five year old.

"There's a crash, and the walls start to cave in, smashing between me and my family. But the boy still won't let go. I'm not safe away from him, he says, but he won't come with me. He won't-" Her voice caught for a moment, then she found it again. She'd come this far, she couldn't stop now. "He won't let me put myself in danger."

"Half fang! Listen to me! You have to stay here!"

"Then..." Her breath hitched, and she didn't notice the wetness on her face until it was too late. "Then it all just..." Her voice shrunk, small and timid. "Fell." Her voice is barely a whisper now, and she belatedly realized that throughout her tale she'd shrunk back into her chair, bringing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. "And then I wake up."

"Mama!" The little her screamed. "Mama! Where have you gone?"

"They're gone, Karma!"

"No they aren't!"

"They're GONE, Karma! They aren't coming back!"

"What do you know? They're right there!! If I can just-"

And then the young boy from her dream was hugging her, and she woke up crying. Every time.

Sophia moved from the from the front of the room, to sit atop the girl's desk. She reached out a hand to gently stroke the girl's hair.

"A lot of times, our dreams speak of our fears or that which troubles us th' most," Sophia spoke softly. "Our subconscious is far more honest with us. Brutally so."

Karma leaned slightly into the woman's touch, closing her eyes against the tears begging to be freed. "I want it to stop." She whispered. "I just- I don't want-" Her voice cut off, and she bowed her head into he knees, not wanting to face what she was thinking- what she was about to say.

"I don't want to be alone anymore." She whimpered. "Not anymore."

"Ah, lassie," Sophia said, soothingly stroking the girl's hair. "Surely, ye arenae all alone? Ye've friends or-or... surely, ye've someone?" Her own feelings churned in empathy, her own confusion and muddled emotions somehow amplified by the girl's longing. The girl didn't want to be alone; Sophia wanted the remember the years she had somehow lost.

"Come, now. Dunnae cry, hmm? I think I will cry, too, if ye do."

"I don't cry." she mumbled, wiping away the tears that threatened to fall. "So... So you won't either." She looked up at the woman, watery brown eyes wide and trusting. Was it possible that she- well, maybe she felt... better? Worse, due to ripping open the wound that had appeared every night, but it was almost like it was... starting to heal.

Scabbing, at least.

She offered the woman a timid smile, hesitant now that one of her fears, one of her weaknesses was on display. She wanted to up and run now. This woman would- would take it straight to the Headmaster for his diabolical planning, for his endless taunting.

But looking at the woman now... she didn't have it in her not to trust her. It could have been the kindness - so vacant in almost everyone else she came across - or the gentleness. Maybe it was even her recognizing the feeling of comfort that only came with one title.

Mother.

Either way... she didn't think the woman would ridicule her for her weakness, nor run to the Headmaster with it.

For one of the first times since she had learned the words, they came completely sincere.

"Thank you."