Famous Last Words

Kallie fiddled with the edge of her Navy blue skirt as she walked quitely towards the door she had visited so many times in her life, and had spent the last week or more completely avoiding. In fact she had spent most of her time completely avoiding everyone. She had left the Kitchen and allowed herself only the time it took herself to bring back her control, to stop her sobbing, before going back to the library to study again. She had barely left, spending most nights falling alseep on top of her notes. The only reason she hadn't sent herself into hypoglycemia shock were the bundles of food that turned up when she seemed not to be looking. SHe knew where they were coming from. She just tried not to think about it.

In fact she'd still be in the librarh at the present moment if it hadn't been for her wand. She had forgotten about, it barely thought about using it until a little over a day ago. She had gone to reach for it, only to find it wasn't there. The young girl had a minor panic attack looking all over for it, before she remember the last time she saw it with a start. She could see it perfectly sitting on her little desk in the back of the library, and then just as clear she could see a hand pick it up and stuff it into a pocket.

Brock had taken her wand before he...

She had procrastinated it for another day, dreading doing it, but finally admitted that she had to get her wand back. She simply could not live without a wand. She had spells to practice, and NEWTs were coming. She couldn't get one before then, and she certainly couldn't get use to the way it worked before that time, even if she did manage to get one quickly.

No she needed her wand.

She continued to fiddle with her skirt even as she approached the stairway that lead up to his dorm. She knew she looked good - she wouldn't admit it, but she had spent hours making sure she did. Her Navy skirt was perfectly pressed, the white blouse was clean and sharp, and she had laboured over just how many buttons to do up, finally deciding that she could get away with leaving the last two undone and still appear presentable. Her long hair, had been cleaned, and brushed, and tied tightly into a bun at the top of her head, a tendral however had slipped out as it always did, and was hanging around the side of her face.

Kallie Nikkala looked perfectly presentable, as she always did when she was close to falling apart on the inside.

She hesitated for a moment, at the bottom of the first step, a frown appearing on her face. She didn't really need to do this. Maybe she could just-just...

No. She was going to do this. She squared her shoulders and took a step up the stair. Once the first one was pushed out of the way, it was nearly so hard to make it through the others.

What was difficult however, was to get pass the... was that a line? of girls...

She frowned again as she wedged past the first few, no apparent problems. What the hell was going on here? What were all these-

"Hey! No cutting!" Kallie paused in her treck, to stop and turn towards the whiny voice that had come up. Her brown gaze locked on a small girl, Third year at most, probably second, and trying way to hard to appear older.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. No. Cutting. I've been here for-" however long she had been there was cut off by another girl, this one older, probably closer to Kallie's own age, spoke up.

"Hey! I know you- you're the one that dumped him." This started up a stir among the girls as they all cooed amongts themselves, but Kallie wasn't listening. She was still dwelling on the words she had just heard. And what they meant.

Dumped him.

Brock.

She glanced back up the stairway, ignoring the painful clench in her chest, before her attention was drawn back towards the girls around her.

"What are you doing here anyways," the young one spoke up again. "You had like... what three years, why don't you give someone else a chance."

Kallie froze for a moment, before her gaze darkened and she let out a snort. Something very ... broken and bitter was bubbling up in her.

"Oh, like you? Do you really think you have a chance? Do any of you really think you have a chance," she turned her glare from the young one, to the others, all completely silent now. "Trust me when I say this - you'll get eight minutes.. if you're lucky. There is no way any of you litt-"

"Ladies, ladies, ladies - lets all keep calm; there's enough Veni for everyone if we'll all just calm down. Now, Miss, if you'll just let me take your name we'll all just-"

Kallie straighted at the familar voice, and turned towards the boy with a clipboard with a bitter little smile. "Do you really need my name, Zino? I'm wounded I am forgotten so easily."

"Nikki," the boy had the decency to look a tad bit sheepish about the situation. Or at least at finding her there, "This isn't- he-"

"I don't care what he does- I do hope though, I get the friends and family discount and get to caught the line. Its rather urgent." Her tone was clipped, and short, as it always was when she was upset. She didn't even bother to wait for Zinoviy to get over his sputtering and tell her the answer. She merely pushed her way past everyone in front of her, and into the room.

"Time's up," she grumbled at the red haired girl presently in the room. "Move it, before I make you move."




outfit

The words were simple. Easy to understand. Russian. They should have been making sense. The fact was, Brock just wasn't interested in anything the girl had to say.

She was a redhead. Before her had been a blond, two brunettes, one French girl, six more blonds and the black-haired girl they'd started with. Brock barely remembered anything other than their hair color, and the annoying pitch of their voices as they attempted to simper and coo their way into his heart.

He couldn't even bring himself to appreciate their bodies.

It had been exactly two weeks, fourteen days, six hours, thirty two minutes and fifty three seconds since he'd seen her last. And that was what he kept coming back to. Kallie. Left him.

"Veni?" The redhead purred, placing her hand on his knee. Slowly, he glanced up at her, his eyes flashing amber and a snarl ripping from his lips. The girl jumped back, a slight shriek of fear ripping from her throat before she was running for the exit.

Brock sighed as the door closed behind her, his eyes going back to the table they'd forced him to sit at, feeling foolish and just wanting to sleep. He closed his eyes at the sound of her voice, sure he was just imagining it again. There had been multiple times over the last fortnight when he'd been sure he'd heard her voice, sure she was talking to him, but it had always been some other random girl, a whisper, a creak in the castle. Never actually...

He still looked up hopefully, and this time, he was blindsided by her.

Kallie.

Kallie froze where she was; completely frozen, not a a muscle moved, she even forgot to breath. Her usually pale complexion managed to pale even farther as she looked at him. ONce more she was ingoring the awful pain that was twisting, burning festering in her chest.

How had she thought she'd be able to do this? She had never been naive enough to think that coming in here for her wand and then leaving without-without- was going to be easy but now that she was standing there, looking at him.

She felt like it might be impossible.

The girl swayed on her feet for a moment, almost feeling like she was going to faint, something she usually only did cause she ignored one too many warning signs, after previously ignoring one too many meals.

She managed to take one half jagged breath, and regain a bit of her composure.

"Y-you took my wand."

Brock continued to watch her, his heart doing some odd kind of flutter jump step thing in his chest before he blinked and looked down at the table again. Of course. She wasn't here to come back. She forgot something on her way out.

The boy visibly deflated and nodded, standing and moving to his wardrobe. He hadn't even noticed her wand over the burn from the-

He pulled her wand out of the pocket of his pants, his eyes on the ground to avoid the glare from the other pocket. Slowly, he made his way back over to her and held it out, his entire person submissive - more submissive than he'd ever been in his entire life.

A soft whimper was the only sound he made, and when he heard it, he recoiled.

He'd yet to look up from the ground.

Kallie looked at the wand, staring at it, but she couldn't reach out and take it. If she took it then her excuse for being here would be gone, and then...

Then she'd have to leave.

And she wasn't sure she could make herself do that. She had done it once, and she wasn't entirely sure how that had happened.

"Brock..." she trailed off as she looked at him. He looked like... like... a puppy that someone had kicked. Broken... willing to do anything for attention...

For love.

She tried to push the thought away that she'd done this - that she...

"I-I..." she took a deep breath, shook her head and tried again, "I-I..."

Brock hated himself for it. For pushing her away. For the hope that filled him when she said his name. For the unabashed rush of affection that coursed through him as she tried to talk, and the rush of hurt and abandonment that followed directly after. Of all the people who'd pushed him aside, of all the people who had told him he'd amount to nothing, here stood the only one who hadn't.

And she was leaving too.

He peeked up at her, trying and failing to not to convey his emotions through his eyes. He could... could...

Couldn't.

He looked back down at the ground. "Yes, Kallie?" He choked, wondering where the hell the strength in his voice had gone. He sounded like a bloody first year!

She reached out a hand, finally accepting that she wasn't going to be able to speak, not without losing control, not without falling apart.

Not without falling back to him.

Why did it matter so much that she didn't? So- so what? He couldn't say the words she needed to hear. It wasn't such a big deal was it? He could just be- there's no reason that he...

Her hand shook and stalled on its own. She still couldn't grab the object. Could not physically bring herself to do it. She could not leave without...

It was funny how her own name could feel like a slap. He... he barely ever called her Kallie, he always used Nikki or-or...

"I want... no," she shook her head, and frowned some more, "I need you to.... to understand something."

Brock froze, resisting the urge to close the distance between them and just- just- just-

He licked his lips slowly, keeping his eyes on the ground. Why wouldn't she just take the wand and go? If she wanted to go- if she wanted to abandon him like everyone else - why wouldn't she just get it over with?

His eyes flashed amber as he looked up at her again, a slight snarl flitting over his face. Must this torture continue? His inner wolf was taking so much comfort in her scent - her presence, her appearance, her proximity - that he was dreading her leaving already. He just wanted it over with.

Like a bandaid.

"What?" he growled. "What could possibly make you leaving better?" He thrust the wand at her, turning on his heel and moving further into the room to come to a stop at the window beside his bed.

"Well?" He barked.

She wanted to walk after him, comfort him but...

That would only make things worse - or she wouldn't leave at all.

And she wasn't entirely sure how that would make things.

"Nothing," she swallowed hard, trying to keep the quiver out of her voice. She wasn't going to start crying again. There was no use crying over spilt milk - Kallie had always believed it - and there was certainly no point in crying when you were the one that knocked the carton over in the first place.

She picked up the wand and held it losely in her fingers.

"Nothing at all. I'm being entirely selfish imposing on you like this; I'm being petty, and selfish, and cruel."

"I love you. I do; I always have.... probably always will. I don't lie when I say it Pentu - even when I stalk off, act like I hate you, or whatever ridiculous things I do - I'm still yours," she could stop the quiver in her voice now; her words nearly garbled with the lump that was in her throat, "And I know saying this isn't making anything better for you - its probably making it all the worse. I'm just doing it to make myself feel better, to know that I-I- "

"I'm still going to be the narttu who said all that and left. You probably hate me... you probably should hate me but..." she swallowed hard, and wiped the back of her face with her hand, "I just can't wait any more Brock... I need; I need... you know me - I need organization, straight answers, order.... control; I need control, and I just can't-can't..."

She was going to lose it completely. There was no point in her staying, if she stayed she'd just... just...

She took a half step backwards, unwilling to turn around just yet, only to loose her footing on something on the ground, her ankle twisting over on itself rather painfully and landiing gracelessly on the ground.

Brock resisted the urge to wince at that word - the word he'd choked out too late - and let her talk, her speech waning on his already fragile self control. God, couldn't he- couldn't he just- spit it out? Just say it? He'd already said it. He only needed... needed...

His eyes flickered to his wardrobe, and he almost...

His was at her side and lowering her gently to the ground the instant he heard her stumble, and he hated himself for that too. "You've gone and twisted something, haven't you?" He chastised, as easily as if she hadn't just been talking about leaving him. His eyes went down to her ankle, and his eyebrows furrowed in concern. "Will you stop hurting yourself for five minutes?"

And before he'd realized what he was doing, he was kissing her.

Kallie's gaze flicked up to him, her heart doing some painful sort of dance of excitment before stopping suddenly as she reminded herself that this- this wasn't what she was supposed to be doing. She was supposed to have left. And yet....

Her she sat.. more or less in his arms.

"No," she lied softly, taking great amounts of effort to advert her gaze. Maybe if she didn't look at him then she'd be able to... "I didn't do... Its fine. Its just-"

She let out a little squeak of surprise as she froze and found his lips against hers.

No, no no... this was, was wrong. She needed to- needed to leave, to take control... kee control. And to keep control she needed to get up, push him away.

She needed to leave.

So why was she kissing him back?

"Don't you get it?" she muttered softly pulling away, it barely even counted, she could still feel him against her... but at least their lips were no longer connected, "I'm always hurting myself. I'm always just so-so-so-" lost. Confused. Broken.

He took entirely too long to pull away from that kiss. Entirely too long for... anything. He just-

"You need to get to the hospital wing." He said softly, his eyes going to the door, contemplating it. Why did the boys have to have every able bodied girl out there? He didn't want to have to pass all of them, he didn't want to have to face all of their praise and love. Why did no one ever believe that?

He looked back down at her, something simmering in his eyes, regret. Already. He hadn't even done it yet. Then he was up and away from her, banging on his door. Zino appeared almost magically, and it was clear that the other boy had been eavesdropping. Of all of them, Zino was the only one that knew of- of the thing in the wardrobe. He was the only one who ever really listened to Brock when he said something, the only one who had been against this stupid idea in the first place.

"Take her to the hospital wing." He said, scooping Kallie easily into his arms and handing her off to the other boy. Zino took her easily, his eyes on Brock's expression. "Make sure she stays there until she's healed."

"Brock-"

"It's Veni." He snapped, ushering Zino through the door and onto the landing outside. He gave a charming smile to the ladies in line, the falseness of it hidden so expertly that only those who really knew him would see it. "Ezi!" He called down the line, hiding a slight grimace as the other boy popped up from further down the steps. Zino flinched, obviously seeing what was coming, he looked down at Kallie, his facial expression attempting to convey his apology for- for everything that had happen, and everything that would happen next.

"What is it, Veni?" The boy called, stopping a few steps below the three of them.

"What's with this delay, Ez? Let's get this line moving!" He would not look at Kallie. He would not look at Kallie. He would not- "NEXT!" Turning from all of them, he moved back into his room, wincing at the cheers from the crowd of women. For the split second between him hitting the door to begin its swing shut and it actually closing him off from the world, he melted, his shoulders hunching, head hanging in sorrow. It was quite obvious from that half second that Brock Veni Cox was not what he had just been, and he didn't like being that either.

Then the door closed behind him, the sound ringing with finality.

"Brock," she shook her head. She didn't need a healer. She needed- she needed- "Brock." She didn't like being carried under normal cercumstances, she felt so...

She didn't like the lack of control over where she was going. He knew that too... of course he always ignored it anyways. Of course it helped even less to be handed over to someone that wasn't Brock. Even if it was just Zino.

"No- Brock- Zino," she squirmed slightly, "Put me down." Her eyes flitted between the two of them, wide for a moment with panic, and then narrowing quickly with suspicion.

And then she was on the landing and it was blur of noises and faces. The only one of which she truly focused on was Brock's grin at-at-at...

Sure there was somethign wrong with it, part of her brain awknowledged that, but the rest of her was to vulnerable to see anything else but...

Then she was squirming all the more violently. Anyone else less commited would have dropped her on her but already.

"Put me down! Put me down! Put me down!" she only stopped kicking the boy because the way it jostled her ankle was become almost more unbaralbe than the pain in her chest. "Zinoviy - I swear to -" she practically growled and flailed some more "Päästä minut alas!!!"

They were out in the hall by now; she calmed down slightly once they were past all the girls but she didn't stop. She couldn't stop cause if she focused on anything else...

"I'm sorry," Zino muttered, taking the brunt of her attack with little more than a tightened grip on her.

"If you were sorry you'd put me down," she muttered, most of the fight having already gone out of her.

"Kallie-"

"Just take me to the Infermary Zino, and don't-" she swallowed suddenly, biting her lip for a moment. "You'll just make it worse."

They continued in silence that seemed to take over every hall that they passed; the few people they walked past, ghost and human alike, seemed to back out of their way. Was there no one that hadn't heard of something-?

As soon as she was set on a bed, the girl immediately had her knees pulled into her chest, making herself as small as possible.

"Just go Zino."

"But he said-"

"Just. Go."

"Kallie-"

She stuck her ankle out, it was already a dark purple hue and twice the size it normally was, "Does it look like I'm getting anywhere on that? I can't- I can't- Not with- Please, just go."

The boy took one long look at her, and then nodded his head slightly. She didn't see any of this. She didn't see him quietly leave either.

She just continued to sit there, staring straight ahead, refusing to cry.