Lost in the Storm

Eli stormed down the hallway towards the Auror offices, Brock's skinny secretary scurrying after him. She arrived just a few hours ago to tell him, after he had stayed up all night waiting for Kallie to come home. It wasn't unusual for her to stay at work late, but this time he had a feeling that something was wrong. Of course, he had never expected to be right.

His hair was a mess, and his eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep, but he didn't feel at all tired. All he felt was an odd numbness. A numbness that he felt slowly transforming itself into blind rage.

"Is Brock in his office?" His voice quivered with barely-contained rage, and the girl stared at him in fear and confusion,

"Mr. Patterson-"

"Is he here." His clipped words clearly defined his impatience, and she paused her running for a moment, trying to understand what had caused such a sudden change in the man, when just yesterday he seemed as polite and normal as ever. The woman had barely caught back up to him when Eli burst into the Head Auror's office.

"Tell me it's not true." He clenched his teeth against the words, trying to keep himself from shouting, or the tears from coming into his eyes, "Tell me this is some sort of sick joke and that she's okay. Brock say she's okay... SAY IT!"

Brock stood with his back to the doorway, his arms behind his back as he contemplated a detailed map of the UK and surrounding countries. His bar had been shoved to the side to make use of the wallspace, different colored chords of string connecting from one place to the other. Every few moments, the fireplace in the adjacent wall would flash green, long enough to let loose a string of seemingly random numbers, letters, and code words, after which Brock added another thumb tack and frowned.

The walkie-talkie at his hip came to life with an excited chatter, and he nodded, connecting strings and frowning further at the map. "Zeta. Move on to Region 25."

The feedback buzzed, and the almost familiar voice of one of his wolves came over. "But there's still places-"

"Omega will double check."

"Rodger."

There was a short silence in which the phone at his hip chirped, another voice coming over. Quickly, the man moved to stab a thumb tack, easily sliding a string from it and connecting it to another. Stepping back to examine the odd shapes and crosses, double crosses, and triple crosses the string made over the cities and borders. He continued gazing as the door slammed open, reaching for a small glass beside him on his desk, taking a small sip of the clear substance - ice water, nothing more, nothing less - he looked over his shoulder, realizing that Eli was there before the fireplace flashed again, and he was back to plotting.

"Stop being so loud. I'm trying to hear." Cocking his head to the side as the radio cracked at his hip, and he was plotting again. "Phi Three, take the north east. Zeta two, the east." Nodding at this order, he clipped the walkie back to his hip and moved back to examine it again. They were missing something.... something huge....

Maybe... Eli would see it?

"Stop yelling at me. I'm not a dog." He scowled at the man behind him before waving a hand at the map. "Do you see anything?"

Eli gaped at the set up in front of him, his eyes going from the fireplace, to the map, to Brock, and back again. This could only mean one thing: he hadn't found her either.

He took a couple of steps back, shaking his head and muttering incoherently to himself.

So that was it then, wasn't it? She was really gone. Stolen away and hidden where no one could find her. But they'd find her anyway... wouldn't they? They had to. What else could happen? They... they just had to.

His eyes continued to stare blankly at the map, and he gave a hollow laugh as he did so. "You are a dog..." He muttered to himself, a vacant smile on his face.

It slowly faded away as he sat down on the floor, arms resting on his knees. His eyes drifted down from the map until he was staring at the floor, an mask of horror painting his features.

The man's mind sort of shut off at that point, so thoughts could no longer plague him. Instead, his head was just a stagnant sea of emotion.

As still and as sad as he was.

"I'm a wolf, not a hound." Brock said, his voice even as he looked over the map. In the lag of incoming information, the man turned and looked down back at Eli, his mouth falling into a thin line.

"Get up." His voice was annoyed as he turned from the other man to tie a string from one tack to another. This one was bright red, hopeful, almost a lead. "You lying on the floor feeling sorry for yourself is not helping me find her. Either get up and help or get out of the way."

Eli continued staring at the floor. Brock's words sent thoughts flying through his head. Thoughts that were resurfacing after years and years of holding them down.

They took everyone. His parents, Elaine, and now they took Kallie. Everything he was had been stolen from right under his nose.

But Kallie... she didn't deserve that. He should never have so much as talked to her when she first entered that bar years ago. He should have just served her what she wanted and left. Everything he touched was cursed.

His eyes strayed back up to the large map on the wall, "She would have been happy to see this, Brock. Happy that you're looking for her, that you're trying."

"And just thrilled to see you on the floor like you've just suffered the death of a pet, I'm sure." His voice was harsh, the Russian accent thickening for a moment before he scowled. "You are doing nothing for her there on the floor. Get up like a man or leave." Glancing back at him, he turned back to the map, adding more string as more reports came through. "I don't have time to baby you right now, Patterson. You should understand that."

"You don't understand," Eli said as he stood up, looking tired and defeated. "She's gone Brock."

"She's not coming back." All those defenses he had put up, to keep this stuff from coming back up and latching onto him again... they were gone. It was like someone had torn off his skin and let him just fall apart. "They don't come back. And-"

"And even if they do, they're different." Tears began welling in his eyes, "You still love them with every fiber of your being... but they look at you like you're a monster."

"And it hurts. It hurts like nothing else."

He couldn't do that... not again. To imagine Kallie- his Kallie- to look at him the way Lainey did, or to have to wait twelve years for her, not knowing if she was alive or dead, or God knows what else.

Then there would be the distance between them, that uncrossable gap that made the most familiar people total strangers...

It would kill him all over again.

It started as a slight clench in his jaw, his hands curling into fists as he tried to maintain his temper. He needed to- Just-

In the blink of an eye, he was holding the other man up threateningly, fists clenched into his shirt collar. "Don't. You. Dare. Jinx. Her." He shook the man roughly, showing just how easily he could toss the other Auror around like a rag doll - even snap him in half - should he so wish to. "She needs us to believe in her, not abandon her for some fanta-"

His eyes narrowed dangerously, and a low growl was suddenly the only sound in the room. "What do you know of seen as a monster?" He demanded. "What do you know of anything?!" Shoving the man away from him, he snarled, looking the most animalistic he ever had in anyone's presence but his pack's.

"You don't deserve her." He growled, turning his back on the disgrace of a man. "You had her and you lost her, you don't deserve to get her back. Especially if you won't even look for her. She's only been gone a day, and you've already lost hope." He shook his head, gazing up at the map.

"No wonder you're seen as a monster. You are one."

Eli hung limp in Brock's arms, staring almost lifelessly ahead of him. So what if he was about to be beaten to a pulp. It wasn't worth trying to fight back. It wasn't worth-

"Abandon her?" He whispered, mostly to himself. He didn't think of it like that at all. Maybe he was wrong, maybe they did need to go find her, even if chances were that-

"What," A fire flashed in the man's eyes. What did he know? Brock had no idea, no right to pretend to know the pain he had felt since he was too young to know what pain even was.

The filthy, ungrateful, ignorant-

"You're wrong." Eli glared at him, teeth clenched, hands balled up into fists, blood boiling, so furious he could barely breathe. He couldn't think, could hardly even feel anything except a white-hot rage. Without any warning, he bolted toward him, screaming,

"You're WRONG!!!!" Eli swung his fist straight towards the other man's face, with all the power he had.