Wide awake with a long time phobia

She sat up straight, her heart beating like a cheater running. No way was that dream real. Her mother was that good witj long distance legilemency. Her long hair drapped over her face as she buried her head within her hands. She didn't feel so good, not good at all. Alexa moved out of bed, slightly shakening as she stood up. Her eyes widened as there was blood on her pillow. She just ignored it.

Her head hurt like crazy and she wished she could get some sleep at least. Oh how she wished her mother was dead. No more worring. She slowly made her way out of one of the many bedrooms in Emerald Castle. "Might aswell go make a wide awake potion." She muttered as she started to walk down the hall way, opening Zephan's bedroom door to check on him. She smiled at his sleeping form and shut his door quietly.

She started to go towards Ciar's bedroom when she felt something flowing down her cheek from her eyes. She lifted her hand and wiped it away and noticed it was blood. It started to come from her nose and a sudden sharpe pain came into her head. She whimpered loudly and before she knew it, she collapsed on the floor. Blacking out with blood flowing onto the wooden floors.

Looking up momentarily from her text on Runes and their uses in spell casting and warding Ciar listened carefully. She had thought she heard a door close. Going back to her studying the girl thought nothing of it. It was just Thorpe making her rounds. She would have checked on Zephie and would be in to tell her to close the books and put the light out for bed.

The teen waited for the door to open and the familiar voice to address her but it never came and instead a resounding thud came from the hallway. Jumping out of her chair quickly Ciar crossed her room with bounding strides and threw open the door.

No.

It was like her worst nightmare come to life minus Zephie in a similar position. There was just so much blood and she couldn't tell where all it was coming from. Dropping to her knees next to Thorpe's body Ciar willed herself to remain her composure and not to break down. She had to fix this. There had to be someway to fix this.

"Don't you dare leave me," she forced out, trying to keep the tears at bay as she conjured a cloth with her wand, wiping away the blood from Thorpe's face. "You promised. Please, Momma, you promised."

Ciar couldn't help the tears that tickled down her cheeks to land on her guardian's forehead. Her and Zephan couldn't be left alone. Not again.

Something clicked inside her head. She felt that her Occlumency wall was being attacked. Long distance legilimency was dangerous, only family members could do it to each ither through wave lenghts or blood, or something that they have owned. Aleax pushed the attacker away, notcing the hundreds of ravens danced about trying to make another attack.

That was indeed her mothers trademark.

Her Occlumency shield was a element and part of her animagus form. The raven started to drown as she let a wall of water push them out. She felt her body shake in a spasm. She gasped, suddenly coming back to reality. She felt a cloth, wiping her face. Her green eye's suddenly opened, looking at Ciar. She lifted her hand, placing it on the girls cheek. Wipping the girls tears away as she smiled sadly. The blood stooped flowing from her eyes, mouth and nose. She felt something more watery on her forehead, notice it was Ciar's tears.

"Hey there. Ciar, everything is going to be ok. I promised you I wouldn't leave you and Zephan behind. It was just my mental state whoch was attacked." Alexa said to the girl as she whispered a spell to get rid of all the blood. She sat up slowly, bringing the girl to her and wrapping her arms tightly around Ciar's shaking form.

A small sob burst from her throat as they hand touched her cheek and wiped away the tears. Why was she losing her head over this. It shouldn't affect her but it did. Whelan's didn't get emotional. It just wasn't done and yet Ciar had lost hold of her emotions more times than she could count.

"It's never okay. The world is so screwed up that nothing is ever okay." Her voice sounded broken as she huddled against her guardians chest. "It's just too much. I don't feel safe anywhere I go. It's like I'm constantly checking over my shoulder while trying to ensure nothing goes after you and Zephie. I feel broken when I should be whole. Weak when I should be strong. I'm tired of trying to be two separate people."

"Ciar, it's not your priority to keep me safe child. It's my priority to keep you and Zephan safe. I love the fact that you look out for me Ciar. But this isn't the first that this," Alexa paused as she waved her hand at the situation that just happened. "Has happened. Life in never easy. It has is light and dark moments, always." Alexa said quietly to the girl as she brought the girl up to stand on her feet.

Alexa got hold of the Ciar's hand and took her to the girls own bedroom. Alexa folded the girls bed covers back. "Get in," Alexa muttered softly and watched as the girl slowly got in. Alexa knew she was a tad bit old to be getting tooked in, but Alexa needed to do this. She brought the covers over the girl and moved to sit on the other side of the bed as she layed down besides the girl. She started to stroke the girls head as she started to speak.

"I want to help you heal again Ciar and I don't want you to feel like your separating your emotions either. Don't battle them. I don't want you to think that your broken, because your a very strong young woman, Ciar and I am very proud of you." Alexa said softly.

"It shouldn't happen," the girl whispered as they both stood. She followed Thorpe to her own bedroom, the fire in the hearth bathing the room with a soothing light, illuminating the queen size four poster bed with its emerald green hangings and its forest green quilt with gold stitching.

Climbing into bed at her guardian's request she did a switching charm on her robes and switched them with a pair of gold and black pyjamas from her closet. Snuggling under the covers as she was tucked in Ciar turned her thoughts to the wards. No matter who it was the wards should have kept out any mental attacks. She was going to have to dig deeper into this problem to try and ensure it didn't happen again.

Unconsciously moving closer to the woman's warm body the teen stayed silent, absorbing and trying to keep herself under control. "I am two different people and I can't show my emotions as one of them. If I show emotion while I'm doing business or attending to my Head duties it will be seen as a weakness and it could potential blind me and put us all at risk." Her gaze rose and met Thorpe's eyes. "I am your daughter in all but blood, but I am also the Head of two Ancient and Noble Houses. How can I not battle myself? I have been broken a long time. It's just that nobody has cared enough to try and help me put the pieces back together before."

"You are my strength. You are my greatest weakness," she whispered in Gaelic as she snuggled closer, her head resting against the woman's shoulder. "Tá tú mo mháthair agus grá agam duit."



(OOC- Yes, I did that last sentence like that on purpose. )

"My dear Ciar, I want to put your broken pieces back together, child. I want to help you heel. It will take time, but I want you to be whole again one day." Alexa noticed the girl came closer, and she smiled. "Your weaknesses are safe with me, always." Alexa sighed and looked into the girls eyes, telling her that she wished she could magic all the bad from the girls life.

Her green eyes started to glisten as she heard what the girl said in Irish, understanding that it was finally nice to hear that from the girl. Alexa kissed the girls forehead and hugged her. "I'm am so glad that I have got to hear you say that Ciar. Jeg elsker også dig, og jeg er så glad for at jeg har dig som min datter, barn." Alexa said in her native tongue, wondering if the girl knew it.

(OOC: Luck of the Irish ey?)

Slipping her arms out from under the covers Ciar thought for a few minutes, translating the words in her head. Ever since she had accepted the woman had no other agenda then their well being both she and Zephan had studied up on any possible languages their mother might know and attempted to learn them. Mostly in an effort for her to be proud of them.

"I like being your daughter. It took some time, but I realized you're one of the few adults that really cares." She wrapped her arms tentatively around Thorpe's waist and snuggled against her, suddenly quite sleepy. "Stay with me until I fall asleep," she murmured, grey eyes closing as the door slowly swung open.

Alexa's eyes widened and a smile slipped onto her lips yet again. "Well looks like someone has been learning, haven't they? Well done though, my native tongue is very hard to learn with all the symbols. I'm very Proud of you child, but you didn't have to do it." Alexa said softly as the girl snuggled into her.

"I will always care for you and Zephan, even if we have out fights, like the sort of one we had in lesson at the beginning of the school year. Nothing will ever get between us, nothing." Alexa solomly sweared as she closed her green eyes. "Of course I'll stay, Ciar." Alexa whispered to the girl as she stroked Ciar's hair again as she watched the girl close her eyes.

Alexa's hearing picked up light foot steps, stoping at Ciar's door. Her green eyes watched as the door swung open slowly. "Look like we have a visitor," Alexa said with a small chuckle as she saw the boy peep in. "Come and join us Zephan."

Rolling over with a groan after the door was closed Zephan found himself in the throes of a nightmare. A nightmare in which no matter how desperately called his mother's name and tried to wake her she wouldn't wake up and pull him into her arms. He awoke with a start, his breathing coming in ragged breaths and a sheen of sweat glistening on his forehead.

Climbing out of his bed when he heard voices next door in his sister's room he grabbed his stuffed griffen and plodded out of the room.

Pushing open Ciar's door he stood there in his Ironman pyjamas for a moment looking at his mother and sister on the bed. "Momma," he said quietly. "I had a nightmare." With one of the Great Danes trailing behind him he went around to the side of the bed opposite Ciar and crawled up onto the huge four poster with help from the dog before it went and flopped itself down in front of the fire on the gold and silver rug.

Zephan snuggled up to Thorpe and laid his head on her chest. "Can I sleep with you and Cici tonight?"

Alexa's eyes softened and a smile sadened. Sh sat up sadly and summoned Zephan with her arms. "I think Ciar wouldn't mind us sharing her bed for now, lil man." Alexa said quietly as she watched him get up onto the bed, also watching the dog go over to the fire. She made her self more relaxed and used a quick spell to cover Zephan with a blanket.

Her free hand made its way around the smaller boys body to stroke his hair. "You want to talk about it, Zephan?" Alexa whispered, her green eyes looking at the boy. She kissed his forehead and felt him relax. "Your safe, both of you are. Never forget that now."

"You wouldn't wake up," he whispered. "I tried and tried but I couldn't make you wake up and you left me and Cici alone. I was really scared, Momma." He leaned into the kiss and took his sleeping sister's hand resting the joined hands on their mother's stomach.

"I know we're safe but you won't be around forever and that scares me. I don't think either me or Cici wanna lose you." Zephan tucked his griffen closer to his chest and cuddled closer. "I want you to stay with us always."

"Oh Zephan, I will always be with you both. A certain potion can always help me live for a bit longer when I am way old. Anyway, when your older, I should be the one to worry that you might not need me anymore. You will make your own path way into the world." Alexa said quietly to him. Her hand rubbed his back in soothing circles.

"Anyway, no doubt I will be still teaching at Durmstrang when you come up, you better be in my house little man. Ciar will disagree that Hitrost is the best house." Alexa gave a low chuckle as she smirked at both of them.

"I might have to give you your christmas present tomorrow. I think the present can't wait any longer, Zephan." Alexa said as she heard a hiss and something slither on the end of the bed.

Master, you ok? Fade hissed.

Never better, Fade. Alexa hissed softly to her snake.

"Cici wouldn't survive in Hitrost, Momma," Zephan answered squeezing his sister's hand slightly. "She's a warrior. One day I will be too. Cici says so." He looked up with an innocent look in his eyes. "You believe that too, right, Momma?"

He smiled at the snake and spread the blanket he was covered in over Thorpe's body, trying to include the snake too. "Stay and sleep with us. It would make me feel better than any present could. Fade can stay too and Marcus will protect us while we sleeping. I's always gonna need my mommy. Always." He closed his eyes and cuddled closer.