For what has been done, cannot be undone

Kait took in a deep breath as she stood in front of the ministers door. She hasn't spoke to her since the minister had been kidnapped- which made the Ex-Hrabrost nervous. Kait liked Kallie a lot- and the woman was the only adult figure in her life. Kait made professors wary, so they never really tried to connect to her. And she bore no connection to the headmaster-only talking to him when she was younger, for getting in trouble. All the issues with repeating a year was dealt with her head of house.

Well, are you going to knock or what? Lilith sleepily mumbled, hiding in the left sleeve of her pureblood robes. Gray Moon was back at Port Durmstrang, hunting. Kait rolled her eyes at the baby snake and knocked once.

Kallie looked up sharply from the papers on her desk. She had in fact known for some time that someone was hovering outside of her door. Enough people of suspicious nature had barged passed that it had been thought that it was definitely time for more wards around the office. Kallie herself had put most of them in place.

She was keep her growing nerves - her wedding was only a few short days away - at bay by doing what she did best: work instead. It was remarkable how easily she was able to hide any emotion behind that need to get things done.

And as the minister of magic, there was always things to be done.

"Come in."

She opened the door, and saw the minister doing some papers. Kait gave a small smile. While most people wasn't just suited for the stressful job, Kait personally thought Kallie was perfect. She was able to do the job without complaints- and sometimes, even enjoyed it which blowed the ex-Hrabrost's mind.

"How did I know that you were going to be doing work?" She questioned, laughing a little. "You always surprised me how much you enjoyed being an minister. I personally would hate it. The politics and work is a bit too much for me."

Kallie looked up at the sound of the voice, surprise thought she felt it, never crossed her face. Glancing over at her for a moment, she set aside her quill, and smiled warmly.

"Kaitlen," she spoke softly, leaning back in her chair, "I trust that you've gotten along, where ever you decided it best to go?"

Looking at her work she gave a soft laugh, "Not many would; its one of the one things that allows me to feel special I suppose." It was a round about answer, to be sure, but it was all that the girl was going to get. There were so many reasons for why Kallie had ended up where she was today, and there wasn't any reason more simple than she one she had given.

Shifting guilty like, Kait bit her lip. "I... got an owl from a relative of mine," She started, looking at the minister straight in the eye. "I didn't know my grandmother exists. But it turns out, well..." The brunette waved to the Holender crest on her right sleeve. Hesitating, she added, "I ran away. I was... in a difficult time, and now I am regretting my decision."

Giving her a small smile, Kait nodded to the seat in front of the desk. "May I?" Kait noticed that the minister was looking healthy and well. That was good- especially after her kidnapping a while back.

Looking surprised Kallie shook her head, "I hardly think I demand people to be that formal. You do not need to ask permission to sit Kaitlen, you are always welcome here, and to sit where ever you want when you do."

Tiling her head, she looked over the girl. There was certainly something different about her. She looked more put together than she was when she had last seen here, but Kallie knew from experience, looking put together doesn't always mean you are better on the inside.

"Do you wish to speak about it?"

Kait blushed, and sat in the well-padded chair. "It is a habit I picked up, while I was... gone." She nervously brushed back her hair, glancing all around her. The office didn't change very much, and Kait took reassurance of that fact.

The brunette bit her lip, while fiddling with her hands. Did she want to talk about it? Sure, she had explained what happened before. But they didn't really understand why and how she was affected.

Kait got a feeling that Kallie was different though.

"I was... slowly decaying inside," Kait started slowly, taking care with her words. "Everything around me was chaotic. When I started making sense of something, something new came up and I lashed out. I didn't know what to do. I was too prideful, too confused, to ask for help." Gray Moon flicked her tongue against her skin comforting, silently offering her comfort. "So when the owl came, it was a break. I accepted it, and took on a new identity."

Kait blinked a few times, and let out a shaky breath. "Now that I'm back... my friends, and ex-boyfriend are not sure if I should be back in their lives or not."

"It is not a bad habit to have; Manners Miss Grayson, will get you everywhere. There are some situations where a well placed thank you will get you much better than your fist, or magic ever will," Kallie gave her speech in formal but softened language, a kind grin on her face.

As the girl continued to speak, she remained silent, determined not to interrupt until it became obvious the other girl wished her to. Although Kallie understood very little about lashing out from a personal sense, she did understand unbearable chaos. Many people, she was sure, thought she was just born with the emotionless persona she put on in her day to day life, but it was quite the opposite. The only way Kallie had ever felt able to control the chaos in her life, was to control every little thing about herself and the situation that she could.

When she lost too much control her old fears came back. When she lost too much control she panicked, and was helpless to stop it.

"I find, that in life we have to do what is correct for us, and if others do not wish to understand it, as painful as it may be, we have to accept that and let it go," Letting out a breath, she leaned back against the table slightly, "That being said, the people that mean the most to us, mean those things for a reason. Usually, those reasons eventually allow them to see that you needed to do what was right for you. It just may take them time to realize it."

It may become too late once they did realize it. But Kallie decided to leave her own misfortunes out of the girl's life. She was still young, younger, in fact, than she was when she had, had Evelina and she had her whole life to make mistakes and learn from them.

There as no need to scare her away from trying.

Kait snorted. "Try telling that to my own fist," She muttered. She shook her head, thinking about the many times she punched somebody. Then she realized that Kallie called her 'Grayson'. When was the last time somebody called that? Half of her wanted to correct Kallie. But the other half whispered that she was probably going to get disowned anyways. Soon her last name will be 'Grayson' again. She wasn't sure if she was happy about that fact or upset.

She slowly nodded, seeing logic in her words. "I..." Kait tilted her head. "And... odd part of me don't regret it. I learned how to control myself, a little bit, but even that was a feat itself. I'm slowly learning how to.... accept my family? Who is related to me? And that.... that my friends are the best family." Kait gave a small smile at that, and added, "And Frodo. But things are just complicated with him." She bit her lip, and let out a sigh. "Being Cosette was a lot of work honestly."

The Brunette gave the minister a look. "I knew there was a reason I told you this." Kait gave the woman a hesitant smile.

Kallie let out a soft and indulgent laugh. The girl amused her, though she could never quite put the reason on why. The fond attraction she had to her had never been anything born out of a nostalgic seeing herself in the girl. Kaitlen was everything that Kallie never was. However, that might have been the reason why she was so fond and amused by the girl. She was the exact opposite of what she wasn't, and never could have been.

"It is not something that is easily learned. It will take time, maybe never, for many of us to realize the benefits of words. Though I do promise you, there will be a time in your life when you wished you had learned to speak rather than punch."

Again she listened, calmly waiting for the girl to finish, "Being anyone that we are not always is. However, if we learned something more valuable than it was worth that work. And sometimes the most complicated things are the ones we need the most."

Complicated was what life was, and there was no getting out of it.

"Well I am glad I can help in anyway I can. I was young once, though people question it. I questioned it at the time myself, but I learned, a little too late, that I wasn't as mature as I was able to pretend. I think I would have benefited from someone to talk to myself."

"Punches seem to express more than what words can say," Kait told Kallie, feeling the urge to defend her instinct to punch. "But, I agree, words occasionally work better than punches." She wrinkled her nose, her old self hating the thought of using words. Be the stronger one. Be the tough one.

Be the bully- so you won't be bullied.

She remained quiet as a mouse, as she listened to the ministers wise words. Anybody else telling her this-especially an adult- she would have scoffed and told them to tell the words somewhere else. But this was Kallie. She wasn't just saying words that she really didn't mean. This woman truly meant her words- and her concern.

"When I first met you," Kait started, feeling like an open book. She made sure to meet Kallie's gaze. "I treated you with disrespect, but you stayed. You showed me that adults care. At least, some of them." She tilted her head in thought. "I'm not sure what I would have done, when... when the woman who gave birth to me attacked me." Kait felt a chill go down her back, and took in a deep breath.

Then Kait suddenly remembered one of the few reasons why Kait was here in the first place. Sitting up straight, Kait told Kallie very bluntly, "I'm interested into become an auror."

"I'll always be here, if you or anyone needs me," Kallie said solemnly, "I feel that is my duty, as Minister. I was put here to protect people - run our race. What kind of leader would I be, if I was not willing lend help on a personal level to those brave or desperate enough to ask?"

Really Kallie was just glad to have been a help. A warm feeling was spreading through her at the very thought. She only hoped that she would be able to extend the favour to the other people in her life that mattered to her. She felt that she had failed Evelina so far in the past she wasn't sure that any amount of good towards the girl would make up for it. Part of her sometimes wondered if she even deserved to have the girl in her life at all. If Ev did not need her, need someone to guide and protect her, there had always been the chance that to punish herself, Kallie would not let herself near the girl.

Still, that was not the way life had gone.

"Are you? Its a good job - just what, though, makes you inclined to such a nature of work? Its not for everyone you know - they only take the best of the best."

"If you help the minor ones," Kait started out slowly. "It becomes obvious that you care for the people. You don't do your job just to be powerful." Kait fixed a gaze on Kallie, Kait's thinking one. "You show that.... you do it because you want to help. You probably don't realize how many lives you have changed for the better." Kait felt that Kallie was probably one of the better ministers the ministry has seen. She cared for the people, for her job. She did so well, she made it look easy. And Kait knew from all the paperwork stacked on the desk, it wasn't.

This was the part where Kait struggled with her words. Kait wasn't totally sure herself- but she did know that she needed to express her desires with someone near the field. "I can never get rid of my violent nature. If I don't use it, I get restless. Crazy." She bit her lip, struggling to find the right words. "I want to use it... I don't know... for the good, I suppose. Punish the guilty ones. Protect the innocents." Make up for all my mistakes.

"Exactly," Kallie agreed with a firm nod and a softened smile. She was glad that was coming across on some level, at least to someone. There were certain images that she needed to present as Minister but there was a middle ground that she could present. She wanted to look firm, in control - but not with out compassion.

Kallie nodded her head slowly, listening to the girl. "Using your talents for the good is always noble, thought it is vital to remember that there is more to being an Auror than just being violent. There is thinking, reason involved - and there is also paper work to do, lots of it. It will be boring sometimes." She raised her eyebrow, and the young girl, "Do you think you'll be ready for that as well?"

Kait lacked being reasonable all of the time (anger clouded her mind), and she hated thinking. It gave her an headache. She bit her tongue, wanting to say "Well, I can always go around robbing places then". But it was the minister she was talking to. Even if it was Kallie, it wasn't a very smart thing to do.

"Still," The brunette told the minister, stubborn. "I want too. And trust me, I always find a way to make things entertaining." Kait smirked as several very entertaining memories was played in her mind. She could always bet who can get things done faster with a fellow Auror. Or just make somebody do it for her.

"And," Kait continued, hopeful that Kallie will support her ideal career. "I am good at fighting, muggle ways and wizarding ways. I like doing things quickly." Then the brunette hesitated, not sure how to put the next sentence in the correct format. "And... I am capable of doing things other Aurors have a hard time doing. As long as I know it is happening to the guilty." Her violent nature made her that way.

Kallie appraised the girl slowly, biting back her amusement at the slight shift in expression she saw. The rebellious child was still in there, and although it was a feeling Kallie herself never experienced she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to see it leave the child across from her. It would not do to rebel against everything, that would get one no where in life - but just a dash of rebellion in anyone's life could be healthy. The world needed people to question

She nodded her head slowly, expression solemn at the girls words. It was true that there were occasional that may call for such things, but it was equally true that the ministry has rules too.

"That is good, an advantage to have, though there has to be structure to everything we do here. Rules and such."