what you want

One could never really have enough clothes. It was one of the philosophies that Juliette had subscribed to since her youth. Death hadn't changed it at all. Though there was that added factor that the clothes would forever, she still shopped like there would be tomorrow.

And as if she still had Billy.

Flinching at just the thought of the boy who'd left her as soon as he'd found out that she was a vampire, the girl brushed her hands through her hair, taking a deep breath as she fought not to knock over every single rack in the store.

Really, he'd been her only source of income. And she was running out of money, fast. She needed someone to take his place in her life, someone who'd shower money on her.

She was a party girl at heart. There'd never been the need to get a job before. And that wasn't about to change anytime soon. Humming softly, she pulled another dress off the rack, admiring it for a moment before adding it to the pile of clothes on her arm.

She was getting these clothes, but someone else was going to pay for them.

"Taking up the whole stalk aren't we?" A tiny smirk played across the girl's lip as she took in the familiar figure in the shop.

The older Josse looked different somehow, though Ninette couldn't quite put her finger on it. She didn't really care all that much either, truth be told. That was the luxury of caring about only herself - other people's business became completely uninteresting.

"If you weren't a different size than me, I'd almost be peeved," she smirked and raised an eyebrow before she turned to look at a rack of clothes herself. Pulling out a particularly short skirt, she held it up to her own legs. "Hello Juliette."

"What can I say?" Juliette shrugged, glancing up at the blonde with a small grin. "I'm a shopaholic, guilty as charged." It was nice to see one of Lisette's friends around. She'd been beginning to wonder if they'd all vanished into thin air.

She'd been aware of the girl's presence since she'd walked in. Though she hadn't recognized her on smell alone, she didn't look all that different from the last time they'd met. It was almost saddening to the vampire that one would be hard pressed to surprise her these days. And she rather liked surprise parties.

"Well, you can thank my genes for that," she said with a small laugh, shifting the clothes from arm to arm. "Hey, Ninette. How's life been treating you?"

"Its hardly a crime," Ninette quipped, putting the skirt across her arm and moving on to a different rack, shifting through the tops to match. It was simply impossible to buy half an outfit, sacrilegious really. "At least, if it is, its one I suffer from too. Guess I'd have to arrest us both - and between you and me, orange isn't really my colour." If she ever did end up such a situation, Ninette honestly believed she'd be forced to kill herself before she was caught in such a hideous shade.

Twirling around the girl, she moved to a new rack behind her, the old one not having what she was looking for, "Don't you know I am. I hate sharing, I'm sure everyone knows that."

"Life's been treating me the same way it always has," she flashed a droll little smirk, "As if I'm the butt of a complicated joke. But isn't that all how life goes?"

"I suppose we do help the economy. France should bestow us with awards for all we've done for them." A tiny grin flitted across her face at the thought. Pulling a pale blue shirt off the rack, she eyed it for a moment. The fabric was nice, and it was her size...Ignoring the accompanying price tag, she added the shirt to her growing pile of clothes. Looking up at the blonde, she tilted her head in thought. "Oh, I don't know about that. You could pull it off. It'd have to be pale orange, but it could work."

Here, when it came to fashion, she was in her domain. Though trends came and went, it was relevantly stable, and this one thing would always be her second love, herself her first of course. She almost couldn't wait to see how fashion would evolve in the coming decades and centuries.

Changing racks, her fingers danced across hemlines of summery skirts. "Trust me, I know what that's like. I couldn't share to save my life. At least you're an only child. You never had to." Juliette hummed softly, pulling a knee length skirt off the rack. Though she loved Lisette, she hsdn't been very happy when at the age of seven she'd been told that she'd be getting a little sister. She distinctly remembered disliking sharing her parents' attention.

"Depends on how funny the joke is," she murmured softly, smirking. Shrugging a shoulder, Juliette held another skirt to her waist. "You gotta live every day like it might be your last, Netty. Sometimes life throws you great things, and sometimes it tries to kill you. But you're the master of your own success and demise. Don't like your life? Change it."

Ninette thought about this moment, before grinning, "You're right, I can pull off almost anything if I try hard enough," she laughed slightly, and ran her finger along the edge of a shirt. It was soft, but not anything fancy. Ninette preferred something more high end it she could create the funds for it. "I'm sure they wouldn't mind me demanding the shade of my jump suit at prison."

There had been moments when Ninette wondered why Lisette had befriended her all those years ago. In truth, at one point or another, Ninette wondered why anyone befriended her. But the moment she had met her sister, Ninette understood, in part why she wasn't so repulsive to the girl. Possibly a little less bitter, Juliette Josse was a lot like herself.

"Ah, I was and only child. My grandmother decided to get married, and have some more kids," she shook her head, "Its a long story; needless to say, when I'm living with them, I have been forced to learn sharing."

Though the underground was certainly big enough that it wasn't space she had to share. Attention however, was a hard thing to remove. Ninette had always run under the impression she was her grandmother's favourite, being much more like her than her mother. With the birth of the twins, though she did care for them, there had been and still were slight moments of jealousy.

"Change it huh? And just what do you suggest I should change it to?"

"That's the spirit," Juliette laughed, fiddling with the straps of a yellow dress. Holding it up to her chest, she quirked an eyebrow at Ninette for her opinion. "Of course they wouldn't. People like us have connections." She grinned widely, winking.

She had family and friends in high places. It was one of those things that the woman prided herself with having established for herself.

"Wouldn't you still be an only child?" she asked, tilting her head slightly. "You'd have - aunts? uncles? - but you'd still be an only child." She gave her head a small shake, laughing softly. "Or have I just gotten old?" She hummed softly, gaze flicking towards a cute pair of shorts.

Merlin, she could kiss the person who'd realized Lapis lazuli's magical powers. There were so many great things she'd never have to miss out on.

"Oh, I don't know. Do something nuts. Ditch all your friends and find other ones. Though, that might make seventh year a little lonely." She frowned, humming softly in thought. "Change schools. Or, there's a simpler idea. Find out the problem and kill it. Well, not murder kill it, but you know what I mean." She waved her free arm dismissively.

"Connections make the world go around," Ninette quipped, as she glanced at the older girl, woman really, looking over the dress. Frowning she tilted her head and really thought about it. "Not bad, certainly makes your hair pop, though it makes your complexion look even paler. Suppose its up to you which you like more."

Looking at her own pile on her arm, she counted the objects, and then returned to her hunt. There was still something out there that she needed, she just didn't know what it was yet. Ninette was a firm believer that ones shopping trip was never complete until you found that one object that was simply perfect for you. She has shopped from almost a day before looking for that article of clothing, and was prepared to go longer if she ever had to.

"Officially yes, but when I live with my Grandmother and those imps are always around, might as well be siblings," she raised her eyebrow, almost daring the woman to contradict her. She was certainly never calling those two her aunt or uncle. She's changed their diaper - fae magic or not, they weren't getting any authority over her no matter how old they got.

"Murder it huh?" Ninette mused slowly tapping her foot on the ground. "That's an interesting philosophy you've gained Josse. And what if my problem isn't murder-able." What if her problem was herself?

"They really are. And crashing into the right person at the right time – that can really save your life." Juliette grinned. There really wasn’t a day that passed in which she didn’t feel overwhelmed with thanks for Ethon. Even if he thought being a vampire was a curse, she could still life, couldn’t she? "Looking a little pale won’t be the end of the world, I suppose I’ll survive." A little smirk flashed across for a moment before disappearing as she added the dress to her pile. She couldn't help but be amused by the little reminders that she was a vampire.

By laughing at all of them, it made the transition feel a little smoother and made her less dead.

"I guess that makes sense," she said with a slight shrug. The family of others really should have concerned her more, but really what Ninette considered her family didn’t matter to her at all. Even if she was her own family, Juliette wasn’t entirely certain she would’ve cared.

Humming softly, she pulled a pair of jeans off the rack, giving them an appraising little glance. "It’s worked well enough for me over the years." Taking problems head-on was so much simpler than waiting for them to go away. "Then, Netty, you find the best alternate way to get rid of it."

Ninette smirked a little to herself, looking around the shop instead of at the other girl, "I'm sure you will."

She shrugged as well, not caring that he other girl didn't care about her family life. Ninette rarely cared about other people's families, why should she care if other people did. It was mostly small talk anyway.

"Netty, Netty, Netty," the girl chuckled to herself eyes on the fabric in her head. Her voice lowered with each repetition of her 'name', until she was finally whispering to herself. "I think that might be the problem."

"Of course I will," she said smugly, fingering a red t-shirt. It was cute, she had to admit, but she had the exact same shirt, just in blue. She could still buy it, but for someone who really needed money... She returned it to the rack. "I'm practically immortal." The vampire grinned, humming softly.

Moving down the rack, she rifled through the clothes, giving each one a long look. But even from whereshe was, she could still hear Ninette as if she was still standing beside her. Looking up at the blonde, she rested her chin atop the metal rack.

She could tell her that she'd heard, but then she'd have to answer awkward questions. Chewing on her lip, Juliette decided that they were worth it, if only so she could comfort the her sister's friend. "Why'd you say that?" she asked, her gaze soft. Suddenly right beside the Angelique, she tilted her head down at the girl. "Because from here, I wouldn't say that."

"Nice colour," Ninette remarked looking up, "Look great with some red lipstick. Real, you can't ignore me, vibe going on. Even if its a little causal." Humming to herself, she was completely ignorant of the fact that the woman had heard what she wasn't supposed to hear.

At least until she found her right beside her questioning her on things Ninette preferred not to be questioned upon. Freezing up for a moment, an almost dear in the head lights look crossing her face, she swallowed, forced herself to relax and moved on as if nothing happened.

"Well maybe you need to come over here," she snorted, "It's pretty loud and clear from this angle."

She nodded, her eyes straying back to the shirt. Now, how could she not buy it? It was almost a challenge now and she wasn't going to back down from a challenge. "Still," the woman shrugged a shoulder. "I think I've been noticed enough to last a lifetime."

It was true. There were times that she'd walk down a street and get glares from werewolves.

Folding her arms across her chest, Juliette frowned. "I don't believe it. I've known you for years, Ninette. And you're not a problem to me. And I doubt you're a problem to anyone else. So why do you see yourself as one?"

"Is there ever such a thing as being noticed too much?"

Although light - or well as light as Ninette ever was - there was still a tiny voice in her head that was insisting that yes, yes there was. That voice was ignored with practices skilled and she went back to looking very pointedly at the outfit she had collected from the various racks. There was something about the shirt that was still off to her, but she hadn't found a better replacement yet.

That was as good a thing to focus on as any.

"Do you really care Juliette?" The question may have been rude, but Ninette didn't care - after all, she often was. She arched one of her perfect eyebrows, eye dark and fathomless. "Because, I'm always stuck with me. There is no escape, when there's no escape you see the truth."

She hummed softly, twirling towards a rack of jeans. "Sadly. There are good and bad and in-between people out there. The wrong kind of attention from any of them can be - unpleasant." The woman wrinkled her nose, the beginnings of a frown on her face. It was attention like that could get you stabbed.

And there wouldn't always be people around to help.

Adding another pair of jeans to her pile, she moved back towards Ninette, her green eyes meeting the younger girl's. "Yes," Juliette said simply, her voice firm. "I care about you Ninette Fontaine. Have since the day we met." She smiled fondly. Anyone who was friends with her sister was in her good books. Putting her clothes on the rack, she placed her hands on the prefect's shoulders. "Sure, but it's not the truth. Majority wins, right? And I'm positive that the majority doesn't agree."

She pulled away, raising an eyebrow. "But humour me. What exactly is it that you don't like about yourself."

Ninette let out a snort, expression darkening as she felt something coil deep in her stomach. She knew exactly what the wrong sort of attention could get her. It was just no one seemed to understand, that to her the wrong sort of attention was exactly whatever one thought was the good sort.

Prying eyes, flirting grins - they all screamed the same thing at her. Over and over, time and time again they morphed into the same face, a face she didn't want to see ever again. The only way she could ever get it to stop was to give them what they wanted. Over and over, constantly, she would flirt back, wink and smile. If she took control of the situation then maybe she could change the ending.

The problem was, every time she ended up with the exact same feeling in the bit of her stomach, the exact same desire to drown herself in a shower and never leave. It was only once she was done that she could stop fooling herself, only once it was done that she realized she still didn't want it to happen.

It still wasn't any different.

Turning around she met the other girls gaze. She had never had an older sister, never understood the relationship one had with them. But she supposed that Lisette's sister could work good enough. You told sisters things, didn't you?

She would never tell her the truth, the whole truth, but maybe she could give something away. At least to prove to her that she was right. Ninette wasn't worth liking.

"I don't like what I do, what I've become. I do things that, I don't want to do. I think I want to, sometimes, but then I don't. Its too late to stop it once I realize." She shrugged her shoulders, met Juliette's gaze for only a moment longer before she turned back to the racks around her, seemingly focused once more on finding the perfect shirt.

She tilted her head slightly at Ninette, listening to her words carefully, taking the time to really pay attention to them. When she asked a question, she wanted not to just hear the answer but to really understand it.

"We've all done things we're not proud of, Netty." She pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, her gaze and expression warm with understanding. "God knows I have." Juliette shook her head, a sad smile tugging at her lips. What was she in the end, but a shallow little girl with an obsession with being wealthy but never lifting a finger? She'd strung all those men along with the sole intent of going for their bank accounts.

And even now, as she was running out of money for basic things like paying her rent, here she was, buying clothes she'd probably only wear once.

But she brushed those thoughts away. They were foreign to her, brought on by this conversation. She'd never had a reason to think that before, why should now be any different?

"But you've realized now, haven't you?" Juliette murmured, her green eyes wide. "So you can make the conscious choice to never do it again. Like I said, change what you don't like." She nodded, a tiny smile flitting across her face.

Ninette shrugged her shoulders, a restless sort of feeling coming to her, in part due to her own growing frustration. Juliette was trying to help it was true, but she was missing the key point. Ninette didn't know how to change. There were things that were wrong with her, fundamentally wrong.

"But I realize it all the times before. I always know, that I don't want to before I start, but then I do anyway."

She always relives the same thing - its like she wants to do it. Maybe she was punishing herself, or just...

Ninette hardly knew.

"What does it matter. I'll make it different this time, right?" Her eyes were dark as her lips smirked. She didn't quite look sincere, but when did she ever? Ninette was banking on that fact to help her now.

The woman tilted her head, chewing on her bottom lip thoughtfully. She'd never claimed to be wize or to have all the all the answers in life, but she honestly felt like she might be able to help. Her advice might not be the best, but hey, she was trying.

And that had to count for something, right?

"Why?" It was a simple and innocuous question, but she didn't think the answer would be the same. "I think, Ninette, if you can figure that out, you maybe just might be able to stop. You take whatever's fueling these actions and channel them into something else."

Juliette searched the girl's gaze, her eyes scrutinizing her face. Nodding uneasily, unable to not feel a twinge of suspicion, she said, "Only if you really try."

Why?

Wasn't that the question she had been asking herself for days? Wasn't that what she had been trying to figure out? If she knew, then she would be able to stop. Wouldn't she?

Only...

There was also the voice that kept saying she did know. She knew exactly why she did what she did, why she tricked herself into thinking that she wanted to do it every time. The one voice that was constantly in her head, speaking over and over, in a voice that wasn't hers put so convincing. Every time she heard it she could still feel his warm breath on the back of her neck, fingers on her skin even though they were long gone.

Maybe she did it every time to stop that. To replace it with a different face, a different set of hands. It always seemed to be what they wanted, it made then happy to an extent.

She supposed that was all she was good for.

"What am I supposed to channel self loathing into?" she gave a bitter little smirk, "I hardly think you're supporting I channel it into myself." Even though she supposed what she was currently was doing was hurting herself too.

"I always try."

She tilted her head, waiting patiently for a response. She had all the time in the world, didn't she? She didn't need to breath, she didn't get tired very easily, and she wouldn't be hungry for hours. For all intents and purposes, she could easily just stand here in front of the younger girl until she got an answer.

But she knew how teen girls worked. It'd only been four years - Merlin, she felt old - since she'd been one herself. And she knew that that tactic would never work.

Though she couldn't help but raise a eyebrow when Ninette's next words were a question, not an answer. But if she'd gotten the Angelique to simply think about the answer, then Juliette had done enough.

"Of course I'm not," she said gently, turning to glance around the store thoughtfully. "Channel into fashion, maybe? You have an eye for it." She nodded towards the pile of clothes in the younger girl's possession. "Maybe try your hand at making it."

She smiled slightly. "Then winning's inevitable. Sooner or later, it'll happen."

Cocking her head to the side, Ninette nodded slowly. She supposed that could work, though her nature couldn't quite bring her to admit that anyone might be right, not even at this moment. There were still enough walls up for her to not sink to that.

"I suppose so."

Setting the clothes on her arm down on a rack - someone would put them back in the right spot eventually. It's what they're paid to do right? - she gave the older girl a half smirk and nodded her head.

"Nice talk, Josse. I'll see you around."

And Ninette turned and walked out of the store. For once in her life not trying on a single thing.