Shattered

She was breaking, falling apart at the seams and there was absolutely no way to stop it. Not on her own, not without help. It had started out in the hallways, trapped between masses of students moving to and from dinner, throwing jeers and gossip between people, she had been startled by the sudden casting of a spell. The harmless jinx, meant for a person ways away from her flew passed without any impact at all. At least not a visible one - it didn't even hit its target. But within the girl it had nearly hit by mistake it had broke a wall that had been very carefully put back in place upon her return from break. The first crack had been nothing more than her wildly beating heart, the quickening of her pulse. Fracturing even more, the world began to distort words bouncing and echoing around the hall causing more confusion, which in turn broke the wall further.

She had escaped to her own common room then, praying that the safety of some where familiar, somewhere she considered home would be enough to defuse what was running through her. But she knew the truth even before she had stepped into the room: it was still too crowded, too full of noise and other students to do any good. Juliet only stood there long enough, frozen in the doorway, to get shoved by an older student trying to get in around her. Letting out a screech that was heard by almost no one in the room - they were too preoccupied with their own things to notice the lone girl losing it - she jumped flinching so violently that she actually propelled herself forward, and once the movement had started she never stopped. Taking off she didn't slow or even think about stopping until she was in her dormitory.

That was how she got to where she was now, huddled in the corner between her bed and night stand falling apart and desperately fumbling for the only thing she knew she could use to stop it. Juliet knew she had it somewhere, the healer had given her another vial, a small one, just in case, just in case she did something like this, right? Right? Fumbling for the drawer she tried to find it, folding her hand around the small vial, glass cold against her hand.

Calming draught.

It wasn't actually the back up that the healer had given her, not the first one anyway. She had used that up weeks ago, falling into the same cycle time and time again. Something would set her off until she found herself right where she was now. Pulling the liquid towards her, she fumbled with the stopper in her hand, only to find herself moments later empty handed, glass and potion shattered beside her.

Swallowing helplessly at the mess she had made the girl shook even more, suddenly more lost.

If she didn't have that, how was she going to stop herself from falling apart now? Who was going to save her, when she was alone and had no idea how to save herself?

But even as she was breaking, sitting there losing herself completely a tiny voice in the back of her head kept whispering the answer, whispering the name to her. No, she would still need to save herself, that was the truth of it all - allowing anyone else to do it would be just as useful as downing the potion every time she felt antsy, but that didn't mean she had to do it all alone either. There were people out there, people she could count on - if she could just find them.

Ignoring the glass that was around her, forgetting the potion she began fumbling for the next thing, frantically searching for the small piece of glass she had purchased earlier that month.

"Zander?" her voice was an unstable plea, desperate for an answer and fearful of what she would do if she didn't get one. "Zander? Please be there- I need-"

His response caught her off but only for a moment. It didn't stall her but just changed the direction of the words, that brief moment of his voice already doing wonders. "Please just... just talk for me, will you? I don't even care just-just talk and don't stop until I tell you okay. Please?"

Any confusions he might have had eventually fell away for whatever reason, and she felt her muscles relax, her mind focus on the sound of his voice instead of everything else. Part of her mind was gently reminding her that she needed to talk to someone about this, about her panic, but at the moment she was just content to stay where she was, which she did, listening to the sound of his voice until she finally fell asleep.