cast the world aside. {eye}

by **Sel** Sat Jan 14, 2012 4:27 am

Sel: Fifth Year; Posts : 1020
Join date : 2011-08-04
Age : 26
Location : ruling over muffinland.

Post n°1

cast the world aside. {eye}

Post by Sel Sat Jan 14, 2012 4:27 am

Dear Diary...
I should be writing to you more often since I feel like I'm not the girl I used to be.
Yes I am still me, whoever that is, and I do have my circle of friends with me.
But for myself, I think I don't know who I am.
I mean, I'm not the same girl you knew two years ago.
Specifically when I started at Hogwarts.
Still remember when I'm wondering why I was sorted in Slyth?
Yeah, I guess now I know.
Maybe I AM evil. Not entirely, but because of the dark side.
That can be, right? I know I'm the fragile and weak Slytherin.
But sometimes, I think I'm being mean.
Oh! I just ruined my second lesson in Astronomy because of some hip misunderstanding.
I reckon those girls are still mad at me. And Anna moved away because of an accident.
MY unintentional accident. I'm so stupid. I have let my shielding guard down.
Just to feel the air of emotion that those bullies did.
And now, do I have to confess or not?

Last edited by Iris Frances on Mon Sep 10, 2012 9:04 am; edited 1 time in total

by **Sel** Sun Jan 15, 2012 12:18 pm

Sel

Sel: Fifth Year; Posts : 1020
Join date : 2011-08-04
Age : 26
Location : ruling over muffinland.

Post n°2

Re: cast the world aside. {eye}

Post by Sel Sun Jan 15, 2012 12:18 pm

Dear Diary...
~~My mind just reminded me that I have no love interest.~~
A-G-A-I-N. Urgh.
Ye-ah, I did have a date back at the Winter Ball.
And my couple friends were persuading me with this guy.
But after that sensation of blushing stuff, there was nothing else.
I feel nothing. Maybe that's why I'm evil! I am a heartless girl.
Maybe a coward hiding from love. Exactly. That is it.
What does that even mean? Because I have no idea.
Oh as if you know. ~~You're just hear to watch me put nonsense words.~~
~~All about me and nothing about you. Poor you.~~
Or maybe I'm evil because I'm bullying lifeless objects.
Now that makes sense. Just kidding.
I don't know what to write next.
Soooo let's just say that I'll stay carefree single for the rest of my life.
And your life. And anybody else's.
Good night! xx

by **Sel** Mon Jan 16, 2012 5:51 am

Sel

Sel: Fifth Year; Posts : 1020
Join date : 2011-08-04
Age : 26
Location : ruling over muffinland.

Post n°3

Re: cast the world aside. {eye}

Post by Sel Mon Jan 16, 2012 5:51 am

Dear Diary...
I'm not myself this week. Seriously.
This is the truth. I know it. I am not me! Oh no.
The other day I got some misunderstanding with a Gryffindor and one Slytherin.
With Anna ~~(she seems also changed)~~, my Ravenclaw friend herself. That's what I told you days ago.
And then, I keep on wandering in the grounds, waiting for no one or even nothing.
Then I'll be the gloomy side of me that I rarely show.
And just last night during dinner, I got back to my diet.
That's because of the chocolates I bought a week ago.
And they're only half-empty. And my friends are just too shy to get one so we can share eating them.
And yeah, there's also that time in Honeydukes. What a story.
I'll run out of words before I'd be finished.
Just hear me out and be silent.
You have nothing to do with this.
You don't have to care. I'll be all right.
Maybe. Sooner. I hope. I wish. If only now.

~~P.S. I'm going to grab my first-ever firewhiskey. Want some?~~

by **Sel** Thu Jan 19, 2012 1:22 pm

Sel

Sel: Fifth Year; Posts : 1020
Join date : 2011-08-04
Age : 26
Location : ruling over muffinland.

Post n°4

Re: cast the world aside. {eye}

Post by Sel Thu Jan 19, 2012 1:22 pm

Dear Diary...
Is it already 12 o'clock in the afternoon?
Did I just slept for twenty-four hours?
'Cause that's what I feel.
And when I woke up, why was I blocking the door of the common room?
Good thing Vee woke me up. What a nice start.
And why do I smell like liquor?
Oh right. Because of the ~~firewhiskey~~.
But I can't remember anything that happened before I was knocked-out.
Nothing. Really. All I knew was that I had dinner with Grayson.
And I was on a diet again. Yep.
Just blurred images. With Anna.
After I went all mentally around the castle.
I strolled the WHOLE castle.
Oh no. I'm MAD. I'm Mad Eye.
Haha. Very funny. But I'm way too serious.

by **Sel** Tue Jan 24, 2012 11:17 am

Sel

Sel: Fifth Year; Posts : 1020
Join date : 2011-08-04
Age : 26
Location : ruling over muffinland.

Post n°5

Re: cast the world aside. {eye}

Post by Sel Tue Jan 24, 2012 11:17 am

Dear Diary...
Yep. I told my good ol'friend Grayson about my problemos.
And I swear, I acted all mentally out there. Uh-huh.
Crap. I need to find myself somewhere.
I reckon I hid my true being and that I've got to look for it back again.
So that I may be in my final resting place.
Whew. That would be a heck of a job to do.
Good luck for me!
And yeah, I think Grayson loves me more.
Haha. Lucky me.

by **Sel** Sun Jan 29, 2012 2:11 pm

Sel

Sel: Fifth Year; Posts : 1020
Join date : 2011-08-04
Age : 26
Location : ruling over muffinland.

Post n°6

Re: cast the world aside. {eye}

Post by Sel Sun Jan 29, 2012 2:11 pm

Dear Diary...
Oh hey. Guess where I am right now?
Austria baby! And it's paradise here.
Like there's no problem with myself.
And why am I here? Not really a long story.
I've decided to come in peace and actually get me into rehab.
Not the actual thing. But like this. Just for a change.
Mum and dad agreed for the trip. Just me. Yey.
But it's rather boring. I'm still alone.
There's still that feeling inside of me that I can't remove.
So the common policies! No alcohol and stuff that can make me more mental.
I think I'll enjoy this for a while until the end of the break.

by **Sel** Tue Jan 31, 2012 2:18 pm

Sel

Sel: Fifth Year; Posts : 1020
Join date : 2011-08-04
Age : 26
Location : ruling over muffinland.

Post n°7

Re: cast the world aside. {eye}

Post by Sel Tue Jan 31, 2012 2:18 pm

~~Dear~~ Diary...
Leave me alone.
I'm so tired. I need to sleep the rest of my life.
Literally. Would you if you woke up in the middle of the night?
And because of that very stupid dream.
Then you got drunk again. Puked inside a stall.
And actually had a conversation with Myrtle The Ghost.
She seems nice after all. I did not know.
Good think I just drank a few.
And not much of a hangover because I remember what happened.
Oh. I should sleep some more. Classes won't start for the next thirty minutes.
Just a short one. Do me a favor. Wake me up.
Haha. Yeah. I don't want to make my day even worse.
Hmmmm. Imma skip breakfast? Yep.

by **Sel** Mon Feb 06, 2012 3:45 am

Sel

Sel: Fifth Year; Posts : 1020
Join date : 2011-08-04
Age : 26
Location : ruling over muffinland.

Post n°8

Re: cast the world aside. {eye}

Post by Sel Mon Feb 06, 2012 3:45 am

Dear Diary...
Wow. I've never realized that life still makes sense.
And now, I think I'm becoming more and more stable.
Back to myself. Hurray! Let us celebrate.
Huh. Maybe no alcohol for now.
Yeah, yeah. That's what I always say.
But seriously. Nothing but positive stuff.
Everything I love counts, right?
And I should thank my friends and a couple of professors for making me realize these things.
Smooch! xx

by **Sel** Mon Sep 10, 2012 9:17 am

Sel

Sel: Fifth Year; Posts : 1020
Join date : 2011-08-04
Age : 26
Location : ruling over muffinland.

Post n°9

Re: cast the world aside. {eye}

Post by Sel Mon Sep 10, 2012 9:17 am

saved by prayer

technically, who would have thought that some fucking life will turn out better anyhow?
i need not to write about those stuff, those feelings, those superb emotions,
those fucking awesome things that happened to me after the nightmares.
they were enough to remain in my mind. forever.
and i wouldn't mind the shit anymore, so long as i'm back and well with them.
i love them still. and yes, for eternity. if not, longer than eternity.
i'm going to school now. and sorry if i haven't written in this lifeless notebook for a long time.
i feel new and reborn. as if my past world was replaced.
i don't live dependently from now on. i don't need them, those bitches in my life.
all i need is me, myself, and i with a little friends along the way.
and now, i finally know how to live life.
geez. goodluck to me then. bye.
~~if these stuff will even last.~~

by **Sel** Sat Oct 13, 2012 3:41 pm

Sel

Sel: Fifth Year; Posts : 1020
Join date : 2011-08-04
Age : 26
Location : ruling over muffinland.

Post n°10

Re: cast the world aside. {eye}

Post by Sel Sat Oct 13, 2012 3:41 pm

a complete unknown

like a rolling stone.
love is asking to be loved.
love is love. love is asking to be loved.
what the fuck is wrong with me?
why do i feel this way yet again?
why am i acting weak and weird?
i thought it's over.
anyway, i feel like a bully.
a big (not exactly) bad bully.
well, i am. i guess...
and, i've had heart-to-heart talks with my two best friends.
they can't get enough of me. kidding.
and with sophia. wow. life changing.
i hope things will be better this way.
good night. hello, insomnia, my old friend.

by **Sel** Wed Oct 31, 2012 7:08 am

Sel

Sel: Fifth Year; Posts : 1020
Join date : 2011-08-04
Age : 26
Location : ruling over muffinland.

Post n°11

Re: cast the world aside. {eye}

Post by Sel Wed Oct 31, 2012 7:08 am

blackbird

to see with sunken eyes is one thought's anguish.
i am just.... so confused. and i spent seventeen galleons on this thing.
i don't even know when should i drink it. now? later? tomorrow?
not also sure if i heard the hufflepuff boy right on how i will do it.
he said like, three full doses that i should ration it out to five.
how in the world? what? it's easier this way....
okay, so now i will. oh, merlin. save me.