don't recite love poems; they give me nightmares

Lena stared at the hedges around her, even though it was pitch black and she couldn't see anything save for the moonlight. It comforted her, the bright sphere. But according to sources, the moon wasn't a source of light, which she thought was stupid. A part of her wished it wasn't true, but it was.

She took a biscuit from her pocket, staring at it as if it was dirt and plopped it immediately in her mouth. She tasted dirt and dust and lots of icky things that reminded her of the floor and because of those thoughts, she struggled to keep anything in her stomach. To keep herself from throwing the contents of her stomach onto the ground, she curled herself up into a ball, closing her eyes.

Frodo sighed as he walked around the maze gardens. He just received another owl from his step-father and he was almost sure it would be the final one. After all, one doesn't get owls from a family he's disowned from, now does he? He tore up the letter and scattered it across the bushes. A part of him was glad the man didn't do the same to his sister.

He wanted to escape. He wanted his mother back. But he knew those were just wishful thoughts. He suddenly spotted a figure lying on the ground, curled up like a girl. His eyes widened slightly when he saw it was Le and he immediately rushed to her side. "Le? What happened? What's going on?" He asked, as he helped to sit straight.

Lena's eyes flew wide open. It had seemed like five short seconds, but it was much longer. She could feel her back aching, and moving it alone seemed like an impossible task. Slowly, she turned her head, her eyes narrowing. It was Frodo, and for the first time she had seen him she felt no urge to hug him or swear at him.

She stared quite expectantly at him, as if she knew that he knew, but she knew that he didn't. Of course he didn't; nobody knew. She clenched her teeth, she looked up. She told herself that she wasn't going to cry or she was going to kill him. She shook her head.

"It's back."

Frodo was a bit taken aback by the way the Uchitel was looking at him, as though he was supposed to have the answer already without knowing what's actually going on. He had missed her a lot. His first instinct would have been to hug her, but her comment startled him and made him slightly scared.

"What do you mean it's back? What is?" He questioned confusedly, the worry still evident in his voice. He sat down next to her and rubbed her back gently, hoping it was a comforting gesture.

Lena struggled to stand up, and her eyes couldn't be bothered to stay open. So she stumbled as she tried to stand, falling and slipping numerous times onto the ground. She let out a small squeak every time she did, so she sounded like a chorus of squeaks and pants and snarls. Really, she sounded like an animal.

She ended up sighing and burying her face in Frodo's chest. Her eyes wanted to stream tears, but she did not want them, and it was a strong fight between her heart and her mind in her head of hers. "I..." she whispered, "I think I'm going to puke."

If this was some other girl, Frodo would have freaked. But he was used to Le's unusual behavioural mannerisms and continued to help her. "Le, stay still for goodness' sake," he muttered as he made her to sit down.

On hearing her statement, he conjured a plastic bag and held it towards her, still rubbing her back. "It's probably something you ate. Did you have dinner?" He asked. He hoped she would answer his questions soon and tell him what's wrong. But like always, he was patient and ready to wait till she got better.

Lena coughed and shook her head, but she held the plastic bag close to her body anyway as a measure of precaution. "I-I'm sorry... I feel like throwing everyone under the bus," she whispered, her eyelids dropping. She jerked them open again, sighing.

The Uchitel looked up at her brother with a confused look in her eyes. "What's dinner?" she rasped, tilting her head back so she could get a better look at him, "I mean... I know what's dinner, but..." She paused, trying to remember what she was going to ask, and to remember the answer to her question. "I can't remember what I had for dinner... did I have any dinner, Frodo?" she asked.

Frodo put his arms around Le and and asked, "Everyone under the bus? Why, what happened? Just tell me what's wrong." His mind was already beginning to get the worst ideas, and he wanted her to talk to him.

He shook his head at her question. "I don't know if you had dinner Le. Although, judging by the way you're acting, it seems as though you haven't eaten anything the whole day. Are you on some sort of unwanted diet?" He asked, feeling slightly angry at the Uchitel for hurting herself on purpose.

Lena's eyes looked up worriedly at her brother, shaking her head, "I-If I tell you, p-promise you won't think badly of me..." Her lips quivered, her fingers trying to move. But they couldn't. She needed water, her eyes shedding a tear. "W-Water..."

The Uchitel's eyebrows raised just a little tiny bit, enough for Frodo to see. "U-Unwanted diet? I can't keep food away from me for long," she snapped, "I'm still in normal range, stupid. I'm neither anorexic or bulimic." She coughed, shaking her head slowly. "Oh God," she swore, "I didn't mean that."

"No, I won't think bad of you," Frodo promised and held his sister tighter. He conjured a glass of water and gently placed it on her lips, not wanting her to gulp the water in one go. He took off the jacket that was tied to his waist and wrapped it around Le.

"Y-You're w-what?" He asked in shock, and the worry for her shot up instantly. Y-You have an e-eating disorder?!" He shook his head, as though she was just kidding and messing with him. "How long?" He askdd quietly, not knowing how to react.

Lena was held tighter, and when she saw the glass of water in front of her, her fingers struggled to get them close enough to reach her lips. She swallowed it bit by bit, letting the liquid nourish her throat. Wrapping the jacket around her, she coughed after a while, "Frodo! You're going to kill me if you're going to hold me this tight all the time!"

The Uchitel rolled her eyes, but it was only a brief flicker because she couldn't do it properly with the strength she has. "S-Since... since Vanka died," she replied, looking own at the ground. She tried to wiggle her toes. "I... I went downhill... and I'm going downhill all over again."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Frodo quickly apologized with a sheepish smile and loosened his grip on his sister. "It's a force of habit, really." It was true; a gesture that indicated he was worried beyond his wits about the Uchitel at the moment. "Sorry," he mumbled once more.

Knowing that sympathasizing with her might make her angry, he instead chose to ask, "Have you ever talked to anyone about this?" Of course she must have. Anya or Alex or Patricia, she must have talked to one of them, he thought. "Well, I'm here now, so I won't let you go downhill." He told firmly.

The corner of Lena's lips twitched. "I know you are," she whispered, drinking another sip of the water. She was sure she drank enough to make most people feel happy, yet her body was unsatisfied. "It-It's okay," she added.

"N-No?" she asked, shaking her head, "I know I'm sick, but just because" - she took a sip of water - "I happen to be sick, I am not going to pose as burden for them." She looked up at him. "Besides, I only discovered it was back a few days ago. How can I tell anyone by then?" She held herself close to her brother. He was never going to let her go, right?

Frodo took out a chocolate frog packet from his pocket and handed it to his sister. "Please eat this? You'll feel less weak and right now, you need the energy." He wished he had some proper food with him, but this was all he had. "Do you want some more water?" He asked quietly.

"Lena Vorstenbach, just because you are ill and having a disease, doesn't make you a burden, okay?" He told firmly. His voice softened and he sighed. "A few days ago? Did you go to the infirmary? And you could have told Anya at least, by then," he reasoned. He laid his cheek on head and held Le close to him, making sure not to hurt her. "And how exactly do you plan on coping with this?"

Lena widened at the Chocolate Frog card received, and plopped the frog - whole - in her mouth. She chuckled as she slowly chewed it, trying not to laugh as it wriggled around. She swallowed and checked the card. "It's Dumbledore," she muttered, "my first one." She then nodded feebly at her brother's question.

"I am ill," she repeated, "I am having a disease." She paused, racking her mind for the right quote. "According to my favourite book in the whole wide world by John Green, almost everything is a side effect of dying. So therefore, illness is a side effect of dying, and because of this, I can say I am dying. Remember to plant tulips on my deathbed." She was only being sarcastic on the last sentence, however. She continued, "Well, I am not going to be a problematic bitch by going up to the infirmary and let them shove mashed potatoes in the mouth just because they think I have anorexia." She shrugged her shoulders. "I plan on coping with this by just... waiting, I suppose. Waiting until how I can ind help."

Frodo chuckled amusedly at Le's actions and offered her another Chocolate Frog. "I always keep a couple of these with me, just in case. Feel free to munch how much ever you want, as long as it makes you feel better," he smiled. "Dumbledore, eh? My first one was Harry Potter. I stopped collecting them after a while, though," he admitted.

"Do not mention dying because you are not dying, okay?" He told, trying not to raise his voice. "I know that you will not let some sort of disease be the end of you, and you know that as well. But then again, you always had a thing for being dramatic," he teased lightly. "And you didn't think that you'd be a problem to me by telling me?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. She would never be a problem for him though, ever. "No, we need to tell someone. Maybe someone in your family? I'm not going to let you suffer waiting for the pain to pass."

Lena grinned when Frodo said she could have had as many as she could, and she quickly bit into another one, chewing it slowly as she was mesmerized by her brother's story. Once she had finished chewing, she turned to the back and laughed, or a sad attempt at it. "It's Ravenclaw," she muttered, "Rowena Ravenclaw. Now I have three of her."

"B-But... it's true!" gasped the young Uchitel, "everything is a side event of dying! Haven't you heard? And no, me being a dramatic person has nothing - nothing - to do with this!" The blonde shrugged her shoulders. "I don't want to have you have too much on your min and explode because of your sister suffering from an illness, having cray friends, classwork and prefect duties. Speaking of which, have you scolded anyone yet?" The corner of her lip twitched. "I don't know... only Alex knows, and he's too busy with work." She sighed, gazing at the ground.

Frodo smiled as he watched his sister eat the chocolate frogs. She seemed to be a better state than when he found her and so he was feeling a bit relieved. "I had two of Ravenclaw and one of Gryffindor. Really wanted one Hufflepuff though," he told with a light laugh.

"It may be true, but that doesn't mean you're going to die, okay?" He told. "Really? Nothing to do with you being dramatic? Not even a little?" He asked and raised his eyebrow. "I thought you were smart enough to understand that you will never be a burden for me. But I guess I was wrong," he sighed in mock sadness and nudged Le's shoulder. "I did scold a couple of fourth years, but that's it really since most of the fourth and fifth have transferred. And the first years needing a push in the right direction as usual," he grinned lightly. "Well, what about Patricia?" He asked.

Lena scoffed haughtily, a cunning albeit selfish plan now up her sleeve. "I have three Hufflepuffs," she boasted shamelessly, "I'd be more than happy to give you one... in exchange for Morgan le Fay." She smirked - or attempted to, at least - and raised both of her eyebrows at her brother. "Deal, or no deal?"

The blonde shrugged her shoulders. "If that's what you want to believe," she sighed, "fine." She then shook her head fiercely, or as much as she could move it without pain. "Merlin, Frodo, I know I'm dramatic, but I'm not a liar," she muttered, rolling her eyes. Her eyes widened in anger, before narrowing because of the same reason. "Did you just call me 'not smart enough'?" she snarled, but then calmed down when Frodo nudged her shoulder. She chuckled at her brother's scolding of fourth years. "Well, we fourth years are the most lively of all years, so what else do you expect?" she asked. She shrugged her shoulders. "Too busy training to be a Healer? She hasn't gotten to 'Psychological Issues' of the training book yet."

Just smiling at Le's proposition, he said, "Well, I have two of hers so yeah, it's deal. Whose other cards do you have?" He asked curiously.

"I choose to believe you that, whether you like it or not," he told firmly. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair once more. "I never called you a liar. There's a difference between lying and being dramatic, yeah? And if anything, I know you're not a liar," he told in a quiet voice. He laughed at her reaction and shook his head amusedly. "Merlin Le, I was just joking. I think you really need to get some food in you," he commented. He nodded his head in agreement, "Fourth years are definitely the most difficult to tackle," he teased. "But there are exceptions, no worries. A Healer? Wow, that's cool. I plan on working towards that right after graduating," he admitted.

"Uhh... for that information, ask my Catalogue Person Who Records That. Also known as one Patricia Vorstenbach," she explained, chuckling, "seriously, though. I keep my entire collection at her house."

The Uchitel, not believing so, shook her head. "Yes, I am dramatic," she agreed, though half-heartedly so, "but my own brother - my dear, dear brother - he called me a liar! How dare he!" She looked at her brother in a forlorn manner for a second before erupting into a fit of giggles. "God, Frodo, why do you have to be so hard to be angry at for more than a couple of seconds?" She shook her head fiercely. "You know I get really annoyed with the sight of food nowadays unless they're just a couple of cookies," she sighed, fiddling with her fingers. Her eyes widened. "Really?" she asked, "what branch are you taking up?"

Frodo chuckled at that and gave Le a hug. "Alright, I'll check about it with her. Either way, you're free to have Morgan's card as long as I get Hufflepuff's," he told teasingly. "What other things do you do besides collect cards?" He asked.

"Assuming that you're talking about Alex, why did he call you a liar?" He questioned with a raised eyebrow. He grinned at hearing her giggles and replied with his usual air of innocence, "Oh, that's because I'm sweet and adorable." His smile fell and felt saddened. "Food annoys you? But that's not good sis, you need to start eating proper food again," he whispered. "I don't want anything happen to you, especially if it's because you're not eating. After all, it is possible to eat and be happy at the same time. "I'm not sure which branch and I don't think I know all the branches available," he admitted.

"Yay!" Lena grinned, glad to have accomplished her short-term goal of coercing Frodo into doing what she wanted. She didn't do that often, so every time she did manage to con someone (she felt like Charles now) into doing anything, it was just cause for her to celebrate. "Besides collecting cards," the Uchitel began, her face full of joy, "I go on aimless walks, play the guitar, cry, write in my moleskine, not eat, and eat candy."

She hoped Frodo didn't notice the contradictions she had made in those final items on her list.

The blonde frowned, shaking her head in mock disdain. "I'm not talking about my real brother, you clown!" she snapped, before breaking into a chuckle, "I'm talking about you!" She patted the elder boy gently on the shoulder. She burst out laughing at the thought of Frodo being either sweet or adorable. "No you're not!" she exclaimed, "you're old and prim and uptight." She stuck her tongue out at him.

In vain, Lena tried to explain her predicament in another way without hurting anyone. "Frodo, the sight of food makes me puke," she elaborated, sighing, "what makes you think I will have the capability of digesting it? And I'll be fine; candy gives me all the glucose I need, and I got a couple boxes of tablets over Christmas because they're the only things I can not puke at while looking at them." The Uchitel then pursed her lips. "Well... there's nursing, and uh... psychology... and... I don't know, ask Patricia!"

Frodo grinned to himself, happy to see the smile on his sister's face. He hated to see her upset and would do pretty much anything to make her feel better, even if it were ridiculous things. "Taking a walk helps a lot. How can you like to not eat and yet like to eat candy?" He asked with a raised eyebrow, feeling amused. "I would love to hear you play the guitar, you'll have to play for me on another day, yeah?"

"Hey, I never called you a liar!" He protested and blushed lightly. "All I said is you were dramatic, which is true and you can't argue with that," he stated. "Old, prim and uptight? Le,you make me sound like an old woman!" He remarked and shook his head, pretending to be offended deeply.

"Well, we need to fix that problem of yours, now won't we?" He asked, deciding that there was a difficult yet possible solution. "And no, you cannot to live the rest of your life by eating candy and some who-knows-what sort of tablets," he told determinedly. "Hm, both sound like good options. I may go for psychology then."

Lena shrugged her shoulders. "I stuff myself with candy when I'm bored," she replied, a vain attempt to try and elaborate on her statement, "but then I don't eat for a couple of hours..." She left out the fact that she once survived three days with just a few crackers and stuffing herself with sugary treats - don't forget water - and only ate properly when her schoolmates noticed her disappearance at the dinner table.

"I agree that I am dramatic, and because I am too tired to argue, let's just agree I am dramatic and you called me a liar," Lena sighed, waving Frodo off, "happy?" She then nodded enthusiastically at his next phrase, before pouting severely she almost - no, did - look like a child. "B-but... you are an old woman..." she frowned, "no. You're not an old woman - you're an old man. That's a million times worse."

Raising her eyebrows, Lena only replied with a simple, "Try me." Of course she wanted him to try and cure her of her plight. She knew it was never going to work, no matter what he did. "Psychology, huh?" she asked, "well, that's hard. I know that much." She shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe you can put on your portfolio you worked with a hopeless case like me."