sometimes i wish i could save you

Hugging her jacket tighter around herself, Lora made her way to the Prefects' bathroom and looked around to see if anyone else was there. She had got the password from Dyl and told Kait as well, so she could meet her here. She hadn't spoken to Kait since she came back, and she was still a bit shaken up.

She sat down near the bathtub and played idly with the water, waiting for her best friend to show up.

Kaitlen hurriedly rushed to the bathroom, what a strange place to meet, and spoke the password silently. She felt a slight chill run through her spine, for such a minor breaking the rule case, it felt good to do it again.

She saw Lora sitting down, playing the the water. She stood still for a few moments and cocked her head. "Are you amusing yourself, Mango?" Her voice rang out, as she smiled.

Lora turned to Kait with a forced smile and waved at her, motioning to sit next to her. "Amusement...I think I forgot what that's like," she muttered and stared at the water once again. "Please be safe Dyl," she murmured to herself subconsciously and closed her eyes. After what seemed like minutes, she forced herself to calm down.

"Tell me everything," she simply said with a raised eyebrow, indicating to the kidnapping. She hoped the Hrabrost wouldn't notice the fact that she was still angry and upset about the whole thing, but mostly angry.

She frowned at Lora, confused. "Lora? Are you o.k? Is something wrong with Dylan?" She asked. (OOC: Is this being placed before or after accident?)

"Why would I tell you the details, Lora?" She asked. "It's a lot of torture just to remember it, I dont' like burdening others with it. I guess I can say that I was kidnapped in Greece, along with my sister. He knocked us unconscious, I woke up thinking that I was in Jail, and was tortured. And I kept being tortured for different periods, througout the six months I was gone. Then I escaped," She finished her short tale.

"Now, something is wrong. What is it?"

As Lora listened to Kait, she felt her sink even more. She wanted to scream and cry, but chose to be silent. "For once, I wish you had listened to me Kait. I wish you hadn't gone off on your own," she told quietly and hugged her best friend. "And I didn't mean those details. Just that how you feel and if there's anything I can do to help..." she trailed off and stared at the bathtub.

"I was just thinking of Dyl in the hospital," she mumbled. "God, I hope he's okay, otherwise I don't know what I'd do." She felt her eyes water and quickly wiped so no tears would fall. "Did you catch up with Fro?" She asked, changing the subject.

"Since when do I listen, Lora?" She asked, calmly. Inside though, she was a waterfall full of hurt, revenge, and loyalty to protect her sister. "I feel fine," She lied. "I have caught up with most of my friends, my family. "She didn't mean her mom, she meant her friends. With a suckish family, she refereed her friends as her family.

"Dyl is tough," She told her feeling guilty. It was her fault that he landed there. "Yeah, we talked. Argued for a little bit. Then talked," She told her smiling slightly.

"I know you don't listen, but I wish you had listened just once," Lora retorted. "And why do you even bother lying? You know that I can see through you," she muttered, feeling confused and hurt why Kait would lie to her. "I highly doubt that you caught up with your mom," she told with a raised eyebrow.

"It's still hard to see him in the hospital like that," she whispered. "You shouldn't have given him that alcohol, he doesn't even like it!" She knew she sounded angry, but she couldn't help it. "Well, how is Fro?" She asked curiously.

"Oh well," She muttered, too low for Lora to hear.

"Pride?" She guessed, smiling slightly at her. "Come on, if I told you the truth, the world is probably ending."

"I mean my friends, Lor. I don't refer her as my family," She told her coldly.

"Sorry, can't control my drunk self," Kaitlen looked at her seriously. "I know you don't like me drinking so much, you know. I know that you are scared that I'd be depending on Alcohol for the rest of my life, but I know some day I will find a reason to stop. The same with Lena, except she found her's sooner than I."

"Good, I guess. Haven't seen a whole lot of him though, I miss him," She told her.

"I'm almost sure I'm your best friend Kait, I at least deserve the truth," Lora commented and shook her head. "Even if it exactly isn't that nice to hear."

"I suppose you didn't go to see her, then?" She asked with a sad smile. She wished she could talk to Kait's mother and maybe try to make her understand about her daughter's importance. But considering all the things the Hrabrost had told her, she didn't think it'd be such a good idea. "I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"Just cause you can't control your drunk self, doesn't mean you had to persuade him. And that's why I'm sort of mad at him also," she muttered. "Of course I'm scared for you! I've known people who had died because of alcohol addiction and it does worry that you drink so much at this age!" She exclaimed. She turned to the tub, and played idly with the water.

"At least he's alright, yes?" She smiled lightly. "We'll be going back soon anyway."

"You deserve it, I know that Mango. Heck you deserve everything there is. But it is just the manner of being ready, to tell people that didn't go through it with me," She whispered, slowly lowering herself in the water, fully clothed.

Putting herself fully underwater, she blinked her eyes taking in being underwater again. She yearned for the beach in Greece, where the water was crystal clear and she could surf.

"I've been thinking about it, I need money anyways," She told her as she surfaced.

Sighing, she wrung her deep red hair. "Be mad forever if you want, I deserve it." Kaitlen wanted alcohol so badly right now, it was like a urge that wouldn't go away.

"So you're saying that you'll talk to me when you're ready?" Lora asked with a raised eyebrow. "I don't get why is it so hard for you to understand that I just want to help," she said helplessly. "I know it's better to be one of those heartless people, but guess what? I'm not like that."

"Iris will come with you, right? Cause I don't want you going alone. And I don't think you want that either," she looked at the Hrabrost pointedly.

"Strawberry, I don't want to be mad at you. I want to be able to have fun with you for a long time, make good things happen and all." She admitted. "But none of that will come true if you continue to drink like this." She took a deep breath before speaking again. "Um, something happened this summer, while you were missing." She fidgeted her hands nervously and nearly whispered, "I was almost raped."

"I understand Lor," Kait rolled her eyes. "And I know you are not heartless, you are far from that." The red head added, getting the dirt out from under her fingernails.

"I am not facing my mother alone right now, Lor. It is too soon after the whole mess. My mother... you don't know what is like to be around her," Kait whispered, hugging herself. "It would be enough even for you to drink a little bit right after."

"Well, I am probably a addict by now Lora. It is not easy to stop drinking one day, and have no problem stopping. I haven't found a reason to make me scared to stop drinking, and I am sure that is what it will take me to stop drinking," The Drinker replied, frustrated with herself.

"WHAT HAPPENED!" Kaitlen shrieked, forgetting they weren't supposed to be here in the first place, and all their previous conversation. "WHO DID IT. WHO FREAKING HURT YOU ALORA MCCALL!"

"Oh yeah, you're the heartless one in this friendship," Lora teased and grinned lightly. "Sadly for you, I can't even pretend to be heartless."

She hugged the Hrabrost and sat next to her, linking her arm though Kait's. "You don't have to go anywhere until you're ready," she assured. "Besides, it's not like I would have let you go on your own anyway," she shrugged. She wanted to ask her best friend more about what goes on at home, but decided to save that for later.

"I'm not asking to give up drinking completely, just reduce the quantity," she sighed. "Try to do it step by step at least. So what, your friends and Frodo aren't good enough reason for you get scared and stop drinking?" She asked surprised. And me, she thought. "You think they won't care if something happens to you?"

Lora looked at the redhead, having expected this sort of reaction, naturally. "Just don't yell Kait," she hissed, hoping they wouldn't be found out. "It was a Muggle boy. We used to be friends when we were young, but he got involved in a bad gang and I hadn't seen him since I came to Durmstrang," she explained and let out a shaky breath. "He's always been trying to harass me, and looks like he succeeded." She hugged Kait closer, afraid she go away.

"Yep," The sarcasm was thick in her voice. "I am the heartless one."

"Thanks but I wouldn't want you to go," Kait whispered, sighing. Frodo was the same, he wanted to go with her. She didn't want any of her friends to see her mother.

Diving under the water for a few moments to think about what she should say. Sitting in the water, her dark red hair floating behind her, She wondered if it was a possibility that Kait could someday, stop drinking all together.

"I think," Kait told her, as she came up for air. "You guys are good for helping me along the way, but for me to start? No. Because... well, you know how independent and wild I am, Lor. Everything I do has an important reason."

Still growling, she stared Lora down. "Tell. Me. His. Name. NOW," Kait demanded, going crazy at the current moment. Fierce emotions was blocking her thoughts, and common sense right now. All she could think of killing the boy who hurt Lora.

"Scared your mom will beat me up?" Lora asked with dry humour. "I know you wouldn't want me to go, but I'll make sure you either take Iris or Frodo with you," she decided.

"Not good enough for you to stop?" She echoed, feeling upset. "So you don't love us enough or realize that we don't want you to die?" She shook her head and scoffed. "The only 'important' thing drinking will bring about is death."

"His name is Lawrence." She muttered and shuddered lightly as she was reminded of him. "I wouldn't want you to go aftef him, cause he's pretty brutal." She confessed. "I had to use magic...and then erase his memory."

"Iris," Kait said automatically. "She hasn't met mother yet." Sighing, Kait tilted her head back, trying to think how she should word it what she should say next.

"I know you guys don't want me dead, but Lora, do realize we live in a Magical World?" Kait tilted an eyebrow. "If we can regrow bones in a night, I think we can repair some stuff. And Lora, I need to find a reason... Ugh, this is hard to explain!" Kait exclaimed.

"He is a muggle, I am a witch with two fists that have punched before, and a wand. I think, I can defend myself," Kait muttered. "Hm... he doesn't remember it? Too bad, he should feel some shame. But then again, once I get to him, I am going to have him feel shame, for everything he has done," Kait leaned forward, saying the last few wards slowly.

He was going to pay.

"She's ready to come with you, yes?" Lora asked, just to be sure. She was probably overthinking this, but Kait's safety came first.

"What does living in a magical world have to do with alcohol?" She asked. "And you can't 'repair' your health every time. Eventually you're just going to have to stop," she told the Hrabrost, trying not be frustrated. "What is hard to explain?"

"It doesn't matter, Kait. The police will probably just lock him up anyway, because I went and complained to them the next day," she sighed. "My mother was quite angry at me for going off on my own, so I guess it's slightly my fault as well," she said. "Though it would be awesome to see you and Dyl beat him up," she grinned lightly.

"I-I think so."

"I am going to stop someday Alora!" Kait snapped at her, tired of this. "I am still recovering from being kidnapped- emotionally! How do you think, how hard it is to switch from living in a cell and tortured for six months, and wake up one day, in a Hospital, with a unlimited amount of food and care? How hard do you think, to recover from that?" Kait took a deep breath, and made some small waves, trying not to look at her. "There is still a lot of things, I am not telling you, or showing people. Like how I feel, Poker faces is something I am good at."

"It is sort of," Kait grumbled, but then looked at Lor with a dangerous spark in her eye. "Trust me, you will see us beat him up, at least me. He's gonna get more than a jail sentence."

Lora felt like she just got slapped. She never thought of herself as being irritating to her friends...until now. "So this is what when I care for my friends, huh?" She smiled humourlessly. "You don't tell me certain things and yet you expect me to understand what goes on in your head? Fine, I won't say anything," she told in a neutral tone, trying hard not to cry. She felt her heart break some more when she remembered that she couldn't go running to Dyl.

"Why do I get the feeling that you're going to murder him?" She asked with a forced chuckle. "I mean, I don't want you or Dyl to get into trouble; he's not worth it."

"I love the fact that you are looking out for me," Kait tried to fix the problem here. "I am not exactly expecting you to understand what is going on, but I want you to understand, that I am trying. Maybe not enough," Swimming towards Lor, she got out of the tub, and magically dried herself off. "I'm sorry."

"Well, I think your feelings are wrong. I am going to do worse than that. And it is worth it Lor. He hurt you, he gets hurt back."

"Well, if you're not telling me the whole thing, how do you expect me to understand?" Lora asked with a raised eyebrow. "I ask you every time, but you keep avoiding it." She sighed and said, "It's fine, you don't need to apologize. I'm probably overreacting anyway, like usual."

A part of her felt touched that Kait would go hurt anyone who hurt her. "People get hurt everyday, it's no big deal. I just wanted to tell you because sometimes I still get the nightmares...and I just want it to stop."

"Your not overreacting," Kait mumbled, sort of lieing. To her, Kait was, but to other people, probably not. "It's hard... It''s hard..." Kait whispered, wrapping herself tightly.

"Do people get hurt everyday by a dude who wants to rape her/him?" Kait asked demanding. "I think you might sleep better if you know he is not going to hurt you again," She snarled, angry at Lawrence for hurting her Lora.

Lora hugged her best friend tightly and kissed her forehead. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me now. I'm the understanding one, remember?" She joked. But she grew serious again. "Really though, don't beat yourself up so much."

"Not everyday, but mostly yes," she muttered, loud enough for the Hrabrost to hear her. "Look, what's the benefit of you hurting him? It's not going to change what happened."

Hugging her back, Kait froze a bit when Lor kissed her forehead. She wasn't used to this sort of comfort, such a motherly gesture. Kait was pleased though, it was like Lor was trying to give her what she didn't have. Or she was doing it without realizing it, but either way, she felt her heart lean on Lor's a bit more.

Kait needed Lora, no matter what happens. "Thank you," She whispered, blinking away tears. "You have no idea how much I appreciate everything you do."

"Yeah, but it's going to make him think twice before doing it to you, or another girl again!" Kait told her, not really happy.

Wiping away Kait's tears, she said with a slight grin, "Well, if you say 'thank you' once in a while, then I'll know you appreciate it." She put an arm around the Hrabrost's shoulder and asked, "Promise we'll always be best friends?" A part of her already knew they would be, but she worried that one day Kait might get fed up of her or even annoyed by her enough to leave.

She stiffened at the comment and mumbled, "Not again, it was bad enough the first time....I still feel the pain at times and it was so scary. All I kept wishing was for you or Dyl to have been there."