the tshering thing

So she had been hiding her emotions too long. Her sister dying... Faye was on her way as well, as much as she hated to admit or even think about it and now, to top it all off, Tesla had decided to move to Durmstrang. She had been sorted and all that, making it official. What am I going to do without her? Charlotte sighed as she slumped on the seat and took a drink of her vodka on the rocks. Sitting up quickly once more, she placed the glass in front of her, crossed her arms and legs and started at the fire in front of her. It wasn't going to to be a good night for her unless her mind was changed from the topic.

Had Tshering known how terribly unrequited love would affect her, she would not be going into a bar with an unlit fag looking at everyone like they were medium rare steak, but she was. Of course, she was there doing just that, because even though she had experienced unrequited love before it was the first time she had ever admitted it to anyone, and her heart got broken to a million pieces because of it. Love was a screwed up bitch.

Blue eyes scanned the place for someone she knew, and there she was. Charlotte, she believed. The Ravenclaw had demonstrated some fondness for the girl, which was why it was simply an instinct to plop down on the seat in front of her without bothering to ask if it was taken.

"What's up, West?" she asked, a smirk in place on her face.

"Tshering," Charlotte recognized the voice as her eyes glanced over to the girl. Her arms were still crossed along her chest as she turned to face the Ravenclaw, "Pleasure seeing you here." She hadn't seen the fourth year for some time now and it hadn't crossed her mind until Charlotte saw her face. She could sense that wasn't having a good time at Durmstrang so she decided to not even as about it. At least... not right now.

"What's with the fag?" The blonde as curiously as she tilted her head at it. "Didn't know you liked to smoke those cancer sticks."

"Back at cha," Tshering retorted, crossing her legs. She ordered a shot of firewhiskey in garbled Russian - she could really use the alcohol right now - and waited impatiently for it, tapping her foot. "The service here is bloody terrible," she muttered, shaking her head is disdain. Deciding that the silence was too much for her, Tshering attempted to start some small talk, "How's Durmstrang treating you, huh? Made any special friends?"

The Ravenclaw merely shrugged her shoulders, "These aren't cancer sticks; they're relaxers of the human mind. You know... they keep me from thinking shit so that I don't end up yelling at everyone."

"Not too bad but not so good," she replied briskly. Charlotte didn't really want to bother anyone with her problems. She didn't even do it with Tesla most of the times even though that was her best friend. Hearing Tshering mutter about bad service, she tilted her drink towards her as an offering. "What about yours?"

"Keeps you from yelling at everyone?" The blonde raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow in a skeptical sort of way as her head leaned back onto the chair's back and looked up at the ceiling. Her eyes soon flickered once more towards the other. "I only use them for stress relievers too. I had one entire pack in the last two days and I'm not proud of it all." Curiously, she glanced over to the cigarette, "What type of brand do you smoke?"

Tshering smirked, thinking vaguely about broom closets, though she never said why and she had no intention to. "There are a lot of hot guys around here," she remarked, her eyes focused on the shot of firewhiskey as it landed on her desk, "like Feliks, and Charles..." - her breath paused on his name for a while - "and that guy from Slushatel...

"How the hell am I supposed to know?" the brunette snapped, "I don't check up that sort of crap! I just get whatever I can and destroy my lungs with them!" She shook her head and pressed the cigarette in between her lips, before releasing a trail of smoke in the air. "See?" she replied, her voice calmer.

"Eh," Charlotte shrugged as she watched the other transfer student intently. "I don't think I would ever date a guy who's failed a couple of hears Tshering. Why would I date a guy who's stupid? Never heard of that Charlies boy but by the looks of you pausing, I'm assuming something went on and I think that boy, Treck or whatever, has a girlfriend. I would never date another girl's toy. Really, that's way beneath me."

The blonde rolled her eyes at the Ravenclaw's snappy attitude.

"You're quite snippy Tshering," Charlotte said coolly. "Just a simple question, really." She nodded off, rolling her eyes once again as the other girl blew her smoke out. "I'll try to bury you with a pack of cigarettes when you're about to be put six feet under ground when your lungs are all black, how does that sound? Of course, not that I'm encouraging for you to end your smoking habits."

"He failed a couple of years?" Tshering echoed, shaking her head, "Merlin, I had no idea. And Treck? No... that wasn't his name. Definitely not it. It was someone else... I see him with Haze a lot. They ain't together though, I'm sure." She didn't want to speak of Charles for a moment, but she realized that for her own sake and sanity, she must. "Charles... well... we met in summer camp, and we were awesome together. Then he told me he loved me, and at the same time he told me he fancied someone else. Whore." She scoffed in an attempt not to cry.

"There is nothing to live for, anymore," Tshering snarled, taking another lungful of the tobacco and blowing a large smoke ring into the air, "I've forgotten how to live; all I know are dance steps, and singing, and acting. Not to mention enamel destroying whitening treatments. Point is, there's no one else I love, and I'm going to let myself be buried six feet under ground, and no one will remember who I am."

"Tch," Charlotte said and laughed a little, "Boys. Can't live with them or without them. That's the saying muggles say." Rolling her eyes she took a drink and ordered herself another one, planning on getting somewhat buzzed that night. "What a little whore he is then," she scoffed. "No one does that. Claim their love and then say that you fancy someone else."

The Slytherin shook her head disappointingly as she gave the girl a pointed look, "Well, this is a... turn of events, I guess you could say. You're so... depressing Tshering, Merlin. You act like you lived twenty lives put togoether and say no one loves you. Well, I'll be damned." She rolled her eyes, "You know why you think you don't love anything else? Because you don't love yourself. Tell me Tshering, do you even love yourself? Because I'm sure as hell love myself and I don't give a flying shit if other people love me."

ooc: shitty ass post. sorry, i'm very tired.

"So what can you do?" Tshering asked, staring at her fag and shaking her head. She threw it away, the fag perfectly landing onto someone's hand. "You can't live with boys, yet you can't live without them," she repeated, and she laughed bitterly, "what sort of statement is that? That's just... contradictory. Boys... they mess with your hearts. They curl it up and smash it apart and then watch you pick up the pieces."

Tshering squinted her eyes and tried her best to hold her tongue, and her tears. She clenched her jaws and sighed, "Easy for you to say. You can feel shit. I dumped my feelings a while ago because I stopped caring. I stopped caring because... because... God, how the hell am I supposed to know? I'm not Merlin."

The fifth year sighed, annoyed with all the bullshit Tshering was saying out of her mouth, she thought it was all bullshit. "So you've got your heart broken a few fucking times, grow the fuck up, will ya?" Charlotte scoffed, "Tell me, let's hypothetically say you're best friend had their heart broken, what would you say? Tell them to keep their heart hidden for the rest of their lives that will lead into misery? Or tell them that it does't end there."

Oh Merlin, Charlotte thought, mentally sighing and rubbed her temples at her fellow Hogwarts student, "Look, just cry about it. Crying, chocolate makes it all better..." ordering an entire vodka bottle and it soon arrived, Charlotte slammed it it front of An- Tshering, "and Vodka. 100 percent vodka."