just blame the limelight

Staring blankly at the opposite side of the carriage compartment, he threw the ball delicately held between his fingers against it, barely reacting to the dull thwack of the rubber hitting the wall and bouncing back to stop beside him. 

But then, Julian was barely reacting to anything these days. He just felt uncontrollably empty. And he was pretty sure they weren't Karma's feelings. The feelings of hers that were swirling around were a powerful mess, changing from moment to moment. The beating he'd received was playing through his head like a first person movie every time he closed his eyes. Sleep was practically impossible, and when he did fall asleep, he'd wake up to find himself drenched in his own sweat, screaming. 

Groaning, he rubbed at his eyes, pulling his feet up to sit cross-legged. Empty didn't begin to cover the lack of anything he felt. He would've thought he was broken if it wasn't for the fear that captivated him whenever he thought of Kallie. She'd been kidnapped. By, well, people said it was the mafia, but personally he had this nagging suspicion that that Cooper guy had had something to do with it. 

Shaking his blond head, he leaned his head against the seat, fingers drumming against it before picking up the rubber ball and throwing it again. If there was one thing annoying him, it was the whispers that never seemed to forget his name. He could practically hear them muttering on about how he'd gotten beaten up. All he wanted to do was forget it, and no one was going to let him. 

Sighing, he flicked his eyes open at the sound of rustling feathers. Glancing out the window, he blinked over at the majestic owl before pulling himself up towards it. Opening the window, he watched the owl flutter inside, hooting its thanks before setting itself down, holding it's leg out.

Sitting down beside it, he took the letter and package, unrolling the roll of parchment. 

Julian,

Here's some chocolate and a hobbit (figurine, what, you think I'd go send you a hobbit? Think of the poor owl!). Try to smile?

Fate

PS. Don't worry about the thing in your bag. It's there for protection.

Chuckling softly at her letter, he shook his head, smiling down at the owl and the package. Returning back to the letter, he frowned slightly, "The thing in my bag?"

Reaching for the bag that lay on top of his trunk, he pulled it open, blinking down at the kitten inside. Shaking his head, he pulled her out onto his lap, grinning softly. "Hey, Nightmare,"

Purring softly, she nuzzled into his touch, rolling over in her sleep. Putting her down, he glanced back at the owl, who was edging slowly away from the cat. Pulling out a piece of parchment, he wrote Karma a quick thank you before attaching it to the owl and sending it off. 

Sitting back down, he grinned back down at Nightmare, pulling her back into his lap to watch the little kitten sleep, nibbling on the chocolate he'd been given. 

 

Ondrea wound her way along the central aisle of the carriage, idly glancing into the various compartments. She paused outside on, in particular, medium brown gaze peering in through the window at the single occupant.

Julian.

She probably should have stopped in to visit him - to really visit him. The girl hadn't been able to bring herself to do so, however. It wasn't like he would have had any shortage of visitors, anyway. And she had sent him another box of candies. They weren't friends, after all. He probably didn't even want her concern.

Ondrea wrinkled her nose at the persistent whispering, much of which carried the boy's name. Couldn't they just mind their own damn business, already? Heaving a sigh, Ondrea made her way into the compartment and took a seat on the opposite bench before glancing at the boy, as though she hadn't realized he was there.

"Hey, Rousseau," she greeted. "New pet?" She could tell it wasn't, not technically. The cat smelled of Karma, and faintly of panther. It was Karma Black's familiar, and Ondrea knew it, not that she'd say as much.

Blinking up at the sound at the compartment door opening, Julian smiled - or at least, tried to - at Ondrea. As much as he would've loved Karm's letters and gifts to automatically turn him back into the guy he'd been only a few short weeks ago, he knew that wasn't going to happen. Wondering for a moment if he was always going to be this way, he quickly shoved the idea away. He didn't want to think about that.

"Likewise, Drea," he said, looking back down at the kitten in his lap before glancing back up to meet her brown eyes. "Oh, thanks for the candy and letter. It was nice." Tilting his head down at Nightmare, be shrugged, "You can say that, I guess. More of a loan, than anything else, I think. Her name's Nightmare."

Ondrea didn't comment on the sudden nickname, nor the half-flutter it may or may not have caused in the area that was her heart. "You're welcome," she responded simply. Her gaze went to the cat. Most animals didn't seem to like her all that well. "Nightmare. Good name.

"So, ready for a new school year?" she asked. "Should be a good one, I think. No life-altering exams at the end of it, at least. Can you believe we're sixth year, already? Merlin, a lot has changed over the past few years, hasn't it?"

"It is. It's sort of ferocious and all, 'cause nightmares aren't exactly pleasant, but at the same time - well, I guess the only upside to a name like Nightmare are the nicknames." Amused by the idea that he was plagued by nightmares and now had a Nightmare, he smiled wryly. Blinking tiredly, the cat awoke, stretching and yawning before looking lazily over at Drea. Yawning again, Nightmare nuzzled closer to Julian, falling back asleep.

"Is anyone ever really ready for school?" the blond mused with a tiny shrug. "Not really, but I'd be bored at home so I guess school's a welcome distraction." It was better than spending all his time worrying, at least. "It can only get better from here," he agreed dully, rubbing at the dark circles around his eyes. Pulling his hands away from his face, he nodded, "I know, it makes me feel old. And in two years we'll be gone, moving on to bigger and better things." And what exactly was he planning on doing after graduation? Ignoring his lack of plans, he rubbed at the bridge of his nose.

"Like how just a few short years ago, you were that quiet little girl. Now look at you."

Collin knew it was time to head back to school, but it was not the same school any more and he just didn't want to be there it was where he lost his better half and it was like a piece of him was missing.

He had enjoyed his time with Kass over the summer it had kept his mind away from his brother for the most part, but the dreams at night were hard. He still blamed himself for not being there enough for Casey.

He had heard that Julian had been in the hospital and he had actually gone to visit him but when he got their the girls seemed to take over the room so he stood outside waiting for them to leave and they never seemed too. Granted he had never really like Julian, even though now he couldn't tell you why, but he was a regular person in his life and he could not imagine not seeing him every day in school either. He had enough loss in his life for the year.

He had reached the carriage that he had come to first and went inside. He noticed that Julian and Ondrea were already there. He climbed in and went and took the seat next to the opposite side of the door by the window. He just stared out the window and hoped that Kassidy would arrive soon. He had told her he would meet her at the carriage because he had things he had to do first.

Ondrea gave a wry grin. "I guess not," she agreed. "But it is better than staying at home.

"Bigger and better things? That's... brilliant, I'm sure, only I have no clue what I want to do with my life. I suppose I ought to figure that out sometime in the next couple years, huh?"

The girl groaned. "Let's just forget that little girl, shall we?" she said, half-joking. Her voice grew soft, gaze going a bit distant as her mind went to her brother. "To think, it took almost dying..."

Her gaze went to the newcomer, whom she offered a small smile. The past year hadn't seemed a very kind one for a lot of people.

Glancing over at Raven, the look was the only indication of acknowledgment that the Prideux made to the other boy before he turned back to Ondrea.

"Yeah," Julian said softly, memories flashing of the place that had been his house for over fifteen years but never really home. Shaking the thoughts away and swallowing the lump in this throat, he tugged absentmindedly on the chain around his neck.

An actual expression - relief - flooding his face, he leaned back. "You don't know what you want to do either? I guess, with the Minister," his voice wavered slightly at the mention of her, but he continued nevertheless, "being my mentor and all, people expect me to go into the Ministry, but I really don't know if that's what I want to do with my life."

Eyes sparkling for the first in weeks, his lips curled into a smirk, "Aww, why? You were adorable when you were little." It was, well, not funny, but interesting that almost dying had been what had pulled her out of her shell while it forced him back in his for the first time in years. Suddenly having a million questions for her, he opened his mouth before glancing over at Raven and shutting it. Later. He'd just ask her later.

Lisette strolled through the hallways, shocked by how everything seemed so different, and yet so familiar. She had been in this carriage eleven times, and it was always a welcome sight, as were the people inside.

But now, she had a different outlook on the world. Of course, now that her father was recovering, she was a bit more herself. Still, going through that, and watching her friends go through their own things.... well, it had changed her. She felt a lot older after only a year.

Finally hearing a set of familiar voices, she turned into the adjacent compartment and a smile spread across her face, "I missed you guys so much." She plunked herself into a seat, then noticed the cat sprawled across Julian's lap, "I didn't know you had a cat." She gave a tiny girlish squeal as it flicked its tail in its sleep, "Ooh it's the cutest thing I've ever seen!"

Collin continued to look at the window and it was obvious that they could careless that he was in the carriage with him. Granted they did glance at him to at least they knew he was physically there.

He almost laughed outloud when Lisette giggled about the cat, instead he smirked towards the window. Wondering where Kass was at.

Ondrea wrinkled her nose. "I was a mess when I was little," she stated baldly. She felt no need to put it more euphemistically. That she was significantly more pathetic than others had never evaded her when she was younger.

"Hello, Lisette," Ondrea greeted the other girl warmly. "Looking pretty, as always." Blondes were usually more her thing, as far as attraction went, but there was just something about Lisette... Ondrea thought it might be the girl's eyes, perhaps. She wasn't entirely sure.

Quietly, she regarded the Raven boy for a moment. "You don't seem to talk much. Are you usually quiet or is it just when I'm around?" It was an honest question. Both of the Raven's had seemed rather sullen from her own exposure to them, but she had never really had the chance to get to know them.

Looking up at the sound of another entrant, he blinked up at Lisette for a moment before giving her a little wave. Out of all the Angels, she would be the one he'd rather talk to out of the four. It wasn't that he didn't like the others, but the de Venins needed to time to grieve, and him and Ninette weren't on speaking terms (again). "I missed you too." Julian said, reaching for more of Karma's chocolates. "You're a thousand times better to be around then the Healers at St. Mungo's."

Chewing on the chocolates, he smiled - one of the rare real ones he gave out these days. "I didn't either until I found her in my bag. Karma's way of keeping me safe from the big, bad things in the world." Watching Lisette for a moment, he asked, "Wanna hold her?"

Pulling out the Hobbit figurine from the package, he fiddled with it before looking up at Drea. "You weren't a mess," he frowned. "Quiet, yes. Shy, same thing. But not a mess. If that's a mess then I'd hate to see what Nine is." He hadn't meant that, had he? Nine'd always been a little out there at times, but she wasn't a total wreck. No, the only person he could really call a mess was himself.

Glancing over at Raven, Julian frowned slightly. Him, quiet? No, the boy seemed to have no shortage of things to say when it came to him. The idea of him being quiet was as laughable as the idea of someone he knew falling in love with him. It contradicted everything he'd ever known, both about Raven and himself.

Kass walked into the carriage and seen that Collin was already there. She really wasn't ready for school to start. She just was enjoying that Collin was at her house for the rest of their summer. But she was glad to start her sixth year. Last year she was worried that she wasn't going to pass any of her owls.

But she then smiled as she sat next to Collin. Kass really didn't know the other people that was there. Well not that well, and then there was Julian. She remembered when she was sick last year she accidentally throw up on him. He hated her for that. But it was something that she couldn't control.

She then kissed Collin on the check. " Sorry I'm late."

Lisette gave a small smirk, "Who isn't?" Like Julian, she'd had the pleasure of spending plenty of time around the St. Mungo's healers. Frankly, they were the reason she was being extra careful about staying healthy.

"Karma..." She frowned for a moment, sucking her teeth in thought, "Ohh, the girl from the hospital!" That's right... she had a cat, didn't she?

Her eyes lit up at the suggestion, "Can I really?"

She was about to eagerly reach out for the cat, but was distracted by someone entering the room. Lisette smiled, her head becoming a little bit hazy, "Hi Ondrea... Umm... Thanks..." She frowned a little at the floor, then shook her head and looked out the window at the clouds racing by the carriage.

Collin noticed that Drea was talking to him, and wondering why he was being so quiet, what did he have to talk about any more. His brother was gone what was there to talk about. He has never had anything against Drea, the only people that he didn't like was Julian and Ninette but they were for reasons known to no one.

"No, Drea, I have nothing against you. I just don't have anything to say at the moment. Whats the point?" Collin sighed

Collin looked up at the door when he heard it open and he perked up a little when Kass came in. Currently she was the only light he had left, and he felt good when she kissed his cheek.

"Its ok, your here now."

Kass smiled as she seen that she had Collin's attention when she walked in. This time last year he was playing hard to get and was flirting with everybody. But she kissed on the cheek, just to let him know that she loved him. And that she was sorry that she was late.

“ Ok that is good.”

Collin loosened up a little once Kassiday got that there, but that didn't mean he was not feeling his loss. This was the first time he was going to school without his brother since they went to kindergarten at the local wizarding elementary school his parents had started because they didn't believe in send their children to muggle school.

Collin took a hold of Kass's hand and leaned back and looked out the window, he was starting to get a little shaky but didn't want to take the potion out of his bag to drink.

Kass could tell that he loosened up just a little bit. But she knew that he had to still be feeling the loss of Casey. And she was sure that it was going to take him a long time to heal. She was going to do whatever to make him feel better. That is why he was spending the rest of the summer break at her house. And in her bed, that was because she had to beg her mum.

She then grabbed Collin's hand and seen that he was looking at the window.

"I couldn't get out an entire sentence without stammering," Ondrea pointed out dryly. "Everywhere I went, I half-expected someone to yell at or hurt me for no reason. I was practically afraid of my own shadow. If that's not a mess, then messes don't exist."

The girl laughed. "I didn't think you had anything against me," she told Collin. "Some people just get quiet around people they don't know, yeah?

"Hello, Kassidy," Ondrea greeted the newcomer.

She gave a small smile as she noted Lisette's response, her own gaze moving to watch through the window. It was a good job heights was never one of her fears.

Looking up at the sound of another entrant, the Prideux prefect frowned at the girl, but turned away, having nothing to say to Kassidy.

"It's supposed to be a compliment," Julian said with a smirk, shaking his head. "Because sadly, there are people much worse than Healers." His thoughts trailing off to his father, he frowned down at his feet, absentmindedly petting the Familiar in his lap.

Looking back up at Lisette, he nodded, "Yeah, that's her." Momentarily wondering if he should add that she was the one who'd saved his life, he decided against it. That would bring up memories he didn't want to relive. "Nightmare's here to protect me."

Giving her a little amused smirk, Julian said, "Of course. I wouldn't suggest it and tell you no." Frowning slightly as she didn't take the kitten, he glanced down at the sleeping cat before looking from Ondrea to Lisette, raising an eyebrow. Was there something going on between them?

"Hurt you?" he echoed, staring at Drea. "Why would people hurt you? Or were you just one of those really paranoid kids?" But then, wasn't he? He knew he wasn't going to attacked, but that didn't stop him from flinching away from all touch. And he was still too terrified to head back to Muggle France, on that off chance his father would find him and fulfill his promise.

Frowning again, he glanced out the window, the familiar yet frightening lurch of his stomach drawing his gaze down to his feet. Six years shuttled back and forth from Beaxbatons did nothing to quell his fear of heights.

Ondrea gave a self-deprecating laugh. "I don't remember anyone ever hurting me," she replied honestly, "and the worst I ever received were a few sneers and pitying glances for stammering all the time. I was just... afraid."

She didn't remember anything before coming to live with the Montgomerys. In fact, Ondrea remembered nothing about her biological family, at all. However, the damage wrought upon learning at the age of six that her birth parents had planned to kill her for her magic had run deep. It had taken a worse experience to finally pull her from the little shell into which she had retreated for so long.

Sometimes, she was still afraid, it just didn't rule her anymore.