Stars and Boulevards

"You never know," Julian shrugged. "It just might slap some sense into me." Rubbing the back of his neck, he followed his gaze to Nightmare, who was blinking up at both of them. Shaking her head at them, she let out a muttered meow as she stretched. Sometimes, I'd wish she'd let me. "Karma gave Nightmare to me to protect me. Sometimes, I think she needs her more."

Glancing at her, he fidgeted, obsessively rubbing his fingers together, barely noticing. It couldn't have just slipped his mind. That was a - a simple answer to a problem and he couldn't even get that. Had all the brains in their family went to Corin? Was he just - Julian had always known that compared to his older brother, he was nothing, but the full force of that realization had never hit.

Until now.

Rubbing his forehead furiously, he let out a shallow breath that sounded suspiciously like a sob, his hands shaking as they kneaded against the grass in front of him.

Glancing up at Ondrea, he flinched as she extended her hand out towards him, but didn't move away. "Sometimes," he admitted, rubbing quickly at his eyes, "I swear, one day no one's going to talk to me anymore because of it."

Hugging himself, he stared down at his sneakers, resting his head on his knees. God, Monique had been right. Everyone was going to get sick of him sooner or later, and in the end, it'd be his fault.

All his fault.

And he was terrified that she was going to come barging back into his life to constantly remind him of just how right she'd been.

"I'm sure the half vampire will be fine," Ondrea said. Karma, from her experience, had always been strong, tough. Everything Ondrea had wished she could be as a third year.

Ondrea did not react to his flinch, taking his remaining stationary as permission to touch him. Resting her hand lightly along his jaw, she stroked his cheek with her thumb.

"Well, since you're no good at lying to me, anyway, there's no reason for me to stop talking to you," she said reasonably.

And it was happening again, as she watched him wrap his arms about himself in a self hug, looking absolutely miserable. Her emotions stirred. Ondrea told herself that it had been an emotional morning and she just felt bad for him. And she did care about him - she'd admitted as much. That was all, though. It was nothing more.

All or not, Ondrea leaned into Julian, wrapping her arms around him. Then, she was hugging him, too.

"She'd better be," he muttered, half to the Angelique beside him and half to himself. If it knocked him out if she so much got attacked, what the hell would happen if (when) she died? He - He'd - It'd - He'd die. Whether true or not, the paranoia was seeping in.

Shivering, he barely noticed as his breathing began to speed up. He did however, notice Ondrea's touch, and with a jolt began to realize just how fast his heart was racing. But whether it was because of Ondrea or because of his breathing, he wasn't sure.

"You'd better not," Julian let out a shaky laugh, "I don't think - I don't what I'd do if - if -" Voice faltering, he frowned. What did he even mean by that? Shaking his head slightly, he found himself suddenly very confused about just what he felt about Ondrea Montgomery.

He flinched. Of course he did, that wasn't even really a question at this point. He'd been flinching from everyone for the last month. Ondrea was no exception.

He hadn't touched her, hadn't let himself, ever since he'd hit her back in June. But now he just wanted someone to hold onto. Ignoring the lump in his throat and tears beginning to wet his eyes, he slowly pulled his arms from around himself to wrap around Drea.

But he didn't cry. That was one thing he wouldn't let himself do.

"I won't," Ondrea promised softly. Not talk to Julian..? She had a sneaking suspicion that the only way that would be possible would be if he didn't want to speak to her.

Julian's heart was beating rapidly, and girl wondered just what he was thinking about to make it go at such a frantic rate. She gently tightened her hold on him, trying to provide him just a bit more comfort.

Ondrea hadn't expected the boy to return the embrace. He seemed oddly reticent to touch her, at all, possibly recalling their interaction back in June. She didn't think on it often, herself. She had pretty much asked for him to hit her, after all. But then, Julian did hug her back, his arms winding about her.

Swallowing back the lump which suddenly formed in her throat, Ondrea held him tighter.

"Good," Julian nodded, giving her a weak little smile. There were people he was used to not talking to. If anything, he'd become used to not talking to Ninette. But Lisette and Drea (and by extension the de Venins, but they were across an entire ocean)? He didn't want to stop talking to them.

And besides, both of them knew things about him that he didn't even want them to know. If he stopped talking to them, part of him was terrified that everyone would know.

Ignoring those thoughts and trying to force his heart to slow down all over again, Nightmare frowned up at him, bounding over to gently nuzzle against him.

As Ondrea tightened her grip on him, he gave her a reassuring smile, and a jerky little nod. It made him feel at least the tiniest bit better that she cared. He needed as many caring people as he could get.

Part of him was still scared to touch her. He could still - well, she was a werewolf, so it'd probably be difficult to really hurt her, but he was still terrified. So his grip on her didn't tighten, but it didn't weaken either.

As she held him closer, he rested his head on her shoulder, sighing softly.