don't hold your breath

The Blackened Forest. How it lookes stunningly beautifull with moonlight and the falling snow. Tuckers boots crunched on the crisp layer of snow as he found a way to a meadow. His eyes looked up to the night sky, looking at the half moon. His thoughts lingered on the events of the year, how he meet people, gone to a school, being in the mafia...

He let out a breath of air which you could see, clearly. he has gone so far into the world, which amazed him. He was a deeper shade of blue now, a darker one in fact. He was finally of age.

His thoughts now lingered on a certain Blonde, playing memories of her in classes, out about and how he mett her. She is a tease, no doubt about it. But she was takinh and he, was acting like a love struck puppy. She wasn't his, but oh how he wished.

His sences picked up as he heard light foot steps coming his way into the meadow. The heart beat was light, but fluttering. It amazed him that if he listened closer, he could hear many things. The person stopped, but he knew who it was. He was certain. "Good evening Darhlin," He said as he continued to look up at the half moon, but his eyes looked out at the corner to see her.

Ashleen walked through the shadows silently, the only sound was her feet softly sinking into the snow.

Snow.

Last time she had been in this forest Tre had made it snow. Tre had-

He had been hers back then. Now he... he wasn't allowed to be hers. Not if she wanted to stay here - not if she wanted to be anywhere near him.

That was her choice now. She could try to have him one last time, hold him close, hug him, kiss him... but the second she was caught, it was right back to America with her, thousands if not millions of miles between them. Ashleen had barely understood how she survived the first time, but to do it again?

She didn't think she could.

But what was her other option? Stay here and watch him with... those whores. She didn't even know who would be clinging to her Tre, but that was besides the point. If it wasn't her...

She didn't know which would be worse.

"Cowboy," she gave a slight smile as she stopped, looking at the boy in the meadow. The gears in her head were slowly starting to turn. Though she hardly recognized it. "What are you doing out here all alone, in the middle of the night. Its dangerous you know, not to meantion cold."

||Outfit||

"Dangerous, The word doesn't mean anything to me anymore Ashleen," Tucker looked from the night snowing sky and turned his head to look at the girl. He sadly smiled at her. His eyes looked at hers, he could see her sadness, in the moment. The snow fell around her and he smiled.

"Cold never effects me as much, darhlin. As for me being out here, I though I would hunt, I love to hunt in winter. But for some reason I can't be bothered anymore right now. I think my brain is going into over drive with things." Tucker admitted as his right hand held the box in his coat pocket.

"Are you cold Ashleen? You can have my coat if you want?" He asked, he wouldn't want her cold now. He started to shrug out of it as he took hold of it and walked over to her, placing his long coat over her shoulders.

"Check the right pocket, Theres a late christmas present for you Ashleen, you deserve it." Tucker said to her with a smile. He wasn't cold at all.

Spoiler:

Ashleen gave a slight smile, "It means something entirely different to me... then it use to."

She sighed, and began to protest the offer of the coat, but already found it drapped over her shoulders. Still the added warmth even on top of her own coat was nice.

"You didn't need to do that. One thing you'll learn about me, I always whine about the cold far more than I need to. Russia was probably not the best place to move me."

She gave a slight laugh, which turned into a curious frown as she fished in the pocked. She blinked at the braclet and ring, her eyes softening.

"You didn't have to do that; now I feel bad I don't have anything to return," she teased slightly, her smirk not quite as mischeivous as she could usually manage. "Does a hug count as a gift? I think its all I have to offer."

"I don't need anything in return Blondie, Your friendship means so much more, I just wanted a excuse to get you a gift because it's Christmas." Tucker teased aswell as he watched her open it. He loved the colour of it, it matched her eyes.

"Don't feel bad Blondie, a hug will make up for it." Tucker beamed a grin at her as he opened his arms up to her as he slowly made his way to her. He finally caught her into his arms noticing a tad bit at how small she was. Oh, he was now happy, he had her finally in his arms.

Ashleen gave a tired little smirk in responce to him and wrapped her arms around him as he approached.

"Excuse or not, it was nice," she said softly, not pulling back right away. She didn't have feelings for Tucker at all. Perhaps he was a friend, he was nice enough, they had interesting talks, but her heart would always, always be Tre's. But the contact to another being, to anyone... felt nice. She needed it. "Thank you."

After a long moment, she remembered herself and pulled away.

"So how was your christmas Tucker? Did you do anything interesting?"

His emotions started to flood within his body as he suddenly relized that he had her in his arms. The fact which was getting to him was that she hadn't pulled away yet. His eyes widened and for once, truely smiled. What a picture it would be, her with in his arms while the snow slowly fall around them. He tilted his head to the side as the pulled away, a smile tugging at his lips. He was becoming a softie when he was this her.

"My christmas was good. I went to Italy, Passo Tonale. Skiing is one of my best past times and it was great to feel the rush of speed on my skies and snowbored, instead of a broom. Maybe next time you can come with me, you will just love the beauty of being 3000 feet up in the montains." Tucker had to really agree with what he just said to Ashleen.

"So how was your christmas? Get what you want from Santa?" A deep chuckle came from his chest as he said it, he grinned at her in amusment.

"Can't say I've ever tried skiing," the girl said, tilting her head, as she thought about it. "I suppose that would be quite the veiw. Skiing meant too much cold... outside, in the cold. Not my thing. I was more of the curl up in the ski lodge with hot chocolate kind of girl."

The chuckle that came out of her own mouth was short and bitter. "Not exactly. I did get... something though. Not sure when I asked for it, but I got it."

"Oh, trust me, you will be warm with muggle skiing gear on. But sittinf by the fire with hot drink is good, with marshmallows. But you get warm while sking anyway." Tucker muttered as he looked at the snow, noticing it was getting deeper slightly.

He looked up straight away at her face. He noticed the hardness, bitterness in her voice. "You want to talk about it Ashleen? You don't have to, but if you need a friend to talk too. I'm always here."

"It has to have marshmellows," she quipped easily. "Its nothing without marshmellows, hardly know how you can call it hot chocolate. But, maybe I'll keep that in mind, try it sometime - though you better promise me I still get my Hot chocolate, and fire place."

She smiled slight, and bounced on her feet. The meantioned of cold making her think more about the cold currently around her. Whatever, this was what she had wanted. SHe wanted to be away from everyone and just-

"What's there to talk about? Tre- Tre and I-" she bit her lip and shook her head, "Lets just say not my best christmas, and leave it at that."

Tucker placed a hand on her cheek for a moment. "It's ok darhlin, You don't have to talk about it. Just try to clear your mind about it for the moment. It sometimes help if you do that. And I promise you, you can have your hot chocolate and fire place." Tucker smirked sadly at the girl in front of him. he dropped his hand and tilted his head.

Tucker noticed she was a bit cold, he got his hand out and placed a non-verbal spell on her, to keep her warm. He placed his wand back and looked up at the sky. "Never ending snow it seems. Do you like ice skating, Ashleen?" he asked her, knowing that the lake was frozen from the bed to the top.

Part of her wanted to flinch back from the touch, bat the hand away. It wasn't Tre's hand, and if it wasn't Tre then it could still not be safe.

But the part of her that was longing for contact, for someone else to take her problems and say it would be alright, just wanted to curl into the slight embrace, take any and all comfort that she could from it.

In the end, she did neither things, giving no reaction at all. She waited for the hand to drop back down before she could speak.

"Trust me," she muttered, almost under her breath, "I've tried."

And she had tried. Anything would be easier than not thinking about it. If she could truly push it all away and just-just-

If she could push it away, if she could push him away... then she wouldn't be herself. She wouldn't be Ashleen.

She wouldn't know who she was, because in the end he was as much a part of her as she was herself.

"You seriously overestimate my ablitiy to ignore cold," she said, a ghost of her usual smirk pulling at her lips, as a slight bubble of warmth came around her. Not that she really noticed. "However... I have managed to ignore it on occation, and skating has been... tolerable."

"One must agree with Tolerable. But why out here in the coldness of the night. One would imagine that you, would be in a warm bed by a warm fire, with a hot chocolate and a good book. I think there is more things worse than cold. A dementor is much worse." Ticker grinned to her, tilting his head to get a better view of the moon, no cloudes in sight as the snow stooped falling around them.

"I love winter, then I detest it. It brings up the memory at how my father was killed in a crash, by a drunk. Muggle cars a crap in bad weather, more worse with a shit driver behind them." Tucker's eyes went dark, remembering the memory ever so clearly.

"Warm nights, and hot chocolate are left for happy memories and good moods, the only thing to take my mind off of what I am now, is to hide out in what I destest most. I can not pout over lost love, if I am pouting over bitter cold. Or... so I had hoped."

She wasn't really sure it had worked. It had merely piled onto the things that she wished to pout about.

"My mother and brother were killed in a car crash, though it was summer not winter. We had spent the day at the beach - I was too scared to go into the water. She had promised we'd get me in next time... only," she shrugged her shoulders, her tone simple, as if this were a fact and nothing more, "There never was a next time."

Tucker's face dropped a little, a sad look becoming cold. Fate could be crule. "I remember every bit of it. I was sitting in the back of the car, I was 6 at the time and we were talking about rugby, my dad was a fan of the muggle sport. Then it happened. I woke up a month later with a saved head injury." Tucker said quietly as he looked up to a certain star, his dad that picked it out to him when he was young.

"I'm truely sorry to hear that, Ashleen. You didn't deserve that," Tucker shuded as his eyes glimpsed into the girls past, closing his eyes tightly at the memory. He brought his arms tightly across his chest as a icey shiver came across him, even though he was warm.

"Are you still scared of water?"

Ashleen shrugged her shoulders at his pity, brushing it off rather than taking it in, "I got over it. That is life is it not? It does what it wants and we all just... need to get over it."

Her tone was low and blunt. Even though she wasn't being completely truthful with the boy or herself. She didn't get over it, not really. She resented everything about that night, everything about her life after.

It was the one point in time she would change if she could.

"No... not scared. I could never be scared of something so..." 'Tre' had been on the tip of her tongue, but she didn't want to go there. Not with this boy... just not now. Possibly not at all. "But, I never did take a liking to it. Not really. It was just too... much, I suppose."

"One day you might start to over come the fear of it. It will take time, I still don't like cars, but the fear is still there. Sometimes I just wish that I had a vision of it so I could of avoided it. I see others peoples death sometimes, but I think I was too young to see it." Tucker muttered as he held back the memory yet again.

"So, Are you looking forward to be back at School again?"

"Depends," Ashleen shrugged, "School I suppose gets me away from.. who am I kidding? I'm going to be watched where ever I go. School just might give me the illuision I'm free to do whatever I wish."

Except whatever she wished would get her a one way ticket out of the country. And there where would she be? How would she-

The gears that had slowly begun to spring to life in her head, finally made their way through their work, slowling down with a sharp tick.

She was supposed to be seeing other people, wasn't she? Ordered to forget about Tre.

"Hey, Tuck," her voice was soft, almost unsure of herself. What was she doing exactly? She couldn't be cheating because well... but... "Do you think..."

She shook her head.

"You know what, nevermind. You're probably sick of me anyways - I'll just..." She pointed over her shoulder, turning in the snow.

He listened closely, taking in what the blonde girl had just said. His eyes widened of course, he had guessed why she was down, but was there even a chance? if there were.... He smiled at her stutter, watching her with sligh amusment as she seemed ... nervous?

His face dropped a bit as she turned around and he quickly moved and took hold of her small hand gentally. "I didn't say anything like that Blondie. I'm Deffinatly not anywhere sick of you. You actually nice company to have. Now take a deep breath and breeth out. Carry on woth what your going to say Ashleen, nothing to be worried about here."

Her movement was stopped by a hand. It wasn't forceful, comanding or even that strong. It was just a hand. She knew multiple ways to break out of such a grip.

And yet...

She didn't.

Instead, looking down at the hand, she did as he had told her. Took a deep breath in, and then slowly let it out again.

"You know, sometime when you aren't doing something less important, you should think about taking me to dinner."

She let that hang in the air for a moment, before giving a slight shrug of her shoulders.

"Up to you, of course - but this is probably a limited time offer."

His heart actully speed up. This wasn't meant to happen right? She was meant to be with half breed? Till the end... He only knew that. His eyes widened to the max as he looked down at her, a smirk coming onto his lips, he just wanted to let his litlle kid come out and jump up and down. He battled with his emotions.

"And It was totally on my mind just now. What about I cook dinner and throw in a hot chocolate. Or take you out and make it into a sort of surprise." Tucker asked as he ran a hand sort of nervously through his hair watching her closely.

Calming down slightly, Ash realized she knew this. She could play this game. She was returning to her element. She knew how to control, play the field.

He wanted her. She had known that. If he wanted to get her... he'd do...

"I'd never say no to hot chocolate, but the details are up to you cowboy," she mirrored his smirk with one of her own. "I already did the asking for you - You have to uphold the man's role to some degree don't you?"

"Would you also like me to ask you the normal way?" Tucker said with a bemused laugh as he winked at her. He stood up straight, bringing his boots together, tap his heels together and bowed in front of her, tilting his head to the side as he watched her.

"Miss D'Angelo, please would you do ones honor and accept to go to dinner with me?" Tucker smiled, taking the girls hand once more and bringing it up to kiss it lightly, letting it go to his dissmay. His raised his eyebrow, waiting for the girls answer, even though he already knew it.

She watched him, a small smirk tugging at her lips at the formal way he went about it. He was amusing her to say the least, and for the briefest moment she forgot about her problems and her mood.

But then it all came rushing back to her as she tried to form her responce. Sure, she might have already said it once, made up her mind then, but that had been when she was asking, not accepting. There was always a chance he could have said no, she could justifiy her phrasing, or what her intention had been.

Now...

She was looking at his face, but her mind was glimpsing someone else. Taking a deep breath she pushed those thoughts away. This wasn't...

This was buisness. That was it - self preservation.

"Well," her voice shook. She paused for half a second before continuing in a stronger voice, "When you put it like that, why not."