tired of being what you want me to be.

Belle sat down in the dining hall, her eyes red and puffy and her face miserable, as always. She was losing sleep again. It was the moon. She didn't know when it would be full again, but the one thing she did know was that she wasn't looking forward to it. Not one bit. Because the full moon meant pain, and anger, and hurt... Not just to herself. But potentially to anyone.

Bumble. That's what they'd all called her back home, because she was ungraceful. Because she was never upright, because she slouched and was always falling over. Bumble... Stupid names. And Belle. What kind of a name was "belle", for a girl who was covered in scratches and always in pain? It wasn't. Belle wasn't a name for someone like her...

Mel walked into the Dining Hall to get food and was surprised to see a very tired, beat up looking girl sitting at the Angeliqué table. She walked over, surveying the girl's scratches And bruises as she went. "Hi," she said as she slipped into the table across from the older girl. "You look like you need a nap. I'm Amélie Blanchard, what's your name?"

Belle shook herself out of her thoughts as she realized the presence of another girl. She was younger than her, clearly, and probably wouldn't understand what she was going through. Nonetheless, she looked up and smiled weakly at her, crossing her twig-like arms atop of the table. Such bad manners would have gotten her a scolding with the Appleby's - one of the reasons she was glad to have come to the school.

"Hey. 'm Belle, Belle Ballard. It's nice to meet you, Amélie," the words came out like a long sigh, but they were clear enough to be heard without much straining or difficulty.

Mel smiled at the girl gently. "Nice to meet you. Are you ok? You do look really... Worn out." Mel wondered if she was beaten at home, but somehow, that didn't seem likely. The girl looked like she could take care of herself, worn out or no. "Basically, you look like me when a dance routine isn't going the way I want it to and I spend longer than I should on it. Especially if I'm falling a lot during it."

Belle straightened out her back and dropped her hands to her lap. She didn't know why she'd come to the dining hall, any feeling of hunger that she'd been experiencing beforehand dissipated and all that was left was fear. Three days, she guessed. By the look of the moon last night, it was two to three days away before she'd turn. Marvelous, that's just what she needed. To return back to lessons all scratched up. Ugh.

"Mm? Yeah, kiddo. I'm fine. Tired, I guess," Belle smiled and poked at her skirt. "You dance? Cool. I've never really tried it myself... Never had much time. Or the elegance, now it comes down to that..."

Mel brightened. "Yeah, I love dancing. It makes me feel graceful and powerful and beautiful and just... amazing. I can teach you how if you want," she offered. "Anyone can be graceful with enough practice. It gives you energy too," she added. "Why are you so tired anyway?" she asked. "Can I help?"

"That's pretty cool, kiddo," Belle grinned. "I'm more of a long distance runner than a dancer," she chuckled inwardly at her lame attempt of a joke from her past. Running away. Aah, what an idea that had been at the time. Well, before she was bitten. That wasn't exactly the highlight of the trip. "Running gives me energy. It also takes it away pretty fast, depending on the pace you go at and the distance..."

Her question about tiredness made Belle instantly pick up a spoon and check her reflection. Dark circles. Casually messed up hair. Pale skin... Well, actually, the last one wasn't exactly new. She'd always been pale and skinny...

"Kiddo, you ever heard of werewolves?" she asked in a slightly squeakier voice than she normally would. Then it suddenly hit her. Sheiße. She'd just told the only girl who'd every actually talked to her that she was a lycan. Well, implied it, really. But close enough. It was clear that the girl wasn't stupid. "Belle, you genius," she thought with a silent sigh.

Mel smiled. "That's awesome. I was never one for running really. It was too boring to me. Dancing is... different. It's exciting and it can be made to fit any mood. And I suppose running, or dancing, for too long would really sap your strength." She frowned, then shrugged. "Whatever, I like that feeling too sometimes."

Mel's eyes widened. "You're one too? How many werewolves go to this school anyway?" She looked at the girl's worried expression. "Oh. I'm not scared of you by the way. You're human right now and you won't hurt me now, only when you're a wolf and not in control. So I don't really care and I'll stay inside on full moons. Problem solved." She smiled.

Belle giggled slightly. "Yeah, I guess sometimes running can be boring. But sometimes it's easier not to try, and just to do it, because by the time you're out of breath you've forgotten why you were running in the first place. Well, for me anyway," she explained. "I guess dancing's fun to the people who enjoy it, right? I was just never one of those people..."

Belle's eyes widened at the idea of other werewolves at the school. More of them?! That was both good and bad news. Good, she had someone who would understand what she was going through and not having to pretend to feel bad. But then again, she'd never been around another werewolf before, not when she was meant to change. She didn't know what they were like during and after her transformations. Having always been the skinniest girl she knew, she suffered pretty bad, considering the biting and the scratching... Ow.

"Wait huh?! Do I know them? Are they in my year? Why didn't I know about this... How many are there? Who are they?!" she asked, seemingly excitably.

Mel nodded, smiling. "I guess we'll both just stick to our own hobbies. I'll do my dancing and you get your running. Neither of us can really understand each other's interest in it." She laughed. "I guess we never will."

Mel nodded. "Yeah, I've met one. His name is Adam Jacobs and he's fourth year Prideaux. And he said he takes a potion that makes him remember who he is while he's a wolf. You could probably get that too, only I don't know who makes it for him. I bet someone in the Hospital Wing could make it for you, if you wanted it. That way you wouldn't hurt yourself... It was you that gave yourself those scratches, wasn't it?"

Belle laughed and resisted the urge to ruffle the younger girl's hair. "Yeah, I probably won't understand dancing," she grinned and poked at some chicken with a fork.

"Well, what do you know... I had absolutely no idea there were others! Fourth year, hmm? I'll have to talk to him some time, see how he handles it. I've heard of that potion before, but my... uh, 'parents' lets say, couldn't afford nor be bothered to get it. I guess it'd be worth it, since the day after is worse than waking up with a hangover..." she groaned, putting air-quotes around the word "parents". Adam Jacobs... She'd have to make a note of it and ask him about everything. If she could be bothered to find him.

"Yeah, I give myself these scars..."

Mel smiled. "My brother doesn't understand it either, but I don't understand his hobbies either." She wrinkled her nose. Her brother smoked and she couldn't stand it.

Mel smiled. "Yep, you're not as alone as you thought you were. And he has friends who know he's a werewolf and are still his best friends, so you don't have to be afraid to tell people." She tilted her head to the side. "What do you mean "parents" in quotation marks? Are they not your real parents?" She shrugged. "I bet the hospital wing would let you have it free of charge while you're at the school."

Mel shook her head. "Wow. I'm sorry you have to go through that."

"You have a brother?" Belle asked, feeling a pang of jealousy that she had a living sibling. Well, for all she knew, Lillie could still be alive. It was highly unlikely; she hadn't been sighted in so long that if she had managed to escape in time, she would be dead now anyway. If someone had found her little sister, then she would know. Wouldn't she...?

"That's really actually kinda cool... I don't have many, any really, friends anyway, so I'm in no danger of losing any," she said with a lighthearted laugh and a shrug of her shoulders. "I always preferred riding solo. And well, my parents sorta died, and the people I live with aren't my real parents, obviously. I don't like 'em, but they feed and look after me, so...

"Sometimes it isn't that bad. It often depends on how bad I'm feeling. If I'm really stressed, then it's pretty bad and once, I nearly died. But if I'm happy, by my standards, it's not as awful. A few scratches here and there... But it numbs me sometimes, and often I can't feel it much. Thanks for the concern though," she added with a smile.

Mel nodded. "His name is Alec. He's a fifth year Prideux. Have you ever talked to him? What about you, do you have siblings?" Belle seemed to be deep in thought as Mel asked her question.

Mel smiled gently. "Well you have me now. And I won't leave you." She leaned forward. "What are they like, your caretakers, that you don't like them? Are they bad to you, do they hurt you?"

Mel leaned forward. "If you can't get the potion to make you remember who you are, can you get one to calm you down before you change? Or do it yourself?"

"Alec... No, I don't think I have talked to him. What's he like?" Belle asked, suddenly interested. "Well, it's complicated. I've got a sister, Lillie, who could be dead. She might not be, but well, the odds don't really appear to be in her favour. And I have a brother too, called Charlie, but he's definitely dead..." Belle shrugged, barely noticeably, but it was still evident. 'And good riddance' she thought with a smirk.

Belle smiled instinctively. A friend. That was new. Had she ever really had a friend before? Come to think of it, she actually hadn't... "Thanks, Amélie. That's sweet," she grinned and for the first time in a long while, she felt a feeling in the pit of her stomach that she'd heard was called 'happiness'. "Well, they're pretty lovely people. But that's just it. They're too sweet, and mood-swingy. They want to be your best friend one minute, then the day you need them most it's 'Oh, handle your own problems you brat'."

"Oh trust me, I've tried. But you see, when there's a skinny stranger who needs help, and said stranger looks semi-insane, they don't tend to get the help they're after..." she mumbled. "But I don't think I've tried calming myself down before. I'm a bit caught up being stressed," Belle half-smiled.

Mel shrugged. "I don't know. He's... Alec. He's headstrong and independent and he hates our dad and loves me, when he thinks about it enough. He escapes through smoking, which I hate. He likes to have a good time and he's restless when stuff isn't happening enough. He's just who he is." Her eyes widened. "I'm sorry, I hope she's alive." The matter-of-fact way the older girl stated these things shocked her.

Mel smiled. "Anytime. I know what it's like to need someone when no kne's there." She frowned. "Well that's dumb. They sound really stupid." She smiled again though at Belle. She seemed to really have made the girl happy.

Mel shook her head. "Well that's not right. You should get the help you need, no matter what you look like, right?" she asked naïvely. The young girl, while she'd had her share of hardships, didn't really understand much in the ways of the world. She was still so innocent tI many forms of discrimination.

"Well, he seems like the kind of person who'd get along with most people; correct me if I'm wrong. But hey, I might just have to talk to him some time. He seems alright, if what you say is all true," Belle said with a warm smile. "Although the smoking thing sorta sucks. My adoptive mother does that, and no matter now many times I tell her to stop, she keeps taking them," she sighed dramatically, rolling her eyes with a slightly cheeky grin pulling up the corners of her lips. "Yeah, so do I. I pray a lot that a family's found her and that she's okay, growing up and hopefully well away from anything that'll hurt her. But what can you do? Life's life."

A brief image of her little sister crossed the older girl's mind. She was still the cute little seven year old who wore checked dresses and pigtails everywhere she went. She was still the girl who jumped at the sound of a bird in a tree, and still the girl who snuggled into her resentful sister at two in the morning when there was a thunder storm.

Shaking her head frantically to get rid of the thought, Belle felt her eyes start to sting. 'Not again' she thought and wiped them on the back of her hand. Crying wasn't an option.

With a sad smile, Belle shook her head again, this time slowly. "If only that's how the world worked, Amélie. People like me are lucky to even get accepted in society, let alone served in restaurants, spoken to in public or, in this case, given what they need to stop them potentially..." she trailed off. This was getting too serious, and she didn't want to tarnish the younger girl's innocence. "Hurting themselves," the added, very quietly.

Mel smiled. "Yeah, he's a bit of a people person. He gets along with most people, and he's not a womanizer or anything. He's a good boy, as good as any brother can be." She smiled gently. "I'm sure that's what happened. There are plenty of good people in the world and I'm sure somebody found her and raised her. How old was she when she went missing?" She reached her hand across the table when Belle started crying and placed her hand on top of the older girl's. "Hey. It's gonna be ok, alright? She'll show up. She's still alive somewhere."

Mel pouted. "That's still not right. They're stupid." She looked up with wide, believing eyes. "But if it would stop you from hurting yourself, why wouldn't you be able to take it? Do they like it when young girls hurt themselves because they can't help it? Everyone else is an idiot," the young girl declared.

"So, what's he look like? A good boy... I'm picturing blonde hair, quite tall, and maybe a little muscly... But you know, that's just my lack of experience around guys talking for me here. I really should talk to more people, but I just lack the skills to not want to hit most guys in the face, unfortunately..." she said, clearly joking about the last part through her tone of voice. "Of course, there are good people in the world. But there are also bad ones, and they just do whatever they think will get them far in life. Kids like Lillie just stand in the way... She was, I think seven when she went missing. So, she's been gone for a fair few years, at least as many as her age," Belle said, trying to do the maths that was involved but giving up rather quickly.

"You see, when they see a teenage girl who looks battered up, like me, they think she's sorta... Insane. And then they find out she's, well, you know, one of me. And they think 'monster'... Also, like I said, kids just get in the way, and what does it matter if they lose someone like me? If they lose: A, a grouchy teenage girl who will cause more bad than good in the world," she took a breath before continuing. "And B, a lycan who's going to go around every month biting everyone they come into contact with..." Belle's voice was very flat and showed how irritated she was that everyone stereotyped werewolves in the way they did.

Mel nodded. "That's a out right. Other girls apart try think he's 'cute.' Cool eyes, sexily messy hair, dreamy muscles and all that." She pretended to gag. "I do admit that he looks good though. He is a ladies' man however, so maybe 'good boy' wasn't the best description." She smiled. "Well she sounds amazing. I hope she turns up soon and you two can see each other again."

Mel shook her head. "Well they're idiots," she repeated. "I think you're perfectly ok and I like you for who you are, not what you look like. But I think you still look good too. People need to st doing that. If I saw a beat up girl, I wouldn't think 'she's insane,' I'd think 'She needs help.'" She snorted. "Morons."

Belle grinned slightly and leaned forwards on the table, hands locked together tightly. "Oh, well he does sound like a bit of a laugh, if nothing else!" She giggled a little at the younger girl pretending to gag. "They chase him that badly, huh?" she smiled, her eyes still laughing as she imagined a group of teenage girls all flocking after a boy with the description Amélie had provided. "He sounds like a proper looker, then," she said teasingly. "Nah, I'm not really a lads girl. Don't get me wrong, there are a few boys in this school who aren't bad looking, I just haven't found many that are... Dateable..."

"Thanks," she said warmly. "I hope so too."

"Yeah, most people these days are. But my opinion on the matter's invalid to those people, so it's not like me saying anything's going to make a difference," she pouted childishly. "That's probably the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me, you know?" Belle said, eyes and lips smiling at the younger girl.

Mel smiled. "Well he seems to think he's quite hilarious anyway." She rolled her eyes. "It's annoying is what it is. Cause they're all stupid bimbos." Mel winked. "Well maybe I'll just have to set you two up since I like you and I can't stand any of them. But I'm sure there's someone out there for you. I mean Remus Lupin had a wife and a kid, so it's not like it's unheard of."

Mel nodded sharply. "Good opinion. If they can't love you for who you are, then they don't deserve your awesomeness!" she announced. She shook her head. "That's not ok. You're a beautiful person Belle, you deserve more compliments. Seriously."

Belle laughed. "He's not one of those people who laugh at what he's said before he'd finished saying it, is he?" she asked, having seen many of those people around and wishing she could just slap them across the cheek. Especially if their laugh was irritating. That was just too annoying for her to even want to remember... "Well, some people these days will be bimbos. Most only do it to get attention," she smirked inwardly, failing to see why people would do that. Pretend to be stupid for attention. Yeah, great one... "Haha, very funny," Belle said in a flat tone that made her usual one seem upbeat and perky. Which it wasn't. "It's not unheard of, but it's pretty unlikely. Not to mention frowned upon by most..."

"Yeah, me and my awesomeness," Belle grinned. "I don't go anywhere without it! And that's actually really sweet. Thanks, Amélie," Belle said, tears forming in her eyes. The first time anyone had actually ever called her a beautiful person. Everyone else just saw a scarred, battered and torn fourteen year old girl. But clearly not the first girl who'd ever spoken to her voluntarily.

Mel shook her head. "Fortunately, no he isn't. Otherwise I would have given him severe brain damage by now. He's just the tiniest bit narcissistic, though he hasn't reached Julian Rosseau levels yet, thank Merlin." She rolled her eyes. "Well I don't see the point of their existence. They serve NO purpose whatsoever." She grinned at Belle's tone. "Well no need to jump in excitement Belle, I can tell you're just thrilled at the prospect." Mel shrugged. "Well who cares what the rest of them think. Love is love and all that."

Mel grinned. "Neither do I! Yay, we have so much in common!" She grinned, but sobered a little as Belle started to cry. The young Angeliqué slipped under the table and came up on Belle's side, wrapping her arms around the older girl's waist. "Well they're all missing out then," she murmmered into Belle's side.

Belle laughed slightly and nodded in understanding. "Brain damage, huh? You seem a little too sweet to be doing that, hun," she giggled. "Julian Ro... Ruh... Ra... Uh, that kid? What's he like? You sure do know a lot of people, don't you?" the older girl said with a grin. "Me either. It's like they live just to be stupid and try to make people feel bad about themselves," she sighed, shaking her head and pinching the bridge of her nose. "In short, they're just stupid. And you, little Amélie, are either kidding, delusional or just silly. I bet he'd never go for a girl like me," she said with a sad, but not depressing shake of her head and a half-smile.

"Yes, I guess we do!" Belle giggled, choking back a tear and trying not to let it fall. The older girl wasn't sure whether to put an arm over her companion's shoulders or to squeeze her. She wasn't hugged as a child. "Th-thank you..." she whispered, giving the smaller girl a gentle squish. "You're too cute."