people don't know this but...

Lena Edmunds wrote:I hate being the only person out of my group of friends that knows zero Chinese.

You yelled Chinese shit at me a week ago.

People don't really know this but it seems that I got a depression, but I smile and do all those silly and stupid things just to pass and to not bother people.

I like sports. I just don't like the muscle aches that come after.

(If you don't enjoy pain, how can you enjoy pleasure? The more we suffer the more we appreciate the pleasures of life )

It's not that I'm lazy, I just lack inspiration

People don't know this but my mom and dad made the splits after i was born x.x I stay with my mom and I get to see my dad sometimes about once or twice a year. Mom has two other kids with her current man. I actually feel very lonely because they exclude me in their family outings and stuff but I don't want to go with my dad cause i haven't been with him for a long time and it'll be awkward and stuff and for the fact that I don't wanna leave with him. Besides he has a great girlfriend with him now.

Also, People don't know that i've tried killing myself by trying to hold my breath when i was little okay not so little but yeah. Especially when i'm at a pool x.X Oh and I contemplated of cutting myself but never did..

I'm also very scared of the dark and being left alone..

And i've been in numerous motor bike accidents... stupid motherfuckers... i think they wanna kill me >.< and it's weird cause it happens on the same street almost all the times

Rose Ann Urquhart wrote:People don't know this but my mom and dad made the splits after i was born x.x I stay with my mom and I get to see my dad sometimes about once or twice a year. Mom has two other kids with her current man. I actually feel very lonely because they exclude me in their family outings and stuff but I don't want to go with my dad cause i haven't been with him for a long time and it'll be awkward and stuff and for the fact that I don't wanna leave with him. Besides he has a great girlfriend with him now.

Also, People don't know that i've tried killing myself by trying to hold my breath when i was little okay not so little but yeah. Especially when i'm at a pool x.X Oh and I contemplated of cutting myself but never did..

I'm also very scared of the dark and being left alone..

And i've been in numerous motor bike accidents... stupid motherfuckers... i think they wanna kill me >.< and it's weird cause it happens on the same street almost all the times

-huggles- We'll always be here for you, love. <3

Lena Vorstenbach wrote:

Rose Ann Urquhart wrote:People don't know this but my mom and dad made the splits after i was born x.x I stay with my mom and I get to see my dad sometimes about once or twice a year. Mom has two other kids with her current man. I actually feel very lonely because they exclude me in their family outings and stuff but I don't want to go with my dad cause i haven't been with him for a long time and it'll be awkward and stuff and for the fact that I don't wanna leave with him. Besides he has a great girlfriend with him now.

Also, People don't know that i've tried killing myself by trying to hold my breath when i was little okay not so little but yeah. Especially when i'm at a pool x.X Oh and I contemplated of cutting myself but never did..

I'm also very scared of the dark and being left alone..

And i've been in numerous motor bike accidents... stupid motherfuckers... i think they wanna kill me >.< and it's weird cause it happens on the same street almost all the times

-huggles- We'll always be here for you, love. <3

*huggles Rose* We're here, so have no worries. Life Is Beautiful, no mather what people say, and remember that you are not your skin. Never give up dear. <3

Felix Marten wrote:

Lena Vorstenbach wrote:

Rose Ann Urquhart wrote:People don't know this but my mom and dad made the splits after i was born x.x I stay with my mom and I get to see my dad sometimes about once or twice a year. Mom has two other kids with her current man. I actually feel very lonely because they exclude me in their family outings and stuff but I don't want to go with my dad cause i haven't been with him for a long time and it'll be awkward and stuff and for the fact that I don't wanna leave with him. Besides he has a great girlfriend with him now.

Also, People don't know that i've tried killing myself by trying to hold my breath when i was little okay not so little but yeah. Especially when i'm at a pool x.X Oh and I contemplated of cutting myself but never did..

I'm also very scared of the dark and being left alone..

And i've been in numerous motor bike accidents... stupid motherfuckers... i think they wanna kill me >.< and it's weird cause it happens on the same street almost all the times

-huggles- We'll always be here for you, love. <3

*huggles Rose* We're here, so have no worries. Life Is Beautiful, no mather what people say, and remember that you are not your skin. Never give up dear. <3

-huggles back- I'll try to never give up and I thank you people for actually being here for me... even though physically you aren't but yeah. I don't want to give up and that song...

People don't know this but ever since I've had my car accident, I keep asking myself why or how I survived. Um...I sort of got over it, though. *shrugs* So far so good. =]

People don't know this but every time my mom or my aunt or my grandpa... imma just go and practically say every time my family slaps me or say mean things about me like im just a useless waste of space and stuff like that makes me want to kill myself

Rose Ann Lucinda wrote:People don't know this but every time my mom or my aunt or my grandpa... imma just go and practically say every time my family slaps me or say mean things about me like im just a useless waste of space and stuff like that makes me want to kill myself

I feel you, man.
But don't let any of these things get to you. You are a wonderful person no matter what, and we all know it. <3

Rose Ann Lucinda wrote:People don't know this but every time my mom or my aunt or my grandpa... imma just go and practically say every time my family slaps me or say mean things about me like im just a useless waste of space and stuff like that makes me want to kill myself

SAME HERE. The more they say it, even as a joke, I just keep asking to myself, "Then why the hell did they even give birth to me?"

But you are sooooo NOT a waste of space Rosie, trust me. Just ignore your family when they say such shit. *huggleglompstackles* You are awesome, funny and unique!! (:

ILY^^ <3

It's Lor, btw

People don't know this, but sometimes I wish I had some kind of problem in my life. Everything in my life faaaaaaaar from perfect, super far, but it's still better, in a way, than a lot of people's. Sometimes I wish I had some big problem, just so I wouldn't feel guilty when I cried. Because I do, feel guilty. I can't help crying over silly things, that don't seem silly to me, but are so minor compared to everyone else's problems. This makes me feel really bad, like I shouldn't have any reason to cry, and yet I do. Like I should be wholly happy, when most of the time I'm not.

Katerina Kahnovich wrote:People don't know this, but sometimes I wish I had some kind of problem in my life. Everything in my life faaaaaaaar from perfect, super far, but it's still better, in a way, than a lot of people's. Sometimes I wish I had some big problem, just so I wouldn't feel guilty when I cried. Because I do, feel guilty. I can't help crying over silly things, that don't seem silly to me, but are so minor compared to everyone else's problems. This makes me feel really bad, like I shouldn't have any reason to cry, and yet I do. Like I should be wholly happy, when most of the time I'm not.

Hey, don't ever wish for such a thing. Just cause your problems aren't big as others, doesn't mean you should wish for bigger ones. D: If it bothers you, it's okay to cry, no matter what shit people say. And besides, you can blame most of your crying on hormones, cause that's what I do. Seriously though, don't feel guilty and do NOT wish for problems.

-huggletacklesglomps-

Katerina Kahnovich wrote:People don't know this, but sometimes I wish I had some kind of problem in my life. Everything in my life faaaaaaaar from perfect, super far, but it's still better, in a way, than a lot of people's. Sometimes I wish I had some big problem, just so I wouldn't feel guilty when I cried. Because I do, feel guilty. I can't help crying over silly things, that don't seem silly to me, but are so minor compared to everyone else's problems. This makes me feel really bad, like I shouldn't have any reason to cry, and yet I do. Like I should be wholly happy, when most of the time I'm not.

Kat, dear, don't wish for worse I beg you. I was there and know well that feeling of helplessness, like everything was off and unbalanced, when emotions are hard to understand, when your whole being wish for some torment just to justify that dread feeling of inner pain that seems to come from being torn apart without a reason.

Kat, it takes time, but believe me. When you look deep inside of you looking for answers don't feel bad about tears. That feeling comes from denial of things we don't want to accept, we don't want to see. Let yourself dove into yourself, listening and letting you feeling go. Try writing poetry, writing down your feeling, painting, or other creative way of unleashing it and finding your purpose. When you let it go and come to understanding and acceptance of it, of you that you are the way you are, the relief of letting it go will embrace you and make you whole. It will not be easy, there will be tears, but at the end of the path you will find yourself, serenity and joyous purpose of being.

Katerina Kahnovich wrote:People don't know this, but sometimes I wish I had some kind of problem in my life. Everything in my life faaaaaaaar from perfect, super far, but it's still better, in a way, than a lot of people's. Sometimes I wish I had some big problem, just so I wouldn't feel guilty when I cried. Because I do, feel guilty. I can't help crying over silly things, that don't seem silly to me, but are so minor compared to everyone else's problems. This makes me feel really bad, like I shouldn't have any reason to cry, and yet I do. Like I should be wholly happy, when most of the time I'm not.

One of the few things I can truly understand on this thread I know how that is like. Most of my friends has family problems or money, and I am listening to them with neither of them. It makes me feel guilty sometimes, wishing I had one of them, so I can at least understand what they go through, and help them.

But like Felix and Aveneil said, don't go wishing for bigger things. After all, if we all had big problems, the world would be a bigger gossip place. And the drama is bad enough... so let's not make it worse. And along with drama, there would be a depressed person everywhere you look.

I've been holding this back for a long, long time, but I suppose I might as well say it...

For the past couple of months, especially since April or May, I've thought on and off about leaving this site for good. There are some days where everyone - both here and in real life - wind me up and I want to shut down and not talk to any of you again because I get annoyed that much.

Then there are some days when I enjoy myself and think that I shouldn't and what with all the beautiful people I've met here, what I've been through, I know I can't. I'd miss you too much and I'd regret the decision.

One day, I might leave this site with all of my characters going poof or something because I'm that much of a bitch. But that day probably won't come for a very long time.

Lena Vorstenbach wrote:I've been holding this back for a long, long time, but I suppose I might as well say it...

For the past couple of months, especially since April or May, I've thought on and off about leaving this site for good. There are some days where everyone - both here and in real life - wind me up and I want to shut down and not talk to any of you again because I get annoyed that much.

Then there are some days when I enjoy myself and think that I shouldn't and what with all the beautiful people I've met here, what I've been through, I know I can't. I'd miss you too much and I'd regret the decision.

One day, I might leave this site with all of my characters going poof or something because I'm that much of a bitch. But that day probably won't come for a very long time.

Huuuuun, why didn't you tell me this? D: What would I do without Tshering, or reading Adele's silly threads? Or Devyn? Or any of your characters? (Do I depend on you that much?)

I love you, alright. If anything or anyone is pissing you off my inbox and my phone is always open.

Florence Oberlin wrote:

Lena Vorstenbach wrote:I've been holding this back for a long, long time, but I suppose I might as well say it...

For the past couple of months, especially since April or May, I've thought on and off about leaving this site for good. There are some days where everyone - both here and in real life - wind me up and I want to shut down and not talk to any of you again because I get annoyed that much.

Then there are some days when I enjoy myself and think that I shouldn't and what with all the beautiful people I've met here, what I've been through, I know I can't. I'd miss you too much and I'd regret the decision.

One day, I might leave this site with all of my characters going poof or something because I'm that much of a bitch. But that day probably won't come for a very long time.

Huuuuun, why didn't you tell me this? D: What would I do without Tshering, or reading Adele's silly threads? Or Devyn? Or any of your characters? (Do I depend on you that much?)

I love you, alright. If anything or anyone is pissing you off my inbox and my phone is always open.

Of course I didn't tell you this. You know that if I did you would kill me. And yes, you depend on me too much. No you don't, really. I'd have a fit if you're about to leave too. <3

I love you too, and I know your phone is always open. :3 I can't say the same about your inbox, though, tbqh. But that's 'cause you never open it.

People don't know this but i feel like a shadow like literally a shadow... always there but never noticed... always having someone close to them outshine them at everything... always being underestimated... only being called upon when needed. I'm just a fucking useless shadow.

Rose Ann Lucinda wrote:People don't know this but i feel like a shadow like literally a shadow... always there but never noticed... always having someone close to them outshine them at everything... always being underestimated... only being called upon when needed. I'm just a fucking useless shadow.

Sometimes wondering if your friends are your friends or are they only sticking up with you just because you prove useful, or that they can show their awesomeness when compared to you, like an ego bost cause they think they are better while being spoiled.

Have no worries, it is not that you are unnoticed. It is propably more like that you are too good for your own good. People see it and may tend to ignore you because by most it is seen as a weakness and being around weak people doesn't yield any gain and endangers their standing. That is exactly why people 'befriend' evil ones, those who would be most bitchy and cocky of all, those who would kill to get where thay want. It is sick, I know, but people are blind, bacause they don't realize by giving them, evil ones, support of 'friendship', or just silently agreeing to their ways they give them an open field to let them do what they want. While those sensitive and good at heart must endure being a shadow. Ironically, you would be surprised how many people not only notice you, even truely like and support, but are afraid that showing it would hit them badly, or they may believe that you don't need it.

I know, that is a hard and long topic, but that is only an outline of a social, or rather global issue. You are never alone, never. We only tend to belive so, because we were coerced into this by those who don't care about us. They are afraid of losing their 'spotlight' and they are aware that if you were allowed to get into the stage, they would not be that nice looking anymore, so they will undermine you, and spread gossip, do what they can to hold their 'higher moral ground' no matter what the cost.

Felix Marten wrote:

Rose Ann Lucinda wrote:People don't know this but i feel like a shadow like literally a shadow... always there but never noticed... always having someone close to them outshine them at everything... always being underestimated... only being called upon when needed. I'm just a fucking useless shadow.

Sometimes wondering if your friends are your friends or are they only sticking up with you just because you prove useful, or that they can show their awesomeness when compared to you, like an ego bost cause they think they are better while being spoiled.

Have no worries, it is not that you are unnoticed. It is propably more like that you are too good for your own good. People see it and may tend to ignore you because by most it is seen as a weakness and being around weak people doesn't yield any gain and endangers their standing. That is exactly why people 'befriend' evil ones, those who would be most bitchy and cocky of all, those who would kill to get where thay want. It is sick, I know, but people are blind, bacause they don't realize by giving them, evil ones, support of 'friendship', or just silently agreeing to their ways they give them an open field to let them do what they want. While those sensitive and good at heart must endure being a shadow. Ironically, you would be surprised how many people not only notice you, even truely like and support, but are afraid that showing it would hit them badly, or they may believe that you don't need it.

I know, that is a hard and long topic, but that is only an outline of a social, or rather global issue. You are never alone, never. We only tend to belive so, because we were coerced into this by those who don't care about us. They are afraid of losing their 'spotlight' and they are aware that if you were allowed to get into the stage, they would not be that nice looking anymore, so they will undermine you, and spread gossip, do what they can to hold their 'higher moral ground' no matter what the cost.

I agree with Felix, hun. I've experienced a time like this, when I was in primary school. Sometimes I still feel this way, especially because I'm one of the smartest kids in the class (this is a fact, not a cocky statement) and sometimes people tend to befriend the silly, stupid ones. They do silly, stupid things that I want no part of, and sometimes they even skip school because they don't want to do something which disgusts me. I don't blame them, though; I love the friends I do have because they really care about me (hopefully) and I care about them.

Yes, I do envy them occasionally because my social life kind of sucks at times, but I convince myself that we're young, and we have lots of time to improve our future. At the end of the day, if you work your ass off and get a great job, people are going to be jealous of that, and even regret treating you like crap in high school.

My inbox and my Facebook is always open for you and anyone else, Tonie. <3

People don't know this, but sometimes I just run as fast as I can and try not to think.

People don't know this, but I honest to God think I'm being stalked by a ghost.

People don't know this, but I know Alyssa Black in real life and consider her my twin sister. She is the most beautiful person (in a sisterly way.)

People don't know this, but I'm considered therapy by a lot of my friends. I've been told so many things. I've cried for them at night sometimes.

People don't know this, but I don't deserve my friends.

ABSOLUTELY NO ONE KNOWS THIS AT THE TIME OF TYPING, but I've found myself thinking of crimes people have committed and how I could have done them better. How I could have gotten away with it. And then I realize what I'm thinking and then I hate myself for it.

Lena Vorstenbach wrote:

Florence Oberlin wrote:

Lena Vorstenbach wrote:I've been holding this back for a long, long time, but I suppose I might as well say it...

For the past couple of months, especially since April or May, I've thought on and off about leaving this site for good. There are some days where everyone - both here and in real life - wind me up and I want to shut down and not talk to any of you again because I get annoyed that much.

Then there are some days when I enjoy myself and think that I shouldn't and what with all the beautiful people I've met here, what I've been through, I know I can't. I'd miss you too much and I'd regret the decision.

One day, I might leave this site with all of my characters going poof or something because I'm that much of a bitch. But that day probably won't come for a very long time.

Huuuuun, why didn't you tell me this? D: What would I do without Tshering, or reading Adele's silly threads? Or Devyn? Or any of your characters? (Do I depend on you that much?)

I love you, alright. If anything or anyone is pissing you off my inbox and my phone is always open.

Of course I didn't tell you this. You know that if I did you would kill me. And yes, you depend on me too much. No you don't, really. I'd have a fit if you're about to leave too. <3

I love you too, and I know your phone is always open. :3 I can't say the same about your inbox, though, tbqh. But that's 'cause you never open it.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN WOMAN.

Anyways, don't leave. I need you. D:

Casey Donohoe wrote:People don't know this, but I honest to God think I'm being stalked by a ghost.

As long as it is there to observe you only or guide you have no fear! We are never alone but just a few of us realize this. People tend to be so materialistic to think abit what happens behind the courtain... and they are just beside us.

Casey Donohoe wrote:People don't know this, but I'm considered therapy by a lot of my friends. I've been told so many things. I've cried for them at night sometimes.

You cry, because it let you cleanse your system from burden of others that you have taken to carry on your own shouders. Learn to separate yourself from problems of others. be there for them but don't let it affect you and you will feel better.

Casey Donohoe wrote:People don't know this, but I don't deserve my friends.

Simply: You exagerate. You support them and you are there for them when they need to make a confession, dump their feelings, doubts and fears and you say you don't deserve them? It looks the other way to me...

Casey Donohoe wrote:ABSOLUTELY NO ONE KNOWS THIS AT THE TIME OF TYPING, but I've found myself thinking of crimes people have committed and how I could have done them better. How I could have gotten away with it. And then I realize what I'm thinking and then I hate myself for it.

Even asking yourself questions like what you would make of human? Don't blame yourself for being creative and going out of the borders of conventional thinking. If you can focus your perceptive and analitic mind on a certain subject I believe you can work wonders, so why shun your abilities and tok the label that it is 'wrong'? Because it is socially unacceptable? If that is the case keep it mostly to yourself, society is mostly rotten and more thick than frozen vegetables. If it is because is something that does not fit your upbringing and moral values that were put into you by you parents, society etc... accept your gift and feel glad for it. Not everybody have that forsight to see things and almost nobody has a courage to even consider thinking out of the box not to mention admit it. Be proud of it!