A Dream of Time Gone By

Cross legged upon the neat orderly counter, Juliet - her hair folded up into a messy contraption that one might have called a bun, her wand stuffed half-hazardly through it - stayed, her eyes trailing over the words of her book, as she was completely ignorant of the house elves bustling around her.

The noises that might have been distracting to some, were becoming rather soothing for her. The headache that had plagued her the week before appeared to have been gone for the moment. She dreaded its reappearance. The noises however - when her brain wasn't threatening to explode - made her feel like she was surrounded, not quite alone.

Although if she looked up, she would see the fascade for what it really was - a bunch of servants she could pretend were significant on a personal level.

Almost sad, really, when one thought about it.

Still, she sat, the house elves ignoring her peculiar presence, and herself too lost in the pages of a book, of a world of imagination, a land of the past, that she didn't even notice when she wasn't alone in the room any longer.

Propping her Divination book in her hands, the young Slytherin made her way towards the kitchens, in search for her beloved food. She still wanted more of that custard pies and blueberry muffins and banana muffins and pumpkin juice and all that sweets. They were heaven during dinner, and she was craving for more. Food. Her only escape from being love lifeless and a hopeless romantic. Wait. She wasn't looking for any romance at all in the first place. So why the hell would she even dare?

Still during that time of night when everyone was in their common rooms hanging out, Frances couldn't help but be intrigued for not taking the lesson of her favourite subject too seriously that day. Who can blame her? Her emotions. Nothing else. And her hunger, one thing she least expected that might happen to her during her return.

Pushing the frame door of the huge portrait, the kitchen revealed itself with the bustling elves, and the girl entered. She took a seat on a nearby table, looked ahead, and nicely spoke, "Um... does any of you have more of those custard pies and muffins?" she tapped her hands on the wood, waiting for a response, when out of nowhere, an elf walked towards her with boggling eyes, holding a plate of her requests.

"Oh goody! Thank you!" Frances exclaimed with a bright smile. Thank Merlin for creating food for making her happy. The elf withdrew, gave a courteous bow, and went ahead with their work. The Slytherin, proud and joyous, started munching the muffins first before diving in for the pies. She smirked, flipped open her book, and read the page on where she last stopped, her mind in peace and working properly unlike that of a race car.

She scanned the room, noticed another student despite the business of the elves, and called out between mouthfuls of her delectable muffin, "Er... hello. Want some?" she could at least try to be hospitable for once. Besides, getting in a bad mood seemed rare at the moment of pleasure.

But in the back of her mind, she knew that the other girl was rather familiar. Although she can't quite remember.

She had heard the other girl speak, after all she would have had to be completely deaf not to, the simple fact of the matter was she wasn't quite ready to listen. Head still bowed over the pages, she head up one finger in a sign to wait a moment, and let her other finger scan after her eyes, keeping time to the words on the page.

Once she got to a natural stop in the passage, a moment where it wasn't quite so painful to wait a moment to discover what is about to happen, she let her gaze fall upon the older girl, her finger stay upon the paper in her lap, so as to not lose her spot, "Sorry about that. That's quite okay, you can keep your treats. I'm full."

She gave a kind smile, not as irked to have been interupted as she had been at other points in her life. Her eyes slowly skimmed over the face of the girl. There was something ticking at the back of her head, as if she'd seen them before, but she pushed the thought aside after discovering she could not follow it further.

"I'm Juliet by the way - Juliet Jessica Jones, though I hardly like to sound that pompus, you can just use Juliet," she gave a small little laugh.

Frances smirked, relieved that she can have the treats all by herself though quite ignorant that the other girl can still possibly have some from the elves. She shrugged, took another bite from her muffin, finishing the first, and gasped, her mind recycling the pieces of jagged memories so long ago. She yelled in surprise and realization, evident from her wide-eyed face, and had let her book slip towards the floor with a thud,

"Hey! I know you! I remember you! You're... you're that Hufflepuff girl! Yeah! You're a year younger than I am! We... we bumped in a staircase years back with another Huffle boy your age!" she spluttered, causing her to almost choke and die because of food. She coughed hard, dashing for breath, then settled after awhile of struggle. She shook her head, embarrassed for that encounter, and spoke, "Sorry about that."

The Slytherin nodded, smiled faintly, and returned the favour of introducing herself once again after years, "Yeah. You're JJ. But now, I think you prefer Juliet. I'm Iris Frances by the way. They call me Eye."

Juliet blinked slightly at the girls enthuasm before letting out a startled laugh. As she spoke though, she could remember the scene the girl had spelled out for her.

"Yes, I remember that - with Dame, that was the Hufflepuff boy," she reminded with a slight grin. "That feels like so long ago now. My first year here - already on my forth now."

It was all so strange for her.

"Nice to meet you again, then, Eye," again, the girl laughed, "And yes, I did go by J. J. then, there are still people who use it. I really don't mind either way - Juliet is what I go by, but... part of me will always be J. J."

Frances bit her lip, chuckled slightly at the weird meet-and-greet again after what seemed like centuries ago. She grabbed another muffin from the plate and ate it as though she was left with nothing more. She picked up her book, tidied it with her free hand and flipped open the pages, making sure that the text can now make sense to her. Reading the first lines again and again, she finally considered that 'sense' of the lesson.

"Yeah. It's been plenty of years. But I still missed my fourth year though because of stupid reasons. What's it like now? In your fourth year? I skipped actually. Then now, good thing I'm back and a fifth year. I will never want to repeat and get left behind by my friends." the Slytherin spoke, her head still buried inside the pages of the book while she took another bite of her treat, "Huh? Why do you prefer Juliet now? J.J. sounds awesome."

Watching the other girl go back to her book, Juliet figured that the soical part of this chance meeting was currently over, and shrugged, returning to her own book. Only to get a few sentences in before she had to listen again.

She supposed she could just ignore the girl, but without any particularily reasonable excuse for doing so, that would be rude.

"Oh Forth year doesn't seem all that different from third year, which wasn't that different from second year - though things did get kind of rocky near the end of that one - which in and of itself was the same as first year," she gave the girl a smill little smirk. "It all seems much of the same... only difference is I changed."

The second question was one she had expected from many other avenues but rarely actually heard. The young girl gave a little shrug.

"I went through things, I grew up a bit... and I just thought... maybe it was time to be a big girl and stop hiding from who I was. I was born Juliet - maybe I should give being her a try."

The Slytherin ended her muffin abruptly in just four bites. Sighing at the thought of food vanishing into her digestive system, she started for the custard pies. Forking her way through, she shrugged in hearing the Hufflepuff's answers and at the same time, rereading the second paragraph till she memorized its content.

"Huh. Funny," Frances muttered, "But anyway, it's better to be back than nothing. Even if I'm within school. I don't mind tons and tons of homeworks, so long as I wouldn't repeat those shit that happened to me two years ago."

She turned her head back up and stared at the other girl. Raising an eyebrow as though confused and cannot comprehend what was up with that statement, she asked ignorantly, "Juliet's a very pretty name. What does the other letter stand for?" she paused, thought for herself, and added as she fed her mouth, "I grew up too. But I was a little more stable back then compared to now. Hell yeah, I stopped hiding from who I was. I've become more mental." then gave a little smirk, amused by her own commentary.

"Jessica - Juliet Jessica Jones. It seemed my mother saved all her 'J' names for me," she gave a fond little chortle that was ended with a sad little frown as she thought about her mother. Juliet wondered what the woman was doing now. Part of her regretted that she had lost her nerve and just walked away at christmas.

But she was still sure that had been the best thing to do, for everyone.

She gave her own half smirk, "There's nothing too wrong with being mental - keeps things interesting."

"Both of those names are awesome." Frances gave her own little opinion as she turned the page of the book. Frowning at the content of more topics and more complicated ones, she glared at the lifeless object, "I have the stupid middle name of 'Jane' though. I hate it. Urgh. Reminds me of the past bitchy Headmistress of Hogwarts. Dolores Jane Umbridge. How stupid my parents were." and at the sound of 'parents', she shivered.

And she still haven't seen the house or even the grave her mother. Just leave her 'biological father' alone with his mistress in France. He was after all half-French. And the Slytherin just knew that months ago.

She shook her head, trailing behind those nasty thoughts, and nodded in agreement along with a grin, "Yeah. When you're mental, you know how to live life."

"Hmm, was that her last name?" Juliet raised an eyebrow, mildly interested to knwo this tidbit. She filed it away for possible later use, "Well, if its any constellation, first of all you don't have to tell people your middle name - if you want you can pretend it does not exist - and second of all, if I didn't know that fact, than I'm sure that tons of other people don't either."

Picking up her book she stretched her legs out, leaning back, hitting a hanging pot and her wand poked into her her head. Bitting back a curse, she set the book aside and reached up to fix the already a mess of a hairdo.

"They certainly do - no hang ups about... anything. Its a shame when we let people hold us back... though we all do it, don't we?"

"Whatever. I don't care for that cause at all. I haven't known the history behind it because I still think up until now that those two names of mine don't go very well. And I just live by the first name since I really do think it's pretty. And... I share that name with my best friend." she gave a quick recap of about her identity, not exactly, just a part of her in her name. Leaning her head to one side, she grinned as she remembered, "Then on my second year, this other best friend of mine from the same house, my very first best friend before I met Gray, baptized me as Eye. Not really, I just thought that I might go with that name ever since. But hell, now she's gone."

She frowned, and wondered whether or not her tears could hold themselves back for the sake of humiliation and pride. She wouldn't waste her tears ever again. Or should she say wasting them for Alexis Hope? Nope. She damn missed her. Where could that woman be now?

"Yeah. I wouldn't let the others know. Unless they seek the sources." Frances smirked to herself and shrugged, "Hey, I guess you're the only one right now who knows my freakish middle name. Don't. Tell. Anybody." she spoke in a serious tone, almost a commandment.

"People hold us back?" she asked with an eyebrow raised, "Should they dare try it on me. I'll be the one to push them back that hard." and chuckled as she ate a part of the custard pie, leaving it in half.

A small frown crossed her face at the mention of people leaving. Her hand unconsciously reaching up to play with chain around her neck, and the ring hanging upon it.

"It seems people do that a lot of late, don't they? Just... disappear, without a warning. Its rather painful, to feel neglected like that. You thought you mattered and then just..." she shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing."

The girls next comment distracted her enough to produce a startled laugh, a grin, and for moment her melancholy thoughts of the past were gone, "Your secrets safe with me! Scouts honour, pinky swear, cross my heart, and everything else."

A raised eyebrow. The girl was interesting to say the least. Then again, almost everyone in this school she seemed to come across was. Normal was a word she had long forgotten.

It didn't exist in this place.

"Well then, remind me not to try."

Sighing at the memories long gone but luckily not forgotten, Frances bit her lip and buried her face lower in the book she was holding. Clenching her teeth, she was almost red with anger, mad at the thought of people leaving, mad about herself for leaving. But, she did what they didn't do, to come back. And now, she wondered how many more years could she maintain the patience to wait before seeing her old best friend again? She missed someone to talk to, to rant to in the common room, someone who can hopefully understand her as a Slytherin. But Gray could do that all, right? She'd never want anything else because the Gryffindor came into her life when she most needed her. Perhaps it's all right to forget now. But she can't. Firsts are that hard to throw away.

"I just hope at least some of them would do the same as I did. To come back. And they've been gone a very longer time." Eye remarked monotonously, gulping nothing but air, and asked, "So you've experienced that one too? People just disappear. It's really weird. You'll never know when would be the last time to see them again. Better make the most out of it before it's over."

She laughed faintly, glad that the Hufflepuff can keep a promise, and replied, "When they'd know that stupid name of mine, my life is over. They'd keep teasing me or something. I know it. And just the way you hear it from other people, most especially to yourself, it just plainly sucks." she shrugged and muttered, "Mood swings. Very uncontrollable to push people around whenever I feel like it. I really changed."

Indeed, she did. As if facing a mirror and not seeing yourself reflected upon it.

Juliet couldn't help but let out a short almost bitter laugh. That was certainly true, they disappeared, even when they had promised they wouldn't. She had let go of most of her past, made peace with it, and moved on, but there would always be a part of her, the part of her that was still there, even today, that would feel the pain.

She held up the ring, it shinned in the bright lights, "Even when they promise not to, they seem to leave anyway. They think having someone else tell you that they're gone is okay. OH, I can't come back right now, but I still care, really I do. If they still cared, you'd think they'd find a way to come back. Even once, just for a few minutes. Two years, is it so hard to ask for a flash of a face once every two years?"

She shook her head, and allowed the ring to drop. It was pointless to dwell upon.

"Change, isn't always a bad thing. Its just... a fact really, when you think about it. Things change, life goes on."

Returning the bitter laugh, Frances did so. What better way to handle with those hard problems than just to laugh about them as if they were a joke? Pretend or not, she couldn't even think of them as a joke. In the outside she can lie, but in the inner dwellings of her emotions, surely she cannot. Who the hell can if the persons they were trying to ignore and forget were the ones to whom they felt they belonged? Even before the people she conclude now as her best friends 'forever' replaced them completely? Who could tell?

Alessa. Alexis. Every one of them she cherished years before. And at the moment till who knows when they would show up, they became mere blurry images of the past. She sighed, returned to her book, and for once, she felt like leaving the rest of the treats in front of her untouched, "Just carry on with life, eh? Just like they say? It's harder than what comes from their mouths. And I bet they're the ones who wouldn't even try in the first place because they're scared. Two years. Or longer." then shrugged her shoulders.

Gazing at the Hufflepuff's ring for a second, she was intended to ask, "Who gave you that one?" but continued instead, "Yeah. Fuck themselves. Really. They could have written an owl or something. But the truth is, they're just cowards or rotting dead somewhere." her body shivered at the sound, feeling colder than before in the kitchens.

She knew she was thinking about that thought for a long time. Could they be actually dead?

Eye's words struck an odd cord within Juliet - there was the sudden sting of pain, deep and consuming at the thought that the boy she thought she could have had a chance to love - at the time she had been inclined to think she did love him, but now she was seeing that as a childish infactuation - could simply just be dead. But then their was the other emotion, the simple stroke of relief. It was a horrible emotion to feel at the thought of someone you once cared about being dead, but it was there none the less. She couldn't help it. The simple truth was that Dimitri being dead would have made it hurt less.

Because they she could pretend he hadn't left her of his own free will. But if he was alive out there somewhere, well then the fact she hadn't heard from him in years only meant he didn't care about her as much as he had once said he did.

And that fact hurt so much more.

"Almost rather they were dead," she murmured slowly, dropping the ring almost like it was something disgusting, and wrapping her arms around her middle. "At least then you could still pretend they cared about you before they were gone. If they aren't dead, then... well they really don't care, do they?"

The Slytherin, stung by the words the Hufflepuff had just produced, lowered her head down, unable to simply control pouting in sympathy or loneliness. What Juliet said was true. Frances had once overcame those trials, those tests, those careless journeys. And now, she was returning to them all over again. Could the possibility that when her mother died, her last thoughts were about her daughter? Or to someone else? Like her 'husband'? Had she felt that one too? That would be reckless, sheer stupidity, something very not worth caring or even thinking about.

"Sorry." she muttered, staring at the other girl, her hands lying on her lap as she played with her foot, her appetite suddenly popping like a bubble. She sighed, decided to leave the subject, and muttered, "Hey. There's still that chance that they thought of us when they... passed away. There is. We're special to them, even if they had to face an end like that. They didn't want to leave. If only they really knew that they're going to see us for the last time of their lives. Things could be better that way. Their's always a reason."

But through her mind-wanderings, these loved ones were already gone, leaving them behind, deserted.

Juliet sighed slightly. Pulling her wand out of her hair and allowing the messy bun to fall down back into her usual curtain of light brown hair, she slipped off the counter.

"Yes... I suppose that's true," her voice held a tone of longing, and pain that she was rather unamused with. "Anyway - I suppose I'll leave you to your snacks."


Grabbing her book, hugging it to her chest after stashing her wand into her pocket she gave the girl a half wave and started for the door, "Nice meeting you again."

Intrigued that the Hufflepuff decided to leave so soon, the Slytherin painted a shy smile, one of her desires to at least have something new to talk to, and the other, to not to be alone yet again. The truth is, she never got along pretty well with the rest of her housemates. She preferred different faces, different voices, whole different things before venturing out.

"Nice meeting you too. See you around." she muttered, closing her textbook after finishing two and a half pages.

With this, she swayed her legs out of the chair, carried her plate still plunged with sweets, and held the muffins with her free hand. She sighed, returned the porcelain to the elf standing by, mumbled her appreciations, and went out off the kitchens, dissolving away into the darkness of the night.

Perhaps, she could still choose to wander around, in hope of finding someone to spill the beans out and breathe easily, before she would become bloated enough to burst.