Laying past mistakes to rest (Sin and Wilow)

Sin had found it har to sneak away from his master. But he needed to make things right again with Willow. He had been unfair to her, and thought it right to try to repent and make peace in the place he had first met her. True Sam had met Willow in the three broomsticks most probably, but Sin just felt this was the better place to put the past behind them.

He had polished her parents headstones and left fresh flowers for them. He had been speaking to them, hoping they didnt dislike him for confusing their daughter's heart so cruelly.

He wondered if Willow would come to visit them today. He heard someone approach and hid himself out of the way, drawing his cloak over him.

Willow came hurrying down the path to her parent's grave she had brought with her her usual gifts of a muffin a peice and she had a lot to tell them about what had happened since she had last been to see them, she was so happy because Jamie had come back to her after all this time and even though she had kissed Sam he had forgiven her and they still loved each other.

Laying the muffins down Willow kneeled next to the graves and looked at them with a tilted head, they had already been cleaned? Who could that have been? It surely wasn't Grandmother otherwise she would have come to see Willow as well so...was it Sam? Willow hoped that it was not because she didn't want to do anything else with him to betray Jamie's trust. Not again.

His body was hit with elation to see Willow, and despondency all at once. He could tell she didnt want to see him; he had done nothing but mess her life up. But he wanted to see her, just one last time before he had to go back into the dark. Sin wondered if he should let her talk to her parents first, or say his piece and then leave so not to invade her privacy.

"Willow..." He stepped out from his hiding place but didnt approach. "I'll stay here i promise i.. i just... im sorry... i need to explain myself... Its me.. Sam..."

He lowered his hood and raised his head up slowly, a sincere sorrowful look in his brusied rimmed eyes.

"Im so sorry Willow... for everything i did... i was confused and alone and just craved to be close to another human being again so much... i never meant to hurt you in any way... and i hope you dont feel bad about anytihng that happened becuas eit was my fault, not yours. I guess i didnt make a good big brother to you.. but i hope that you will still regard me as your friend... when i stop my medication... i may return to the Sam you knew me as. I wish you and Jamie every happiness... i hope you, he and your parents will not think too harshly of me... even if i do deserve it..."

He figured he would have to do more than just apologise and would have to explain himself better. He looked into Willows eyes, making a memory of how beautiful they were.
Although she could never be his, he was so very happy he had had the pleasure of meeting her.

"Ive er... just been taling to your parents... asking how they were... telling them im going back to spain again soon..." He talked awkwardly to the floor.

"Im sorry Willow... i'll leave you alone now if you want..."

Willow tilted her head up when she heard someone speaking to her, she wondered who it was and the figure seemed a little familiar but when he took down his hood she gasped and bit her lip getting up from her kneeling stance to look more closely at him, it was Sam the very person she had just been thinking about.

"Sam...what happened to you? Are you alright? Why didn't you go to a healer about those bruises!"

She whispered frantically, worried in case he had been hurt by someone, hurt by Jamie perhaps?

"No, please, you don't have to-"

As Willow listened to Sam's apology she couldn't help but forgive him, true what they had did had effected her love with Jamie so much that it had really hurt the both of them but she couldn't see Sam hurting any more she wanted to forgive him and have him be happy again, if that meant trying to find someone for him to love then she would do that.

"I accept your apology Sam but it wasn't needed. Me and Jamie are fine after telling him and we are more in love than we ever were so if anything I should be thanking you for making our relationship stronger. Oh Sam, please don't go. I need my big brother..."

Sin was glad to see Willow was still as kind, caring and understanding as ever.

He laughed warmly "Dont worry yourself mi coraz- Willow, im fine. My sister jsut threw a tantrum and i happened to get in the way is all haha" He prodded his brusies. "See. Nothing. Im fine."

He sighed with relief and fell to his knees and smiled up to the sky.
"Thank you Willow... I dont deserve your forgiveness, but thank you. Im glad you two are ok. I really am."

He opened his eyes and smiled kindly at Willow.
"I wont leave you for long then if you still want me around. Anything for you princ- sis. Can... can your big bro have a hug please?"

Willow moved over to Sam and she knew that he must be feeling pretty bad right now, she wanted to fix that for him but she just didn't know how to, so, she decided that the least she could do was to be here for him whenever he needed her to be.

"Your older sister? I'm not quite sure I like the sound of her, you should never hit your siblings, it's just really bad form."

Frowning a little bit she placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently, she was glad that he was staying here with her but she didn't want to force him too however much it would hurt her to see him go.

"You don't have to stay...if you want to go...you can. But I'll miss you brother. Of course you can!"

Willow smiled and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

He smiled and laughed gently at her.
"She's not that bad, not really. And ive not been much of anything to her really. I dont mind haha. It doesnt bother me."

His heart kept switching between feeling light and heavy as Willow got close to him. It was unfair how she seemed to get more beautiful every time he saw her. He'd never get to feel affection like this again, but he didnt mind. To still have Willow as a friend meant the world to him. He never wanted to hurt her again.

"I dont want to go Willow. I like to be where you are. S-so i-i can keep an eye on you. You know that that if you ever still need me i'll come running."

He was so elated when she wrapped her arms around him. He wrapped his arms around her back and squoze her gently, never wanitng to let go but knew he had to to be fair to them both. At least this hug would be enough to keep him happy forever. He eventually relunctantly let go and smiled at her gesturing for them to go for a little walk.
"So, how've you been sis? Hows your broom shop doing?"

Willow smiled happily when Sam said he wanted to be where she was she didn't know if it was out of family live like it used to be or out of this new love that he seemed to apply to her. She hoped it wasn't the latter as Willow couldn't bear to see him hurting in anyway. Even if she couldn't do anything about it she wished she could.

"Then you must stay! Oh yes I may need you to open a jar for me, or to be all big brothery and protective when it comes to Jamie, to give ms away if I ever got married...part of my happiness depends on you brother."

She felt he didn't want to stop the huh and Willow felt a bit guilty in case she was leading him on, but she didn't see the harm in a friendly hug that he had asked her for. As Sam gestured for a walk Willow obliged him, not taking his hand but walking beside him.

"My shop? Ita doing great thank you! Making a great turnover now so I'm in lots of money as opposed to lots of debt, I don't know what to do with it all really, give it to charity I suppose. What have you been up to?"

Willow asked as she stepped over a large tree root in the way of her path.

Sin was still convinced he loved Willow so very much but knew never to love like that again. His master had warned him that if he ever did try to woo Willow again she kill him. He jsut felt truly blessed that they could start putting the past behind them. Sam wouldnt be pleased when he came back to found Sin had put Willow through a thing like this. Sam was very protective of those he cared about. If Jmaie didnt smash Sin's teeth in, Sam would. Not that Sin cared. Willow was here with him. The rest of the world didnt matter a bit to him. Just one more moment to be in the presence of such an angel, was more than he could ever ask for.

He laughed at the whole 'open a jar thing' but his heart felt like it had just been smashed in with a brick when she mentioned marriage, but still he smiled. As much at it would kill him to do it, to see Willow happy meant more to him than life itself.
"Well if you need me so much, then you know i'll never be far."

He smiled at her. "Im glad everything working out for you."
Some happy news for the real Sam to return to at least. But everything else would be a complete shock to the system. How long had it been since he was gone...?

"Giving to charity is a lovely idea, but save some aside to treat yourself. Plus you might want to put some aside is you ever get.." The word felt like a spikey rock in his thraot. "..married."

He had his arms directed at her in case she tripped but she was ok.
"Erm... nothing really. Ive just been asleep or completing errands. You? I bet the kids you teach love you mi am- Willow."
The real Sam has been running from something in hell and slowly losing his mind. Sin saw into Sam's mind when he slept.

He inhaled but paused reluctantly for a minute. "W-Willow... you will tell Jamie im sorry wont you? I never meant to hurt him and i dont want him to come to me when i finish my medication about this becuase i.. might not remember... it er, messes with my head..."

Willow smiled, she liked knowing that even thought both her and Sam had once had feelings for each other they could put them aside to save her relationship with Jamie, after all, Sam was probably still hung up over his ex girlfriend that was why he had acted out like that, he just wanted to feel loved again.

"And that's a comforting thought Sam, I like knowing that you'll be there to protect me if ever I'm in trouble, because lets face it I get into a lot of trouble now adays."

She laughed happily and poked Sam on the nose as she walked beside him, like jamie would ever think of getting married it just wasn't his style and he would probably wait another few years before even thinking about it! Besides. Willow would quite happily have a simple wedding if it meant others were happy.

"Ah I don't think Jamie is really thinking about that at the moment, besides, you know I don't go in for the whole extravagant deal I jsut want a simple wedding at a small church in Rostov with a few of my close friends."

Willow smiled again and nodded:

"They sure seem to! Maybe it's because I give them treats and things. I'll tell him Sam, although he might not want to hear from you, I'll tell him anyway."

Sin had to remain ever thankful that Willow was such a goodhearted and understanding woman.

"Trouble? Why would you be getting into trouble? You know you have to tell me if you're in any trouble Willow, i wont have naything bad happen to you, you know that."

He pulled a tongue at her when she poked him in the nose, and smiled as she walked beside him.

"Well either way im sure you're wedidng would be a truly beautiful one, and you simply mut let big brother help out with the expense. I'd want your wedding day to be the most perfect day of you're entire life were you have everything and anytihng you want."

He laughed happily, glad her job was going well. "Thats good. Haha, it could eb treats or it could just be that you're simply wonderful in every way so they cant help but love you; theres no choice in the matter."

He bowed his head shamefully. "Thank you Willow... I never meant to hurt him... I dont want to lose him as a friend but... i know what i did was wrong and... i'll understand if he doesnt want to speak to me or have me come anywhere near you two again..."
Sin understood, but would Sam...?

He looked up at the sky and smiled sadly, remembering when he and Willow danced in the clouds.

"I think the sun will come out soon sis." He gently kissed and stroked her hand and smiled at her. "Shall i leave you to enjoy the rest of your day Willow? I'd better get going before my sister wakes up and realises im gone anyway.."

Willow smiled, she didn't want to tell Sam the extent of what had happened with jamie and how she still felt so guilty and everytime that she saw Sam the crying face of Jamie popped into her mind so that she was almost afraid to hug him anymore in case this little action would break Jamie down all over again.

"Ah just some stuff, nothing to do with me just some things I've had to help people with. I don't like it when people I like are hurting, so you make sure if you're ever upset that you tell me yes?"

Shaking her head Willow giggled a little bit.

"No Sam, I don't want you to help it's not right you know a bride should pay for her own wedding, or well her father should but...I'll have to pay for it now."

Willow patted Sam on the shoulder and looked at him sadly, she didn't know if Jamie would be able to face him as a friend again but she supposed that the best way to get him back as a friend would be to go and apologise to him in person and tell him how he feels.

"I think if that;'s what you want to still be friends with him then you shoudl go and see him yourself, and tell these things to him yourself, so that way he knows that you mean it."

Biting her lip Willow looked up at Sam.

"If you want to go Sam...I understand this must be painful for you."

"I hope these things havent gotten you into too much trouble." He felt like crying if he had the ability. It didnt matter if he was upset; he'd upset her; thats what made him feel so badly. And it didnt matter even if he did hurt or not; he was jsut a sell, he wasnt real; his pain could be ended any moment his master felt like, but he smiled weakly and nodded. "I will. And i hope you'd tell someone if you were upset too."

He laughed gently and poked her in the cheek. "Since when does the bride herself ever pay for the wedding? Haha, no, since sadly your father cannot, it is up to big brother to do so. I want to anyway. Money means little to me. I'd rather it go to causes that make people happy."

Sin kind of guessed what the pat meant. Becuase of what he had done, it would be remarkably hard for Jamie to forgive the real Sam and move on from this. Sin had caused people more pain then he had ever intended to do.
"I dont think he'll want to see me.. but you're right. I should go to speak to him." Maybe if Jamie realsied the truth about what Sin was - no matter how much his master would want to kill him - maybe Sam would be in the clear.

"The only reason im in any pain at all, is becuase i caused you pain, and for that i am truly sorry. I dont wan to cause you any more pain, i can see it in your eyes that seeing me doesnt help anything." He wrapped his arm around her in a hug and let go again. "Bye Willow. I'll leave you to visit your folks. You know if you ever need me, you need only blow that whistle necklace i gave you a while back and i'll come running. The same applies to Jamie; if he wants to talk to me, he can get me to come to him with that."

He smiled gently at her and wandered off, wanting to look back at her but knew he couldnt. This was ahrd enough for the two of them as it was. He had things he had to set right. He walked until he found the lake and walked into the water. Of course, the cold and pressure and lack of air could do nothing to him. He opened up the gateway back to Spain, leaving behind only best wishes and the last ounce of love he was allowed to give, for Willow.