her name was eliza, and she walked into beauty;; OPEN

Feeling more than a little bleak, Lena was sitting out in the middle of the gardens all by herself. It was drizzling with rain and a fresh gale was blowing. Most of the students had decided to run for cover and stay in their common rooms until the rain was over, but the Uchitel had this unexplainable love of rain.

Rain made Lena feel kind of normal, in all of this drama that was happening. Wishing in the rain was lucky, according to her, and she needed all the luck she could get now. She shut her eyes and made a wish as she spun around, and she bumped directly into someone. She turned around, and she had no words when she discovered who it was.

Lora was never into Herbology. That would explain her lack of visit to the gardens as well. But despite the rain, she had spent most of her time outside and couldn't find anyone. So she decided to come here.

She loved the feel of rain on her skin, as though all her troubles would be washed away. She closed her eyes, smiled to herself and just took a few steps forward when suddenly, she bumped into someone. She opened her eyes and looked at the person in surprise. "Le? What are you doing here?"

Lena blinked when she saw at once it was Lora. Mentally, she sighed a sigh of relief. Anyone else save for Anya, Kait or Nyx, she would have probably ran for the hills or told them to fuck off. "Uh... spinning in the rain," she replied, trying to sound halfway happy.

"What are you doing out here?" she asked curiously, her skin feeling a bit saturated from all that rain.

"Spinning in the rain, huh? Well, how's that working out for you?" Lora asked, hint of an amused smile playing at her lips. "You weren't expecting someone else, were you?"

"Well, I couldn't find anyone out in the grounds, so I thought I'd come check out here." She replied and kept her palm open to catch the rain droplets. "I love the rain; it's kinda soothing for me," she murmured.

"It's working fucktastically!" she grinned. At Lora's next question, her grin fell, raising an eyebrow. Well, she wasn't expecting anyone else, not in the least. "No," she replied, "do I look like I am?"

"Indeed they are," she agreed, nodding in assent. She opened up her palm too to catch the dancing raindrops, giggling a sad giggle. How can a giggle be sad, though? That was a contradiction in itself, wasn't it?

"Glad to see you're having fun," Lora replied with a slight grin. "Nope, you don't. I was just curious....and I was hoping that I wasn't interrupting."

Sensing something was bothering her friend, she gave the Uchitel a hug. "What's the matter?" She asked quietly, as she looked at the falling raindrops on her hand.

Lena shrugged her shoulders. "Lora, I'm never that happy nowadays," she sighed, receiving the girl's hug without hesitation. She then put her arms around her friend as well, letting the raindrops fall on her face. Everything felt chilly, all of a sudden. "Aren't I such a pathetic little bitch?"

Lora held Le's face in her hands and made her look at her. "Don't you dare say that about yourself," she told firmly. "Just cause you are feeling sad, doesn't make you any less of a good person. I'm so sorry that I'm of no help, Le." She sighed. "I wish you were comfortable enough to talk to me about it, but I can't force you to."

Lena blinked when Lora held her face up against hers. It made her feel like she was a child again. Then again, she wasn't far off from that stage yet. "I'm sorry I'm such a sad little woman. I might as well just send myself to a mental hospital, shouldn't I? Like - " she paused there. She didn't want to say anymore and all she wanted to do now was cry.

"You're not sad little woman, Le." Lora replied and shook her head in disagreement. "Would you please stop pulling yourself so low? Besides, there are people who actually deserve to go to a mental hospital, believe me, I know." She muttered.

She sighed once more and asked softly, "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? Do you want me to leave?" She closed her eyes and relished the feeling of the falling raindrops on her face.

"Like who?" asked Lena, tilting her head partly out of curiosity and partly because she wondered if Lora can really tell her about someone who was more mentally unstable at the moment Lena herself was.

Lena shook her head. "I want to talk, but I can't bring myself to," she explained. She caught a raindrop in her palm and shut it tight. "I can't... I'm too used to hiding everything from everyone. Everyone but him." She sighed, shaking her head. She took out a piece of paper that she had written that morning with the words 'Lena Edmunds' written on it over and over again in neat, somewhat loopy writing. "I never showed him," she whispered, staring at it.

"Erm...no one." Lora replied with a sheepish smile, mentally cursing herself for blurting out her anger. Besides, she was here to comfort her friend, not to think about anything else.

She smiled in understanding. Ever since her sister died, she had been isolating her feelings from everyone, except sometimes not from Dylan. Yet, she couldn't say that she completely understand what Le was feeling. "He's lucky, you know." She whispered back, staring at the paper with a small smile. "He's lucky that someone like you loves him so much. I'm sure you two will get back together." She doubted whether the Uchitel would believe her, but she was just saying what she truly believed.

"I wonder if he still does," she whispered, clutching the paper close to her chest, careful not to let any of the tears touch the paper. It was too precious to be stained by tears, or even memories, or even an insult towards it. "I betrayed his trust, Lora. How can he still love me after all I did to him? He was my lapdog. Or... he said he was." She held the sheet tighter against her face, and the tears started to stream down her cheeks.

"But it wasn't your fault, Le." Lora told softly. "It just happened. And I am so sure he cannot just stop loving you because of one incident." She took a deep breath and thought about what to say in response to Le's next statement. "I can see why he would think he was your lapdog. He agreed with whatever you said and did things along with you. But he probably did all that just to make you happy and he may think you took advantage of that."

"Why can't people see I can handle the truth?" she muttered, swallowing her tears, "so what if he's black and I'm white, or I'm day and he's night? He's like... what's in that old English song again?" It wasn't that old, technically, only about a couple of years younger than her, but old all the same. "Umm... he is the hole in my head, he is the space in my bed," - well, that sounded awkward - "he's the silence in between what I think and what I say. He is the night time fear, and he's the morning when it's clear. When he's over, he's the start. He's my head and he's my heart. Or at least, he keeps them." She sighed, shaking her head.

Lora wished desperately that she knew the right thing to say. But at this moment, she knew nothing would make her friend feel better. Like they say, time heals all wounds. "I'm sorry that you have go through this Le," she whispered, closing her eyes to prevent her own tears from falling. "I so want to go talk to him because I know that you don't deserve this."

Lena shook her head, tears still running down her cheeks. "He said we needed a break," she whispered, swallowing. She wiped the tears from her eyes but they kept falling. "So I should give him one!" she shrieked, "he wanted one, not me! Had it been my choice I would have told him... the same thing." She said the last three words as quietly as she could. It was about time she admitted it.

Lora wiped the tears from her friend's face and hugged her tight once again. She couldn't remember a time she had seen the Uchitel like this and it made her feel helpless. "Maybe, a break is just what you both need." She whispered back. "Just until the emotions are cleared and you both can talk to each other again."

Lena nodded. "I guess so," she whispered, her voice smaller than she had ever heard it before. She tried to smile, though her eyes still looked to puffy for the smile to look anywhere near genuine. "Umm... you know that Exchange Program the school's going to have next year?" she began, changing the subject, "are you thinking of going?"

"Yup, I already applied." Lora replied, going along with Le's subject change. "What about you? I'm sure you'd want to cause havoc at that school as well, right?" She asked teasingly, in an attempt to make the Uchitel smile a bit. "If you are going, I hope you don't end up murdering someone."

"I applied a couple of years early," Lena giggled, trying to not boast about that. It was true that Lena got everything done early, but she didn't like to boast about such matters. "I can only hope I get accepted." She snorted at the mention of wrecking havoc on Hogwarts. "I would like for that to happen... but, no. I'd rather be a nobody. Yeah, yeah right!" She fell over, laughing at her own 'joke'.

"Don't worry, you'll most probably get accepted," Lora told encouragingly. "Besides, I don't think that many students applied anyway. Apparently, people like living within these four walls without a need to see the outside world," she muttered mostly to herself and shook her head. She couldn't help but laugh at Le's 'joke'. "You'd rather be a nobody? Yeah, I'll believe that when hell freezes over," she replied with a grin. "That too at a place like Hogwarts."

Lena's eyes widened. "How can someone just want to stay in Durmstrang forever?" she gasped, "aren't there more places to visit than the library, or the Ballerina?" She shook her head in disapproval. However, a new worry began to grow in her chest: what if he went too? She swallowed, chuckling nervously at Lora's next words. "I suppose so," she grinned, forgetting what she was saying.

Lora shrugged in response. "I guess it is kinda safer than what we have to face once we leave. I mean, once in a blue moon, even I wish I didn't have to leave," she admitted. "But then I remember that I need to be an Auror, so that is a motivation for me." Noticing Le's sudden discomfort, she asked concernedly, "What's the matter?"

"We only have a couple of years here," Lena sighed, "I know we must make the most of our time, but I still want to explore other places when I still have my guaranteed safety." She smiled at Lora. "Oh, it's nothing," she chuckled, trying to hide her uneasiness, "I was just being overly paranoid. That's all."